How I Feel Right Now
Tonight, I’m feeling very out of sorts. My nerve pain has reared its ugly head quite a bit recently. It’s really hard to prevent something that can easily be flared by activity, eating, drinking or stress. But, somehow I’ve had way more good days than bad over the past year.
When I get this way it still makes me feel absolutely terrible. It steals all my confidence in “myself.” It knocks the joy right out of me. It makes me feel like everything is broken and can’t be fixed. Fortunately, I’ve learned it’s just feelings ignited by my broken nervous system.
While I may never like this thorn in my flesh. I can’t deny it’s value for God’s kingdom. One, it keeps me humbly walking with the Lord. Two, it makes me realize my total dependence upon the Lord. Thirdly, it makes me more compassionate towards others who struggle with life altering stuff. Fourthly, it makes it impossible for me to get the glory for anything accomplished. Overall, I’ve just seen how God continues to use it to get me and my ministry wherever He wants it to be.
It’s perfectly normal for this kinda stuff to disrupt your life. None of us like suffering or hardships. Yet, there is no denying God uses these things powerfully if we let Him. There are times you need to kick and scream in a safe environment. You also need to be reminded that God doesn’t plan to waste even a moment of your pain.
(Romans 8:28)(NLT) And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.