Empty But Hopeful

Well, it’s been another very long day. Lots of tossing, turning and leaning on God’s grace. Praise God, I was able to gain clarity in preparing this Sunday’s God led sermon. Also, I’ve always got a long list of things to do for so many I care about. That said, I’m definitely running on empty when it comes to my energy.

For some reason the increased medication I started over a month ago is keeping me in such a fog. I wake up barely able to see in front of me even after sleeping 8-10 hours. So, starting tonight I’m cutting things back significantly to see if I can still sleep and be able to function with clarity. If I didn’t take an energy supplement I would rarely get anything done.

Fortunately, my lower back pain is under control as I lay waiting to fall asleep. However, my body is still buzzing all over from my feet into my face. I just turned off my stimulator and my wife will turn it back on in a few hours. If I’m not being over stimulated then I’m not sure what’s got my nervous system so scattered.

One thing I always have to do in times like these is just be honest. I have to let people know that I’m human too. I can’t do everything I might normally do. Unless it’s absolutely necessary I have to share the ministry load with other leaders. I’m so grateful for a church family that simply loves me wherever life finds me. Otherwise, I could never carry on as a pastor.

As I write these things please know I’m not asking for pity. I appreciate your compassion and prayers. I honestly write these things prompted by God. Often when I post something God gives me instant peace. The peace of knowing I’m letting Him use my pain and hoping it all brings Him glory. God has always taken me through even the lowest valleys. My faith and resolve have never felt stronger. Mainly because God has never let me down. I know God will help you too. Just put your little hand in His big hand.

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. (Romans 5:3-5)