Pastor Craig Crosby

Through Every Storm

Posted on March 22, 2023     Leave a Comment

Life continues to throw curve balls my way. Since 2015 I’ve not had a day without some level of physical challenge. Chronic pain has changed my life, but it’s also changed my perspective.

You see, there are some things you can only learn through trials and tribulations. The valleys are where our faith is forced into flight. Over time God somehow grows us and shows us even more through the pain. Especially when the training wheels of our faith are taken away.

There are still many nights that I could go on and on about my suffering. In fact, I still spend most evenings doing whatever necessary to ease my aching body. However, deep down I’m stronger within than I’ve ever been. This only became possible when I learned how to fully lean on the Lord for my strength.

After seeing God make the impossible, possible. After learning that God really can take me through anything life brings throws my way. After experiencing God’s greatest peace in my lowest valleys. I finally know without a doubt that God will take me through every storm.

Tonight, I recall the lyrics of a song I used to love singing early into my call to ministry. The song is called “Through Every Storm.” I pray you will take these words to heart.

“Impossible to go through life without some hurt, some pain
And you can’t live in sunshine always, sometimes it rains
But God knew every step you’d take
Each valley you’d go through
And He chose long ago to walk with you

Through every storm
God will somehow take you safely without harm
Though at times you may feel frightened and alarmed
Through every storm
Those nights that you’ll spend waiting for the sun
And when you feel your strength is gone, He’ll come
And carry you through every storm

I know you know yourself so well,
With all your weaknesses inside
And you can’t see how you could ever face a lonely night
But don’t you understand your strength is never quite enough
My God’s gonna have to help you do it
I know he’ll see you

Through every storm
God will prove Himself time and time again
And when your efforts aren’t enough He’ll take over then

Through every storm
Those nights that you’ll spend waiting for the sun
And when you feel your strength is gone, He’ll come
And carry you through every storm.
And when you feel your strength is gone, He’ll come
And carry you through every storm.”

My Next 30 Years?

Posted on March 5, 2023     Leave a Comment

It’s getting much harder to acknowledge my birthday these days. Just knowing that time is ticking by so fast has the wheels churning in my mind. I’ve been pondering all week how I hope to spend my next thirty years. That’s if God grants me that many more years. Hard to believe my dad passed away just 24 years older than I am now.

That said, I can’t slow time down. However, I can seek to live what time I have left to the fullest for God’s glory. I can seek to make the healthiest decisions moving forward. I can apply lessons learned in the past as I walk towards the future by faith.

There’s no denying that I have many physical challenges because of my broken body. But, that same brokenness has increased my inner strength, peace, resolve and faith. Fortunately, my faith has so much further it can grow. So, I’m trying to take my wife’s advice and just “age gracefully.”

Today I’m thanking God for 48 years of life. I’ve buried many souls that were much younger. Today, I’m thanking God for what health He has restored and given me. Today, I’m thanking God for the plans He has for my life. I don’t have to make up or understand the plan. God simply calls me to follow Him and trust Him step by step. I’ll be faith walking until the day God calls me home.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”

God Is So Good

Posted on January 14, 2023     Leave a Comment

While I still deal with weakness in my legs, lower back discomfort and have new limitations. The insane nerve pain I had for so long has been staying consistently under control for quite some time. I’m so grateful to have the necessary relief and strength necessary to feel normal again.

God has really been good to me and worked a lot of miracles on my behalf. I’m very happy for my new normal despite the challenges I’ve endured. I will not forget what God has done for me. I will not quit telling my story for God’s glory.

I remember meditating on the following verses for over five years before I ever saw major progress. My friends don’t give up on what God can do for you no matter where life finds you. God is taking you on a faith walk and you can trust Him every step of the way.

“When Job prayed…the Lord restored his fortunes. In fact, the Lord gave him twice as much as before! Then all his brothers, sisters, and former friends came and feasted with him in his home. And they consoled him and comforted him because of all the trials the Lord had brought against him…So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning.” (Job 42:10-12)(NLT)

Honesty Is Hard Sometimes

Posted on December 17, 2022     Leave a Comment

I’ve gotten to a point in my journey where sometimes I just don’t want to talk about my health struggles anymore. It is such a roller coaster full of ups and downs. However, it seems the down times hurt a lot deeper when they wreck my nervous system. Here I am again only sharing this update out of obedience to God.

I’m lying on my side with my entire body vibrating. I had to turn off my spinal cord stimulator again. I’m literally out of breath and feeling so deflated inside. While I’ve experienced this level of misery so many times, it honestly never gets easier.

Fortunately, I now have a lot of experience and faith underneath me. I know this storm cloud will pass. I will wake up tomorrow ready to preach. But, the pain is so discouraging and uncomfortable right now. I want so much to wake up and be cured of this condition. Yet, I know that’s not gonna happen until I get to Heaven.

There’s someone reading this right now that can identify with every word I’m sharing. You just don’t feel like you can get through your present condition that affects you physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally, and spiritually. Trust me, God will take you through every trial this life brings. I can’t tell you how many times God has picked me up when all I had was feelings of hopelessness.

Put your little hand in God’s big hand and keep it there. Know that your pain has purpose behind what any of us can comprehend. Don’t be afraid to be honest with those around you. God will strengthen you, renew you and keep taking care of you. Faith walking is not about you feeling in control. It’s about realizing that God is in control no matter how things feel or appear to you.

“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Another Rough Day

Posted on December 9, 2022     Leave a Comment

Typically, every night around this time is tough with my never pain. However, today has been rough since the moment I woke up. It seems I still live in denial when it comes to my nerve condition. I want to think I can do things like most my age. Unfortunately, my body gives me a very rude awakening at least once a week.

When nerve pain is literally burning in your face it’s hard to smile in these moments. Your emotions take you all over the place. Nothing feels good or easy. All you know is you’re in desperate need of God’s grace and comfort. Even with the greatest faith you still can’t ignore such feelings of torment.

Many see me these days and think I must have been completely healed. Yes, God has brought me a long way and given me some relief. But, I face this giant attacking my entire body everyday I wake up. I depend completely on God’s strength from sun up to sun down. The bad news is I won’t be completely healed until I get to Heaven. The good news is God always makes a way through the seeming impossible.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Looks Can Be Deceiving

Posted on November 5, 2022     Leave a Comment

The past two days especially have not been great for my nerve pain. This morning our dog simply barked and it felt like lightning rushed throughout my entire body. After that it felt like someone had burned up every single nerve within me from my feet into my face. I spent most of the day in bed before going out to eat for my wife’s birthday. Heating pads have been my best friends. Nightly hot baths have become consistent necessities again.

Something has definitely gotten into my system that has caused things to flare. So, I’m trying to get that message from my head into my heart for acceptance. It seems when things are good it’s so relieving. But, when things flare back up it feels I’m once again a prisoner to my own body. All I know is I’m willing to do just about anything to stay on top of the pain.

Like many who battle severe chronic pain, you can’t always see it on our face. We’re used to trying to keep it in our pocket. We’re used to having to walk through it regardless of how we feel about it. You simply never get comfortable with it. You somehow learn to tolerate it the best way possible.

Anytime this pain totally wears out it’s welcome. I feel forced to come out of my hiding and confess it. I believe wholeheartedly God wants to use my pain to encourage someone else through their pain. I’ve seen firsthand how much God can do regardless of the struggle. Somehow, someway God always strengthens me and gives me just the relief I need to carry on. Often, that healing begins by taking off your super hero mask and earnestly seeking God’s divine intervention. I know God will help you too my friend.

“ Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” James 5:16

It’s Been Awhile Praise God

Posted on October 25, 2022     Leave a Comment

Sadly, this change in cooler weather brings a very unwelcome change in my body. Nights especially are full of aches and pains. The metal inside my back is screaming loudly. Every nerve I have seems to be going haywire. The only break from the misery is lots of heat and sleep.

It’s so easy to get down when you feel miserable. In these moments, nothing feels easy. In these moments, everything seems terrible. In these moments, it can be very hard to maintain a positive mindset. However, praise is not all about how you feel. Praise is about recognizing the greatness and goodness of God.

God I thank you for all the times my pain has been very minimal. God I thank you for all that I’m able to do these days compared to days in the past. God I thank you for your undeserved grace and strength that sustain me daily. God I thank you for using my pain to get me closer to you. God I thank you for never leaving my side and proving your faithfulness time and time again.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

Giving God All The Praise

Posted on September 3, 2022     Leave a Comment

I typically get on here when my pain is unbearable. This post is polar opposite of the norm. I really do believe this is the most consistent my health has been in a very long time. I’ve been able to handle way more mentally, emotionally and physically lately. I am so thankful for God’s strength and peace each day.

While, I may not be completely healed my endurance and strength has grown so much. My spinal cord stimulator seems to be keeping my nerve pain in check. My hand appears to have no more lingering nerve pain after a procedure done four weeks ago.

Tonight, is the first time I’ve even had to soak in epsom salt in several weeks. I just feel normal again in my mind and outlook on life. I’m back to being able to help others again and that fills my heart with joy. I know I’ve got to continue to live a recovery lifestyle. But where I am now is better than I’ve felt in least 7 years of so many continuous health issues.

I give God all the honor, glory, and praise for the miracles happening in my life.

The following is a scripture I used to meditate on daily especially in my lowest days.

“So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning.”
Job 42:12

Thankful For God’s Peace

Posted on August 27, 2022     Leave a Comment

Had a minor procedure done 8/15/22 on my right hand that required 4 very painful shots. Beforehand, I had no major pain in my hand. Sadly, afterwards my hand was full of shooting nerve pain. So, on 8/19/22 they put me on steroids to help with the inflammation. For 6 days I took prednisone and extra pain meds that eventually helped or covered up that pain.

Yesterday (8/26/22) I finally thought things were drastically better and the nerves must have settled. However, after 48 hours without the steroids in my system the previous sensations of shooting nerve pain have returned. Fortunately, wearing this compression sleeve does seem to help. Plus, my overall physical pain has been drastically reduced. However, the last thing I needed was more nerve damage.

This morning around 5am the nerves in my hand woke me up again like clock work. Fortunately, God has flooded me with a lot more peace. At first, I was not processing waiting on something else further to heal very well. I’ve definitely done a lot of kicking and screaming inside the past two weeks. Now, I’m just trusting God once again for my continued healing.

On a very positive note the rest of my body’s nerve damage has been consistently staying in check. My spinal cord stimulator seems in perfect rhythm. So, when I consider all God has done in the past. I can’t help but trust Him with the present and future. I’m gonna keep my little hand in His big hand.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and God of all encouragement, who encourages us in our every affliction, so that we may be able to encourage those who are in any affliction with the encouragement with which we ourselves are encouraged by God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

I Didn’t Need More Pain

Posted on August 24, 2022     Leave a Comment

Been up all night with my right hand throbbing on fire with nerve pain. Sadly, a simple hand injection that was supposed to help a problem has only created problems. There’s no doubt that a communicated easy solution has become a nightly nightmare the past 8 nights.

Nothing harder to swallow than a doctor telling you something will be quick and easy. Then, you end up dealing afterwards with another constant avoidable pain. Unfortunately, this is not my first rodeo with such unexpected experiences.

It’s amazing how sensitive your hands are when it comes to any shots or torn nerves within. Sadly, most pain medications needed to make this level pain decrease only further complicate my issues. Most narcotics make my heart race and only further delay my ability to rest. Icing my hand has worked at times, but it’s not erasing the pain.

So, pray things settle down soon because I have no present solution beyond prayer. I do know this is just another test of faith meant for me to endure. Pray God gives me solutions but also patience for this extra thorn in my flesh. I’ve seen God help me overcome far greater in the past. I’ve just got to keep trusting him with the present and future.

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” James 5:16

Day 1: God’s Blessing

Posted on July 4, 2022     Leave a Comment

Here I am only halfway into day one of obedience. God has already flooded me with rest, peace, and healing. I had a wonderful night of sleep. I woke up with my spinal cord stimulator working like a charm. It seems my nerves are settled and my pain is minimal.

Today God led me to read all of Psalm 119. Every word of that psalm centers around the pricelessness of God’s word. How God uses it to guide us, renew us and bless us. It’s so important we meditate on God’s truth daily. If we do so with a whole heart God will fill us with his joy.

It’s so easy in this day and time to get distracted by other things. We pick up our phones day and night with so many options. We most make sure that we don’t read Facebook more than we do God’s book. I’m doing my best to practice this discipline in my life. This isn’t just to reach some goal. But, I know the greatest life is a God led life. And, the primary way God guides us is through His word.

“Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord. Joyful are those who obey his laws and search for him with all their hearts.”

Psalms 119:1-2 NLT

Another 40 Days Away

Posted on July 4, 2022     Leave a Comment

We all go through seasons and each have a purpose in light of eternity. It’s so important we listen to God’s voice. However, we can’t hear His voice clearly without intentionally seeking His heart. We do this best by removing the distractions and excuses. We do this by repenting and wholeheartedly seeking to draw closer to God above all else.

I’ve had many seasons where God has called me to draw a little closer. I believe I’m in another one of those times in my life. For God to have more space in our lives we’ve got to give him more space. We’ve got to be willing to make whatever adjustments necessary to keep walking closely with Jesus.

God is leading me to take another 40 days away from social media. Therefore, I will be deleting my Facebook app. I will only jump on whenever God is leading me to share something. I will use this time of fasting from social media to seek even more the heart of God. To let God renew me and ready me for His service. I will be praying for each of you even in my absence.

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13)

From Struggle To Strength

Posted on July 4, 2022     Leave a Comment

I’m finally home after a very tough physical day. However, I’m so much better now compared to how my day started. After several days of over stimulation I decided to turn my spinal cord stimulator completely off. This time instead of it just being off 5 hours. I decided to try at least 12 hours. Well, I turned the unit off Saturday night at 9pm. Then, around 1:30 am on Sunday morning I was drastically awoken from pain consuming me at the highest level.

If I ever wondered if my stimulator helped much. I don’t have to wonder anymore. After just 4 1/2 hours off every ounce of pain I ever had returned. I was half asleep and crazy after being so shocked by the pain. I can’t think of one part of my body that wasn’t aching intensely as I just sought to catch my breath. Once I realized what was happening I quickly turned my stimulator back on.

I can promise you this my friends. I will never turn my spinal cord stimulator fully off again. I may turn it down but never off completely. Every nerve in my body still feels like they were fried. My legs have barely been at 30-35% level strength all day. I feel like I’m just having to drag my feet when I walk.

Fortunately, my stimulator appears to be putting things back in order hour by hour. I’ve got things set a few notches lower than before. My overall nerves have settled quite a bit. Now, my body is simply recovering from a nightmare experience. I fully believe God allowed this week’s struggles so that I could be sure of my source of strength. Otherwise, I couldn’t have preached boldly this morning’s message called “Where Strength Is Found.”

(2 Corinthians 12:8-10) Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Not Who I Once Was

Posted on June 30, 2022     Leave a Comment

Tonight is another one of those nights. In fact, this makes four nights in a row my nerve pain has wrestled me to the ground. I’m writing this post while icing my back and laying on my side. Whether I like it or not the cold hard facts are impossible to ignore. I’m not physically the same person I used to be for so long.

I’ve come so far when it comes to coping with my nerve wrecked body. However, I’ve hit another one of those rough patches. Since Sunday night nothing has felt easy and my nerves have felt fried. That’s hard to swallow when you’re a pastor who genuinely loves people. Yet, my body will only allow me to do so much.

I can no longer deal with crisis situations from sun up to sun down. I can no longer drive whenever and wherever I feel like it. Sure, I can try to be who I used to be to so many. But, I will only end up feeling like I do right now.

Sometimes you just have to speak cold truth to yourself. I’ve been doing better than ever on my diet. I had been doing excellent with keeping my nerve pain under control. But, I gradually drifted towards being the old me. Now, I know there’s a reason why I’ve watched carefully my ministry load for the past seven years.

While I absolutely hate this nauseating pain flooding my body. This is God’s way of reminding me of my new limits. In fact, if you are dealing with life altering chronic pain. You will have to drastically adjust your way of life and make daily tough decisions. It’s okay to have clear boundaries and a constant self awareness. You just need to keep taking the next right step when it comes to your new normal.

“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing.” Psalm 143:10

Had Another Meltdown

Posted on May 28, 2022     Leave a Comment

Late last night I experienced something that used to be a daily occurrence. Honestly, I didn’t see it coming it had been so long. I knew the pain in my lower back surgical spot was increasing in pain. What I didn’t know was I would end up in a nonstop puddle of tears.

The best way I can describe it is like a neurological seizure that rushed throughout my body. I’m not talking about parts of my body, but shooting nerve sensations from my feet into my face. Every single nerve within me experienced shock waves. Next thing I knew I was snot crying out the toxins that filled my veins. Honestly, for a short while it really took me back to times I would rather forget.

Today, I feel like I’m just reflecting on a really bad hurricane that swept through my body last night. Sure, I’ve still got some discomfort in my lower back. But, the insanity has been calmed once again. I told my wife it blows my mind that nearly everyday used to feel that way. I really never knew what the next minute would hold. I used to fall apart seemingly everyday.

Praise God I generally live with much greater peace, confidence and consistency these days. I’ve learned how to embrace my new normal. I’ve learned that God will always be faithful. I’ve learned that God can and will see me through whatever life brings my way. I still pray for each of you that are walking through pain. Trust me, if God can help me He can help you. I live each day as a miracle knowing God is so good. My greatest pain nowadays just reminds me that I no longer live in my yesterdays.

(Lamentations 3:22-23)
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness”

Still Blows My Mind

Posted on March 31, 2022     1 Comment

I was looking through my God led blog stats. Once again I was very humbled. Over the last 10 years I’ve written over 1500 posts. They have been viewed over 100,000 times from people in 130 different countries. How in the world does that happen when all I’m doing is sharing my faith walk. I know there are many that read my blog that I will never meet in person. I want you to know I truly care about you. In fact, God cares about you and has special plans for you. I’m praying something I share will encourage on your journey. Here below are pics of the 24 countries that have read my blog this past month besides the United States.

Day Two: Forward Optimism

Posted on March 31, 2022     Leave a Comment

This is just day two of my 40 Day Faith Walk reboot. If you’ve followed my pain journey the past several years you know this is either my 4th or 5th time on this type of God led journey. In these 40 days I hope to grows me stronger physically, mentally, emotionally and for sure spiritually. I believe I’m headed in the right direction under His care.

Today, I was out of the house for around 4 hours. At least, I was able to get something accomplished. I did have to keep my battery operated heating pad on high the entire day. Seems as soon as I take it off the pain in my lower back takes me back down. I get extremely weak and nauseous quickly.

So, around 4:30pm today I had to take a muscle relaxer and go back to sleep. After a couple hours of sleep I felt much better. I’ve just been sluggish because of the medication. At least this time I was able to stay ahead of the pain. My body overall just feels like it’s throbbing and worn down.

My stimulator technician has allowed me to turn my stimulator back up just one notch. Which means I’m now running it on a level 5. I used to run it on a strength level of 8. I know my unit has not been giving me the same level of pain relief as before. That surgical area just seems to stay very sensitive and sore.However, I feel today was a huge step forward towards optimism.

One, the pain overall has been kept bearable. Two, I was able to be out twice as much as yesterday. Three, I do believe turning my stimulator up will help in time. Unfortunately, that could still take another week for very noticeable changes. As I look back to when I used to write all the time about my pain. I realize several things worth highlighting.

One, things have only been rolling down this hill the past 6 weeks. I was doing so good for what seemed like so long. So, I know things WILL get better in time. Adjustments are just having to be made while God has me in His workshop.

Two, I never started any of my other 40 Day Faith Walks feeling this good. Where I am now is where I usually ended back in those days. Meaning I’m starting this journey knowing my glass is half full not half empty. I never had this level of mental, physical, or spiritual confidence when facing similar valleys in the past. Meaning, the past battles really have left me stronger and more battle prepared. I thank God that I’m still way better today than how things were for so many years.

Three, I can just feel the hand of God upon me. This is another purposeful time where God is teaching me and hopefully using me. I do feel strength even in my weakness. I do have confidence as I look into the future. I do know deep in my heart that God will take me through this struggle. He always has and He always will supply all my needs.

I’m going to bed with my physical pain at a 5 out of 10. However, I’m also going to bed with my spiritual peace being a 9 out 10. Of course, anything that is heavy feels heavy. But, when you can feel God’s presence and see God at work. Your spirit can be lifted even when your physical strength is low. I’m seeking to trust God with every step just like a child. And, I’m so thankful for all of my prayer warriors. I’m praying for you too!

“Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

“For we live by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7

I Need Your Prayers

Posted on March 30, 2022     1 Comment

I really didn’t see this coming. This pain has once again wore me down and left me shaking my head. Honestly, I can write about it easier than I can talk about it. It’s not that I get so emotional, but just breathing wears me out right now. This pain is so suffocating and impossible to ignore.

Right now, there isn’t much positive thinking. When the pain reaches this level it tends to blow up your internal breaker box. Misery is the nicest word that comes to mind. And, in the midst of this misery I’m fighting to keep the faith.

So, I’m gonna keep this real short. I’m headed to bed just in hopes of some relief. Sadly, the only time I’m not hurting is when I’m asleep. I’ve officially taken the next 40 days away from social media. So, the only ones who can read this are those who connect to my blog. Please join me in praying for breakthrough. I can’t change this on my own. I desperately need God to intervene.

“Jesus replied, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.” Luke 18:27

I Understand Your Pain

Posted on March 29, 2022     Leave a Comment

I’m not writing this for just anyone. I’m writing this for those who can relate to nonstop pain. I know what it’s like to feel uncomfortable every moment you’re awake. To feel like each breath takes effort for many reasons. I know how pain melts you and unfortunately changes you. While you try to take the next right step, even the first step can be difficult.

Traditionally, I try to take Monday’s off to recover from Sundays. However, even after 10 hours of solid sleep I was still hurting when I woke up today. All I’ve done today was rest, lay down, or sit up. My body hasn’t felt like it could handle anymore. Here I am still dealing with continuous pain and back in the bath for the evening.

Looking back, I’m sure I shouldn’t have stood to preach both Sunday services. That’s something I’ve only done a few times over the last 5 plus years. Either way this pain is all too familiar. It’s been a day full of discomfort, discouragement, and distraction. You go through so many emotions, but somehow God gives you enough strength to keep hoping forward.

Fortunately, I know this all can change. It’s not always this way, but when it is you find yourself in such turmoil. You feel burdened and sometimes like a burden to those around you. If this describes your feelings know that you’re not alone. God is with you and others do understand your challenge. Fortunately, tomorrow is a new day and God can always change things.

“Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

“I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, “You are my God!” My future is in your hands.” Psalm 31:14-15

When You Lose Control

Posted on March 28, 2022     Leave a Comment

I don’t think losing a sense of control ever does your nerves a lot of good. You would think by now I would be a veteran of dealing with chronic pain. However, this past week really shook me up. Even though I’ve had many rough seasons in the past. My most recent flare up left me afraid and wondering what the future might hold. In fact, humanly I still wonder about things.

There’s just something about feeling so limited that brings you to your knees. It’s so much easier just to talk about your faith. But, when faith is all you’ve got your faith better grow deeper roots. I’ve been having to borrow from past victories in order to believe God for present ones.

Fortunately, I know my faith can’t rely on my abilities. Even if I was extremely healthy that could change in a heartbeat. How often do we rest our faith on our abilities, resources, or circumstances. Once again I believe God is aiming to take the training wheels off of my faith. He’s calling me to trust Him more and to realize that all my hope is only in Him.

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

I’m Feeling “God”

Posted on March 26, 2022     Leave a Comment

Well, I haven’t been out the house today. However, I have been getting some much needed rest and relax time. It seems my spinal cord stimulator is working to perfection at it’s new setting. I feel nothing crazy going on within my body. My pain is under control and my nerves are very calm. Last night, I slept almost 10 hours straight.

I’m continuing to watch what I eat and drink. I’ve found it’s okay to eat a normal meal here and there. But, for the most part I’m continuing to watch carefully what I do and I don’t eat. Still eating mainly veggies, fruits, lean meats, nuts, and beans. Occasionally, I eat some dairy. But, even with plain Rice Krispies I use non sweetened almond milk. I do all I can to stay away from inflammatory foods and to intentionally digest anti-inflammatory foods. Of course, this is always flushed by water, water, water.

The only other big adjustment I must make moving forward is my stress load. When you’re in a vocation that is always demanding something from you it can be dynamite to your system. So, I’ve got to recognize my limits and anything that can take me down easily. I guess I’m still having to learn how to live my new normal.

I want to thank each of you for your continued prayers. They mean a lot and make a big difference. While I’m still a little winded from a very tough week. I’ve got great peace and optimism moving forward. I can’t wait to make the devil mad with each day that passes. I give God all the glory for my progress!!

Jesus said, “I am the vine and you are the branches If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit. Apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

Tears, Smiles, Peace

Posted on March 26, 2022     Leave a Comment

This has been a very long week and a very long day. There have been many ups and downs. I’ve had many reasons to smile and some reasons to cry. So, I decided to do both for healing purposes. Now, I’m about to go to bed full of God’s peace.

I finally got my spinal cord stimulator adjusted today. After much evaluation it was confirmed that my unit must be dialed down. Due to over stimulation of my nerves my stimulator can only be run at fifty percent of its usual power. Now, it can take up to two weeks for full benefits to be felt. But, it will immediately keep my nerves from being fried even if it does allow some pain to increase.

It’s so hard to explain what this stuff feels like inside of you. All I know is that stimulator is like oxygen for my body. It keeps my nerves and pain under control. I never fully realize all it’s doing until it’s taken away. When it’s not running at full strength I become quickly deflated and discouraged. However, anyone is gonna feel discouraged when your pain escalates so quickly.

That said I know things are on track for betters. Most that have those units must get them adjusted at least 1-2 times yearly. I’ve had several cry sessions today without warning. They weren’t reflections of any sadness, but the madness that wrecked my insides. Often, when it gets this way it’s like a chemical imbalance that can only be cried out of your system.

Throughout this day I’ve had many divine conversations. Enough for me to be sure that God is not wasting my pain. God is making me stronger day by day. God is giving me opportunities to use my story to encourage others. God is healing my mind, body, and soul even when I shed tears. Just for the record I really am going to bed smiling tonight.

“For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime! Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Psalm 30:5

Another God Made Day

Posted on March 25, 2022     Leave a Comment

Well, the prayers must be working because I’ve had no meltdowns today. I’ve also been doing everything I know to keep things under control. When things get this way I’ve learned every strategy matters. If I’ve got to stay in my bed longer that’s what must happen. If I’ve got to soak in a tub for hours that’s what must happen. If I’ve got to watch everything I eat that’s what must happen.

Today, I just shortened my day and worked from home. That allowed me the strength to facilitate a funeral today. That allowed me the ability to go and celebrate my niece’s 18th birthday. After all if you can’t be there for your own family you shouldn’t be ministering all the time to others. I’ve just been very grateful overall with today.

I have found that keeping my battery operated heating pads constantly on underneath my shirt has been a life saver. Seems as long as I keep that surgical spot heated it usually keeps me sane. Praise God, I will be getting my spinal cord stimulator adjusted by a professional tomorrow at noon. Early this morning I did turn my unit back up to what used to keep things under control. That could’ve contributed to some of my pain improvement I experienced later today. But, I know I’ve still got to get things checked.

Now, I will spend another evening in the tub. But, I’m very grateful for God’s new mercies each day. Things could be so much worse for me. Even amidst all the squirming my pain creates within me. I know how much more hope I have today compared to years before. So, God keep taking me by the hand and leading the way. Use every ounce of my pain for your glory. Hopefully, y’all will hear much less from me about my discomfort in the days to come.

“As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth. “Rabbi,” his disciples asked him, “why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sins?”

“It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him.” John 9:1-3

God Only Knows

Posted on March 23, 2022     Leave a Comment

Somehow this pain just keeps sneaking back up on me. Everyday ends with me feeling like I’m in unbearable pain. Saying I hate feeling this way is an understatement. I was doing so well for so long. Plus, I’m seeking to do all the right things more than ever before. Yet, my pain is so much worse in my lower back.

Crazy how that one spot can bring me to my knees anytime. In fact, my surgical spot dictates my overall condition at all times. If the pain there is under control my life feels day and night different. When it stays on fire anything in life feels unbearable. It really is starting to wear me down.

I don’t even like to use this word but I know it’s true. I now have a major disability that I must learn how to live with the rest of my life. Based on medical records I could go file for disability any time. And, I would do so if that’s what I felt led to do. But, I don’t want to live with a disability perspective. I know God has so much more for me to do.

However, I am having to change my perspective day by day. I can’t do things like I’ve always done. I can’t handle hardly anything physical anymore. Sadly, so many things ignite and escalate my nerve pain. All I know is quit is not an option. So, if I can’t get over it I will trust God to take me through it.

All I know is God has a plan. There is nothing that takes Him by surprise. Somehow this is part of his plans for my life. I’m not asking God to remove this pain. I am asking God to use this pain for His glory. I pray something He leads me to share will encourage others.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

I Know You Hate It

Posted on March 23, 2022     Leave a Comment

Maybe you feel stuck inside a broken body or situation that keeps letting you down. No matter how hard you try it keeps impacting all aspects of your life. It’s not one of those things you can just ignore. Time has proven this is just your present cross to bear. Boy, can I relate with your feelings.

Many weeks have passed since I can remember not having to fight this increased pain inside my body. I’ve been doing everything possible to make things better. More rest, shorter days, diet, exercise, and everything else in between. The pain in my lower back just keeps holding me hostage. I literally have to calculate each move just to keep it bearable. My days are tough but my nights are much worse.

Fortunately, I have learned a lot over the past 7 years of chronic pain. You can’t let it completely steal your joy. You have to believe that God sees all, knows all and has a plan for it all. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a pastor or the president. There will always be something fighting to steal your joy. It could be physical, emotional, mental, or relational pain. Don’t obsess over what you can’t control. Rest in the fact that God is always in control. Jesus can still fill your love with joy and purpose even in the pain.

Jesus said, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them life to its fullest.” John 10:10

The Facts Don’t Lie

Posted on March 21, 2022     Leave a Comment

My friends you have to keep up with certain facts if you deal with certain challenges. Everyday I seek to watch closely certain things in order to overcome my chronic pain. I watch my rest, activity, eating, drinking , standing, sitting, and even driving habits daily. Each of these things especially pooled together with others can easily take me down.

For instance, there is a reason I’ve not gotten out of the bed since last night. I had an absolutely wonderful day with my church family celebrating 8 years of God at work. At the same time, I knew before I went to bed that today would be very tough. Fortunately, this time I know why my body is aching so much. Why? Because I have learned that the facts do tell a lot about what’s going on.

Here are the facts according to my Fitbit.
One, I only slept 3 1/2 hrs the night before when me condition demands at least 8 hours of rest daily. Two, I typically shouldn’t walk over 5,000 steps per day. But, yesterday I walked nearly 15,000 steps. Three, my body does best when I’m not physically active for more than 6-8 hours daily. But, yesterday I was physically active for 14 hours. Four, my body does best when I drink at least 60-80 ounces of water. Yesterday, I maybe drank 40 ounces. Finally, I typically don’t drink any caffeine due to how much it adds to my inflammation. Yesterday was the first day in 7 days that caffeine was let in me body.

Overall all I ate pretty healthy and didn’t do anything crazy yesterday. But, the facts were still stacked against me. Keeping a close eye on these facts actually helps me a lot. They remind me that each of my decisions and sacrifices truly matter. They facts settle me because I don’t have to wonder what’s causing increased pain. Often, I can just look back at a day or a series of days that I just got off track. Don’t under estimate the impact of your daily decisions on your overall condition.

The good news is I have answers. I will rest this weary body today and look forward with great hope. My overall nerve pain is under control. My spinal cord stimulator is back into rhythm. My peace with God and His Will for my life has never been greater. And, I’m about to eat me some greens, cabbage and chicken. Praying for everyone of you.

“You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial.” 1 Corinthians 10:23

This Too Shall Pass

Posted on March 17, 2022     Leave a Comment

According to my Fitbit I finally fell asleep around 4am still with a fever. I woke up around 8:30am to take medications and fortunately had no fever. While I’m very sore all over, I no longer have a fever. I ate a small yogurt for breakfast and immediately my stomach went back to cramping. An aching body, cramping stomach, nausea, and great fatigue seem to be my only symptoms.

I went to Urgent Care earlier for a checkup. Praise God both the Flu and Covid Tests came back negative. Doctor says something viral has gotten into my system. I’m waiting now on prescriptions that should help my stomach and nausea. Lord knows that was one long painful night. I feel strongly that in 2 days I should feel much better. My pain now is no more than a 4 and most of the night it felt like a 10.

I’m still at greater peace knowing that something extra caused that insane pain. My wife Nurse Aimee keeps taking great care of me. I would love to eat a little more but my conditions just won’t let me right now. Doctor basically said that I would know I’m better the moment I truly feel better. Only then will I not be possibly contagious. Fortunately viruses can leave your system quickly even if it does leave behind temporary fatigue. Thanks so much for the prayers!

“For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

Still Waiting

Posted on March 17, 2022     Leave a Comment

Here I am 5 1/2 hours later and my fever just dropped under 100. I’ve been rotating ibuprofen and Tylenol every 2 hours. My overall pain has decreased but the fever is keeping me uncomfortable. Been awhile since I was still wide awake after 3am. I can’t believe all the other meds taken earlier don’t have me fast asleep. I’m so glad this is no longer my typical bedtime experience. #patience

“But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

Another In The Fire 🔥

Posted on March 17, 2022     Leave a Comment

It feels like I’ve been waiting days for the nonstop agony in my body to settle down. I just couldn’t understand why my total body pain kept climbing and climbing. It was the longest time in my memory of such continuous high level pain. Even after numerous medications my pain just kept escalating for the last 5-6 hours.

The longer nothing worked I believed that something extra had to be in my system. Anytime I get some bug in my system it takes things from bad to worse. For several hours my fever just wouldn’t even begin to decrease. It’s just finally come down to 100.2 after four hours of discovering I had a fever. Nothing seemed to put a dent on the havoc it’s been having on my shattered nerves.

The Covid test I took came back negative. The symptoms I’ve been having line up with possibly the flu or some 24 hour virus. I’m finally able to breathe a lot more calmly. I’m still not comfortable enough to sleep unfortunately. Lord knows I’ve been begging God for relief. I’m so appreciative of anyone who has lifted me up in my desperate time for prayer.

While I still feel terrible I’m somewhat relieved. I would much rather have a temporary bug wreaking havoc than for my chronic pain to be totally out of control with no clear reason. My pain was the highest it has ever been and the fire just wouldn’t stop within my body. I’m so grateful for God reaching into my situation and giving me some relief. Also, I’m thrilled to have possible answers for my extreme nerve pain.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2

I Don’t Always Understand

Posted on March 17, 2022     Leave a Comment

Here I am again feeling so so sick. My nerve stimulator must still be off track. I’m hoping tomorrow or Friday they can adjust it in person. Problem is even after adjustments it can take days and even up to two weeks to make a true difference. My gut tells me that I’ve likely been over stimulated again. So, I’m turning the entire unit off for a few hours break.

I just don’t understand why I’m still in such a battle. I don’t even feel misery is adequate enough when I’m in this kind of pain. My blood pressure feels like it’s through the roof. My entire body aches and shivers as if I’m roasting in fever. Yet, both of those things checked out perfect.

What’s so frustrating is I’ve really been doing everything by the book. I watch so closely my eating, sleeping and really my every step. Even still, this blinding has struck my body once again. I guess I really never knew such high level pain like this before 2015.

Once again, I’m writing to process the pain. Even more I’m hoping to keep trusting God through the pain. I’ve been by the bedside of so many people longing for comfort. However, most of those folks knew their days were short. They would just do everything possible to bear another day. They knew their best healing would be ultimate healing in Heaven.

Now, I find myself in a club I never asked to join. I find my faith being tested as my body gets rocked daily by chronic pain. I still recall thinking a few years back how I could never want to live if this level pain always stuck around . Fortunately, God does give me breaks from it. However, as always it’s hard to see beyond such present breathtaking misery.

My 12 year old came and prayed over me a little bit ago. His hands, prayers, love and faith mean so much to me. I told him I needed him to pray it out again. I’m getting off of here because the nauseating vibes and aches just won’t go away. My body feels on fire. Honestly, my nights have been really bad recently. Just ask God to flood me with his unlimited grace and mercies. I know He will hear and answer every prayer. When I’m in this kind of pain I’ve got to put my pride aside and ask others to pray for me. Goodnight I’m praying for you too!

“At night my bones are filled with pain, which gnaws at me relentlessly.” Job 3:17

5 Ways To Reduce Chronic Pain

Posted on March 12, 2022     Leave a Comment

1. Process It, Don’t Feed It

There is a difference in working through something vs wallowing in something. We don’t have to be defined by our pain. We also don’t need to be in denial of it. Process where you are in the moment, but aim towards where you want to be in the future. Get things off your chest when necessary. Find others who care and can relate. But, always look for ways you can improve your situation moving forward with hope.

2. Think Before You Act

Chronic pain is definitely something that changes your life. So, you don’t need to do anything to make matters any worse. Recognize your physical, emotional and relational limits. Monitor your physical activity daily so you don’t over do it. Don’t put yourself in situations that have proven to escalate your pain and stress. Only you know when something just isn’t gonna be good for you.

3. Focus On What You Can Do

Pain will be all you see if you don’t search hard for the blessings. Trust me, I know there are times that pain just has you in it’s vice grips. But, when possible consider what you can do and what you can change to better your situation. Otherwise, you will just live focused on your limitations. Don’t let pain steal all your joy and peace. There is always something to celebrate and aim towards doing to possibly bring a brighter day.

4. Choose A Recovery Lifestyle

There are some things you don’t just get over. Instead, God takes you through them. Choose to wake up each day and live your best life now. Discover your best new normal and do what you can to live your healthiest despite your condition. This means that you seek to keep taking the best next step in front of you. Whether that’s concerning your daily diet, exercise, spiritual disciplines, or making other healthy choices. Honestly, you need to keep studying what has helped others with your particular condition.

5. Don’t Belittle The Power Of Faith

Anything bigger than you demands the help of a big God. Your greatest brokenness should lead you towards a greater openness to God. You may feel like God is not working. But, actually God has you in His workshop. This weakness is meant to lead you towards greater faith in God and greater strength in Christ. Humanly speaking you can’t do but so much. With God leading you the sky is the limit. Thriving through pain demands that you faith walk instead of flesh walk. Faith is doing all you can do while trusting God for all you can’t do.

(2 Corinthians 12:9-11) “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

*These are just a few things God continues to teach me as I learn to live my new normal with daily chronic pain.

Your Diet Really Matters

Posted on March 11, 2022     Leave a Comment

Eating healthy is difficult for most living in this world. However, once you truly know your health depends on it you should have greater motivation. How you eat will likely determine the quality and the quantity of your life. You’ve just got to decide to make better choices one meal at a time. Your choices will impact you and those you love.

I’m one week back to clean eating and more hopeful than ever before. There is no doubting that it affects your life big time. Especially if you have aches and pains you’re battling daily like myself. Especially if you have underlying health issues that are only ignited further by what you put in your body.

You can exercise all you want as we all should strive to do. But, what you eat will always impact your overall health. This has been a hard truth for me to swallow. But, deep inside I’m glad that my chronic pain forced this lifestyle upon me. This way of living not only helps my pain, but gives my life much greater hope looking forward.

I’m posting these words not to preach, but to encourage you forward. If you know something needs to change make the necessary changes. I prayed and prayed for God to heal my body. God answered that prayer by giving me some ways to improve the quality of my life. There’s no need to look for other solutions if you’re ignoring the answers God has given you. So, don’t keep saying “I know I need to do this or that.” Choose to wake up tomorrow and make the best choices possible one day at a time.

“I CAN do all things THROUGH CHRIST who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

Too Much To Handle Alone

Posted on March 9, 2022     Leave a Comment

Well, I didn’t get to sleep until after 3am this morning. So, when I got up to take my morning medications my body was definitely struggling. I was still looking forward to getting my spinal cord stimulator adjusted at noon today. Unfortunately, the adjuster reached out to inform me that appointment couldn’t happen. I’m fact, they can’t adjust my stimulator in person until this Friday.

While I was definitely happy about getting extra rest. I wasn’t sure what the day would bring my way. I pretty much slept until around 2pm. When I went to take my shower I felt things were improving concerning my overall pain. Then, like lightening in a bottle my body felt on fire head to toe. When that happens I can’t process anything well. All I know is it feels like flames inside my body.

This experience definitely brought me to my lowest point. I just couldn’t believe that things were only getting worst. However, the more I processed things I knew this was 100 percent nerve pain. So, I called and spoke to my stimulator adjuster.

Around 5pm she told me to turn off my stimulator for at least 3-4 hours. Then, if I felt okay after that turn it back on at just half the strength I normally have running within me. It appears this is a common thing with many of her stimulator patients. What your nerves could handle a year ago might not be good for them now. These nerve like impulses can overload your system over time.

Based on my past experiences, I definitely felt like my nerves were being over stimulated. So, I turned off my stimulator over 5 hours ago. In less than two hours the insanity of nerve pain drastically decreased. However, quickly you start feeling other pains the stimulator had been covering up.

I’m back in the bath just waiting on God to settle this storm. I feel very optimistic that we’ve found the root of my greatest problem. I will turn my unit back on either late tonight or early morning. I want to make sure that my nerves don’t get overloaded again. My representative said it can take up to 24 hours to get the overload out of my system.

Every time I have an episode like I had today it’s like I’m in a really bad dream. When you have absolutely no control over your body it’s very frightening. However, these same fears are what God continues to use to elevate my faith. All in one day I experienced rest, peace, chaos, heartache, torment, and now lots of hope about my situation.

I know everyone on here has something in your life that has totally overwhelmed you. In fact, sometimes you feel like it has ruined your life. Trust me, I can relate to all your human thoughts and emotions. I’ve been doing a lot of deep thinking lying flat on back.

However, let’s admit it that this is where God becomes real for us. You know, when we can’t fix or change a thing. When all we we can do is look up and shoot prayers up. That’s where God becomes real in the midst of our brokenness. It’s there if we let Him God picks us up and holds us together. God assures us that we won’t fight any battle alone. He will always be there for us and with us. He will always give us peace and help us overcome our greatest fears. I’m going to bed tonight knowing I am an overcomer. Knowing that in Christ I can always find peace and victory.

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NLT

God Has His Reasons

Posted on March 8, 2022     Leave a Comment

There’s no denying that certain levels of adversity get the wheels churning in your mind. Trust me, I’ve experienced it firsthand so many times. All day long I’ve been in the vice grips of pain and discomfort. The only comfort I can find physically is when I’m sleeping or in the tub. Unfortunately, I’ve been wide awake all day long just waiting for bedtime.

In the meantime, I’ve just been trying to win the battle going on in my mind. This pain has taken me back in time to a very dark season. And, while the devil seeks to use this season as proof that I’m far from healed. God keeps telling me to reflect back on all He has done before.
The devil seeks to scream out words like hopeless and it’s always gonna be this way. God keeps saying just hold on another breakthrough is on the way. Remember, when you thought that the last time.

Now, I’m believing that God will not waste my pain. I’m believing that me choosing to share my battle will help someone else through their battle. Sometimes, life just knocks you down and leaves you barely breathing. Your prayers become whispers. In fact, you have to rely on the prayers of others because you can barely pray.

While I can’t say that I’ve enjoyed any part of this misery. I can say I feel God’s strength rising within me. I can feel the genuine prayers of others who care about me. Now, I’ve just got to keep holding on to the hope that will come from those prayers. Thanks from the bottom of my heart if you’ve prayed for me at any time. Trust me my story is far from over.

Sometimes, I believe we just have to be reminded of our brokenness. We may think we have overcome something. Then, God reminds us He has just been holding us together the whole time. It’s like we all take turns in tough seasons. Yet, for any believer we know we always have hope and God always has a purpose.

Hopefully, here shortly I will get another great night of sleep. Tomorrow at noon I will be getting my spinal cord stimulator adjusted. There’s definitely a lot of electricity running through my body. Sudden sounds and movement without warning flood nerve pain from me feet into my face. I know things are just very out of whack and I’m sure they can be settled down once again.

I do want to say that my wife is a complete angel. She has carried me so many times through similar valleys. She basically helps me with anything possible all the time. From filling my tub to fixing me the next anti-inflammatory meal. Tonight’s meal was the best combo yet on the taste buds. She fixed salmon, Brussel Sprouts and fresh pineapple. This concludes day 3 of nothing but healthy eating and drinking. God bless you all and whatever you may be facing yourself. Goodnight 🙏

“O Lord, you have sent this storm upon him for your own good reasons.” Jonah 1:14

Lord Help My Unbelief

Posted on March 7, 2022     1 Comment

I really don’t want to make this post right now. Especially, since I know I’m once again in a very low place. But, I’m trusting God’s greater plans. Many of you know I’ve battled a long time with major chronic pain. Well, for some reason that battle has returned and hopefully only stays a little while.

Anyone who has found themselves lying in a bed of pain and uncertainty can relate to my present feelings. Even though I’ve seen miracle after miracle my heart still ponders the “what next”. This intense pain in my lower back is way too familiar. The nerve pain it pours throughout my body knocks the air out of my sails. I find myself praying harder and having to trust God bigger.

Major health issues can be very frightening. Especially when healing usually takes time. Remember, God can heal you and ultimately has the final say about you. These are easy words to say, but it takes faith to believe healing will come. So, here I am again Lord trusting you. I will do all that I can while trusting you for everything I can’t.

I’ve already kicked my anti-inflammatory diet into four wheel drive a few days ago. I’ve been resting my body as much as possible the last few days. I’m getting my spinal cord stimulator adjusted this week asap. I’m asking each of you to pray for my breakthrough healing once again. Also, know I’m praying for you too!

“I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” Mark 9:24

My Pain Tribe Understands

Posted on March 5, 2022     2 Comments

Here I am wrapping up the ending of another blessed birthday. All I feel like doing is getting some desperately needed rest. Yet, God is telling me it’s these times especially I need to write something to share. In fact, I need to say what anyone who battles with chronic pain already knows. Pain doesn’t care what the occasion, it comes and goes whenever it pleases.

I pretty much rested in my bed the entire day. I was hoping that approach would strengthen my body and mind before tonight’s birthday gathering. However, my body just wouldn’t cooperate with my wishes. My pain has been constant all day long. And, it has only increased by the hour throughout the evening.

For those who can identify you know the disappointment it brings with it. In fact, you even feel the disappointment it brings others around you. You’re not trying to complain or be the grumpiest person at the party. However, you just can’t hide certain levels of pain. Eventually, it exposes you in every possible way.

So, once I got home later tonight. I did what I’ve had to do so much the past few weeks. I soaked in a hot tub full of epsom salt. I’ve been battling physically, mentally and emotionally all evening. No matter how hard I tried there was nothing I could do to run away the pain.

Laying here on my side just waiting on my muscle relaxers to help me rest. Fortunately, I know I’m back on track when it comes to my own personal recovery choices. I know from lots of experience that better days will come. Yet, any time you feel this way on your birthday it naturally plays with your mind. It just further confirms that your pain has changed your life. But, time has proven by faith you will always make it through the day.

This was my first birthday without my dad living on earth. Man, he had to be helped by God to smile so much at last year’s birthday celebration. And, if I were talking to my dad right now about my pain. I can hear his voice saying the following. “Son, that’s just the way life is sometimes. Sometimes the only strength you can depend on is His strength.” Okay dad, I will continue to take your advice.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

*The pic below is dad at my birthday party just 2 1/2 months before his earthly departure to Heaven.

Back To The Basics

Posted on March 1, 2022     Leave a Comment

Well, I’ve really been on the struggle bus lately. Especially in the evenings I’ve been back to having to live in the tub. Most who know my chronic pain story know this used to always be my way of life. In fact, for at least 3-4 years straight I spent 90 percent of my life in a bed or bath. I’m talking 12-14 hours a day in the bed. Then, 6-8 hours a day in the tub.

Now, my body has actually done a lot of healing over time. My spinal cord stimulator still makes a huge difference. But, any time I quit living a consistent recovery lifestyle my entire body crumbles. If not for my medications, I would never be able to sleep or get any relief. Fortunately, I do have answers I’ve just got to apply the lessons I’ve learned.

Sadly for awhile now I’ve not been eating or drinking the right stuff for me. Eating nothing but junk food has once again been my downfall. Seeking to use a caffeinated energy supplement nearly everyday has come with a price. Not walking or exercising has become a daily norm for me. Even keeping myself fully hydrated seems like a distant memory. Even my sleeping habits have been all out of whack with no consistency.

Fortunately, I know things can quickly turnaround. So, I’m running back to the basics that have brought me so much relief the last few years. Today, I went walking strategically for the first time in a long time. Plus, I didn’t intake any caffeine. Now, starting tomorrow I’ve got to keep making wiser choices. Living with a recovery lifestyle is continuing to the next right step.

I’ve already asked my wife to hide all the Little Debbie’s and Cookies in the house. Tonight, I plan to get in the bed much earlier than normal. I find that with all my nerve damage establishing a healthy consistent routine is critical. My body only allows me so many hours daily. I know if I just get back to what I know works my current pain issues will change. I encourage you my friend to keep taking the next right step. Do all that you can do while trusting God for everything you can’t.

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

How I Feel Right Now

Posted on February 23, 2022     Leave a Comment

Tonight, I’m feeling very out of sorts. My nerve pain has reared its ugly head quite a bit recently. It’s really hard to prevent something that can easily be flared by activity, eating, drinking or stress. But, somehow I’ve had way more good days than bad over the past year.

When I get this way it still makes me feel absolutely terrible. It steals all my confidence in “myself.” It knocks the joy right out of me. It makes me feel like everything is broken and can’t be fixed. Fortunately, I’ve learned it’s just feelings ignited by my broken nervous system.

While I may never like this thorn in my flesh. I can’t deny it’s value for God’s kingdom. One, it keeps me humbly walking with the Lord. Two, it makes me realize my total dependence upon the Lord. Thirdly, it makes me more compassionate towards others who struggle with life altering stuff. Fourthly, it makes it impossible for me to get the glory for anything accomplished. Overall, I’ve just seen how God continues to use it to get me and my ministry wherever He wants it to be.

It’s perfectly normal for this kinda stuff to disrupt your life. None of us like suffering or hardships. Yet, there is no denying God uses these things powerfully if we let Him. There are times you need to kick and scream in a safe environment. You also need to be reminded that God doesn’t plan to waste even a moment of your pain.

(Romans 8:28)(NLT) And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Understanding My Spinal Stimulator

Posted on September 25, 2021     3 Comments

After three years of having my St Jude spinal cord stimulator implanted. I’m smiling bigger than ever before. Trust me, it takes quite awhile to understand how it works and how to feel it working at a maximum level. I have permanent nerve damage from my lower back all the way down through both feet. I can’t tell you how many seemingly endless days of pain I’ve endured in the past. However, my life has definitely changed for the better in recent days.

Now, I always seek to live a recovery lifestyle. I typically watch closely what I do, eat or drink. I make sure I get adequate sleep and exercise. But, I also rely on my spinal cord stimulator. Let me try to explain in my words how it helps.

First, in my case wires were implanted halfway down my spine. Then, I have implanted a battery that doesn’t ever have to be recharged. The battery is underneath skin on my right side. Together this battery and wires send messages to my nervous system. In fact, somehow they keep my nerve pain from becoming insane.

There are two types of programs I can use at any time. First, there is a program called tonic. The tonic program continually massages my lower back, legs and feet all at once from within. Imagine having a tens unit except it’s able to run inside your nerves. Yes, with just a few clicks on my iPhone control. I can run this internal tonic pulse and get some much needed breakthrough pain relief.

Now, honestly the reason I got this unit was for it’s other program called burst technology. Using the tonic requires that you lay very still as you feel ever pulse running through your body. But, with burst you feel nothing except for any relief it gives. Somehow, once you get the stimulator dialed in correctly using burst. This unit drastically reduces your nerve pain.

Unfortunately, this is very hard to explain in just one article. Basically, it usually takes several adjustments with a stimulator professional before things work great. The more I learn how this device works. The more I Iearn how to use it.

I use the burst technology setting all the time. My unit is set to run just 30 seconds every 15 minutes. Somehow, this gives me the relief I need and doesn’t over stimulate my nerves. It has zero side effects and I never feel it when it’s running.

My recent stimulator adjustment brought another huge breakthrough. Somehow, through a device my stimulator representative uses. She is able to map out my body’s needs and tolerance level. It was recently discovered that my body can tolerate three times as much power flowing through my stimulator now versus before.

My nerves have always been super sensitive. Yet, it appears that my body has done a lot of healing since my three back surgeries. Scar tissue has formed allowing my stimulator to run at a much higher level than before. So, now my stimulator is able to give me three times as much help than before. It has been a long journey getting to this point.

Talking about this stimulator can sound very intimidating at first. But, it’s just like many things it’s a learning process. If you or someone you love gets one of these units. Don’t expect instant results. However, if you have severe nerve pain know that it can help you. You’ve just got to take one step at a time.

I remember three years ago not being sure what I was doing. But, time has revealed I made the right decision. Getting this device implanted was life changing. Miraculously it keeps my nerves in check. I’m learning daily how to better get the most out of it. Typically, it just does it’s thing while I get back to a much greater quality of life.

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” Ephesians 3:20

Burst technology you don’t feel.

I’m Not There Anymore

Posted on August 26, 2021     1 Comment

It’s actually been a couple years since I’ve blogged consistently about my life altering pain. Before, I lived with day and night torture from sun up to sun down. I spent over four years straight just trying to remain sane through the pain. After countless doctors appointments, surgeries, shots, counseling and daily physical therapy. I really didn’t think I could get any better without an absolute miracle.

This morning I looked back at one of my nerve wrecking post from days gone by in extreme pain. Within seconds my heart ached as I remembered the constant pain I use to endure. Honestly, I really wondered if I could ever smile consistently again. Yes, I was trying my best to walk by faith. But, sometimes all you can see is what’s appears to be wrecking your life. I was a nervous wreck for sure at that time.

Praise God, I’m not there anymore. Yes, I still battle limitations and anxiety related to my permanent nerve damage. But, I am so far beyond where I used to be. I wake up each day knowing I am so blessed. God continues to rebuild my life. Yes, I’m weaker in some ways. Yet, I’m so much stronger in many other ways because of my painful journey.

Now, I don’t know where life may find you right now. But, please be assured that God is still in control. You can get stronger and God can heal you further. You just need to choose to believe that God has a purpose for your pain. Everyday, choose to put your little hand in God’s big hand. Daily keep doing all that you can while trusting God to do all that you can’t. God will take you further than you can take yourself. I’m praying for you and God is with you.

“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31

Is Your Pain Running You Down?

Posted on August 15, 2021     1 Comment

After a wonderful relaxing week with my wife. I came back home this past Thursday. Honestly, I got off of a cruise ship and entered a battleship. So many people going through so much. Covid which appeared to be sleeping reared it’s ugly head more than ever before. I’ve spent the past few days visiting folks who are battling for their life. Many others are just battling with life.

Unfortunately, my body is really starting to give me fits. Whether it be my diet, stress, busyness or just traveling. All of these things have proven over time to ignite my neurological condition. Once again my nerve pain has me uncomfortable and back sharing with you.

I’ve done so well for so long that I can hardly stand feeling this way anymore. I really want to believe at times that I don’t still have a chronic pain issue. I want to move on with my life and leave the past behind. But, the pain always finds a way to run me down and tell me “not so fast mister.”

Just like anyone who battles chronic pain or a chronic illness. I want out of this group and I want to be all better. However, we don’t always get what we want. Sometimes we have to accept the reality of our health condition. Then, we need the support of others to overcome our pain and limitations.

For this very reason God led me to start this Faith Walking page a few years back. I also host a “Faith Walking” support group. We meet every 3rd Thursday of the month 6:30pm @ Refuge Church. The address is 203 Eddie Chasteen Dr, Walterboro SC 29488.

If you battle chronic pain or a chronic illness we would love for you to join us this Thursday 6:30pm at Refuge Church of Walterboro. Everyone in this group understands how these struggles change your life. So, please know that you don’t have to walk alone. We pray you will join us if you could use the support.

(Ecclesiastes 4:9-10) Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

I Won’t Forget My Tribe

Posted on August 14, 2021     Leave a Comment

It’s been quite awhile since I posted on this page. In fact, it’s been many months since I discussed my own chronic pain journey. For the most part that’s a good thing. On the other hand, I don’t ever want to forget those who live with chronic pain. I lived in that extreme valley far too long to waste my pain.

Overall, I’ve been doing very well. I truly feel like I’m living my best new normal. Three years ago, I still wondered if I could experience a greater quality of life. After all, I had so many shots, surgeries, physical therapy sessions, and medical appointments. None of those things mixed with lots of hard work was changing anything.

I really don’t think it was any one thing God used to increase my further healing of mind, body, and soul. One, I’ve learned and accepted my new limitations. Two, I’ve learned I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Thirdly, I’ve learned that what I eat or drink can definitely increase my body’s inflammation. Fourthly, I’ve learned that unnecessary stress can always escalate my condition. Finally, I’ve learned God never wants to waste an ounce of my pain. God wants my pain to link me purposely with people like you.

I don’t know where life finds you right now. I do know God is there to help those who seek Him wholeheartedly. So many nights in the past my pillow was flooded with tears of sadness. All I chose to do was to keep taking the next God led step. I did all I could do while trusting God for all I couldn’t. Now, I’m seeing God work His miracles in my life daily.

I can’t wait until I have time to fully publish the book God keeps putting in my heart. You will read many never shared before journal entries. You will see how the same God who helped me can help you. You will hear how pain changed my life. Then, how God changed my perspective, peace, comfort and faith.

Just know I’m praying for each of you battling with chronic pain. I know it can hurt so bad and make you feel so low. But, God is still good. Don’t doubt for a moment that you’re hopeless. Keep your little hand in God’s big hand. God will take you through and to a brighter tomorrow. I may have to still face my pain daily. But, I’ve learned how to celebrate with peace, purpose and victory.

“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31

A Rare Rough Night

Posted on April 10, 2021     Leave a Comment

Anyone who has followed my pain journey long knows I’ve had a lot of rough nights in the past. It used to be that the only time I felt any relief was in my sleep. Night after night felt like a pain driven nightmare. Back then my prayers seemed like whispers. I really began to think nothing would ever change. All I could do is hold on to faith.

Fortunately, God proved my gut feelings wrong. Somehow, some way my life slowly turned around two years ago. Typically, my pain is usually bearable. I just have to live mindful of my condition. This requires living a recovery lifestyle, watching my diet and staying ahead of the pain.

Tonight has not been a good pain night. My entire body is flooded with nerve pain. I feel miserable and can’t wait for things to settle down. But, this unexpected flare up reminded me how far God has brought me. Praise God, most nights are no longer like this one. Maybe, I needed the reminder to remember God’s goodness!

“The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.” Psalm 126:3

Take Up Your Cross

Posted on April 3, 2021     Leave a Comment

I’m typically in bed by at least 10pm every night. I’m generally asleep at the latest by midnight. Usually my nighttime medications help me fall asleep sometime in that window of time. However, tonight has been one of those rare occasions. Here it is 7am and I’ve not slept a wink all night.

Not really sure what the biggest reason is for my struggle to sleep. I’ve not slept great the last few nights. I have been way too busy mentally all week. A whole lot has been continually on my mind and in my prayers. I’m also a preacher who has done everything I can to prepare for multiple Easter services.

These days I feel like I have to wear a lot of different hats. However, my health really limits how much weight I can actually carry on my shoulders. I find that periodically you need to have these seasons. Times that force you to take deep breaths and revaluate your approach to life.

I believe most people feel out matched in this day and time. It may look different in each of our lives. But, we each have a cross to bear. Just like Jesus we have to strive to stay clean and close to our Heavenly Father. We’ve got to keep taking the next right step following Jesus with every step.

“Then he Jesus to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow me.” Luke 9:23

Limits Don’t Define You

Posted on March 13, 2021     Leave a Comment

When you see this video you just see an 11yr old boy having normal fun. When I see this young man riding what he calls “Rolling Thunder” I see the power of God at work. My youngest son Asher is one of the sweetest kids I know. However, he faces numerous physical, emotional, and mental challenges. He struggles with learning, countless phobias and pretty much anything physically challenging.

He’s been told the only sport he could ever excel in would be swimming. He’s never been able to ride a bike or even run like an average boy. He has gone to countless therapists and has come a long way. To him just being able to enjoy this rolling bike excites him so much.

Therefore, it makes me and God smile to watch him roll downhill with a true feeling of freedom. As he told me before “Daddy I’m just the way God made me.” Don’t measure your progress based on what you can’t do. Celebrate what with only God’s help you can do. Your limitations will not hinder God’s expectations for your life.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28

Just A Tough Day

Posted on March 11, 2021     Leave a Comment

I woke up today in quite a fix. It was all I could do to get out of my bed. Sadly, it’s nothing that ever takes me by total surprise. I knew my nervous system was out of whack. I knew that nothing would be easy for me today.

Anyone who has battled long with chronic pain knows what I mean. It is such an unpredictable life disrupter. You can feel completely fine one moment. Then, complete at its mercy the next. The pain can be paralyzing and so deflating. You lose confidence in doing anything when the pain is blinding.

Fortunately, these days don’t always repeat themselves. Yet, in the moment you just wonder how long your condition will hold you hostage. No matter how long you’ve been dealing with struggles. You never get used to feeling so low, heavy hearted and overwhelmed.

My greatest confidence often comes from the past. Remembering how many times God has calmed the storm. Recalling time and time when things were even worst. Yet, God made a way every time I didn’t feel I could carry on. God has been so faithful time and time again. So, I will trust God again for my strength, protection, direction comfort and relief.

“Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am faint; heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony.” Psalm 6:2

Pain Connects Us

Posted on March 8, 2021     Leave a Comment

Last night and really all day my lower back pain has been constant. Fortunately, God gave me the grace and strength to preach two outdoors services. I’ve learned how to put mind over the matter when necessary. But, eventually the pain rushing through my body like a tornado threatens everything. It affects me physically, mentally, emotionally and relationally.

However, I sincerely mean it when I say “Thank you God for my pain.” Yes, even the pain that runs so deep at times it paralyzes me. Yes, even the pain that at times steals my joy and keeps me uncomfortable. Yes, even the pain that used to keep me up all night. Yes, even the pain that has made me cry a river many times in the past.

You see, without my pain I couldn’t relate to your pain. Without being in the fire I couldn’t relate to how it feels under fire. My pain gives me compassion for the hurting. It gives me humility towards others instead of puffed up pride in myself. It connects my heart to other’s hearts. Why? Because it takes pain to understand pain.

If we allow God to use our pain for His glory. Our pain will become God’s greatest platform instead of our greatest excuse. It will allow us to more effectively comfort and minister to others. While pain has many different languages. Pain puts us all on level ground in need of God and each other. I’m grateful for my pain in that respect.

“ He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”
2 Corinthians 1:4

It Doesn’t Have To Make Sense

Posted on March 6, 2021     Leave a Comment

I understand what’s it’s like to have a chronic condition that can take you down without a moments notice. Honestly, I can’t lift over 5 pounds and it not give me fits. I can’t stand or sit for over an hour and not hurt like crazy. I can’t handle half of what I once could mentally or physically before my nerve damage. After 5 1/2 years of this constant realization I’ve had to accept my new normal.

For reasons I do and don’t understand God has allowed this melting pain. I used to just fight with it. Now, I just let God fight for me. I seek to control everything I can. Then, I have to trust God with everything I can’t. My chronic pain is a constant disruption to most of my plans. But, I still believe wholeheartedly it has been allowed for God’s greater plans.

So, don’t worry about what people think about you. Don’t think you can fill explain your condition to others who have not experienced it themselves. Let go and let God lead your heart. And He will turn your pain into a platform for His glory. Recognize your limits, but understand your condition doesn’t limit God.

“O LORD, you have sent this storm upon him for your own good reasons.” Jonah 1:14

Need Some Relief From Your Chronic Pain?

Posted on March 3, 2021     Leave a Comment

Let me begin by saying that anything I’m about to share has been proven. It has proven to at least help reduce inflammation in your body. To keep those of us who are already one degree away from boiling stay sane. If you battle daily with inflammation in your body you need to listen. If you know somebody else that does you need to share this truth.

Many of you know that I battle with severe nerve damage due to a lower back injury. This pain when it reaches it’s highest point doesn’t just ache a little bit. If it gets out of hand it consumes every part of my body from my feet into my face. I used to think I was going crazy, but thank God I learned over time how to at least keep things manageable.

Over two years ago I started what is called the elimination diet. On that diet I only eat mainly lean meats, fruits, nuts, veggies, and beans. I definitely stay away from high levels of caffeine and sugar. Both of those things have proven time and time again to be my kryptonite. Anyway, with the elimination diet and exercise I lost over 40 pounds. But, most of all I got my chronic pain much more under control.

Sure, I have to monitor my overall stress load, sleeping habits, and even exercise. But, nothing changed my life more than a change in my diet. Every time I think my diet can’t be helping me that much. God proves that it has certainly been a key to my miracle breakthrough. Trust me, once you’ve going through Hell for nearly four years. You can’t help but see your blessing once the storm is calmed.

Now, there are two things I know have a HUGE impact on anyone’s chronic pain. Those two things are Caffeine and Sugar. Just this past week I learned that lesson the hard way again. The past two week’s I got a lot more liberal with my diet. Once my body got a taste of sugar I found myself stuffing my face with goodies at least once a day. Then, last Thursday reality knocked me down again.

Last Thursday I didn’t eat anything crazy. I had one serving of Lasagna , a salad, and very little otherwise. But, I did drink one cup of coffee, one medium sized Red Bull, and one can of coke zero. Realize, these are not things I drink ever on a consistent basis. But, on that day I desperately needed the boost to concentrate.

I went to bed that night with no problem. Then, less than two hours after sleeping my body went crazy. You see, my nerves are so sensitive I can feel anything that contaminates the body. For at least three hours I felt out of my mind. My entire neurological system was going haywire. All I could do was pray, take all the medications possible, and wait on the storm to pass.

At that time, I just started drinking as much water as my body can consume per hour. The next few days were tough. But, all I did was go back on my diet. I started back drinking at least 100 ounces of water daily. I made sure I’ve not had anything with a high level of sugar. I’ve not had even one ounce of caffeine in 5 days.

Just like I’ve experienced in the past my nerve pain once again became bearable and under control. There is no way anyone reading my future book will be able to deny the impact of diet in my healing. Once you’ve spent four years mainly in a bed or bath you’re just so grateful. You’re so thankful for some answers and hope for a better tomorrow.

Now, the only reason I’m writing this is for that one person who needs the same hope facing their chronic pain. If you’re hurting enough you should be all ears right now. I’m telling you that a change in your diet will make a big difference. It won’t fix everything. But, it can definitely improve things dramatically. I feel it has improved me at least 50-75 percent.

SO, please hear me when I tell you all that caffeine and sugar is just feasting on your body’s inflammation. You’re just pouring gasoline on an already blazing fire. You need to make a change if you hope to see a change. It won’t fix things overnight. But, for me even one week made a massive difference.

If you want to recover as much as possible. You have to be willing to live a recovery lifestyle. Take one right step at a time. Eliminate things that you know you shouldn’t eat or do. Let the hopeful relief from that pain push you to make the drastic changes necessary. I pray this post helps at least one person who needed to hear it. God bless you as you walk by faith through you chronic pain.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Philippians 4:13

God’s Not Done With You

Posted on February 27, 2021     Leave a Comment

Apart from a miracle I will be fighting with my body in some way for the rest of my life. I try not to dwell on it or feed it. I try not to allow that to be my permanent life excuse. However, my body reminds me daily that the doctor wasn’t lying to me. I still recall him saying “Son, I don’t care who tells you anything otherwise. You will have permanent nerve damage the rest of your life.”

At first those words deflate and almost paralyze you. The good news is my glass is half full not half empty. That same doctor said I could’ve easily been paralyzed based on my MRI. And, that without my first surgery I would’ve definitely ended up in a wheelchair soon. Praise God I’m not physically paralyzed or in a wheelchair.

Even as the pain runs deep in me now. I’m highly motivated to do whatever I can while seeking to trust God with everything I can’t. I’ve had time to learn this is a daily journey not a forty yard dash. We’re always having to get our minds renewed so we can live with a renewed focus.

Everyday I will choose to get up and live my best life now. I will continue eating and drinking only things that have proven to ease my inflammation and pain. I will do what exercises I can to keep my body in the best shape possible. I will keep praying and trusting God to use this purposeful pain. There’s no doubt God uses it to keep me humble, compassionate and God dependent.

What I won’t do is accept my felt limitations. God is bigger than anything that comes our way. Whether it be adversity on the inside or outside of us. It’s in the struggle we truly learn how to faith walk. As we learn to approach God daily with a childlike faith. Somehow God picks us up and carries us forward.

God has brought me so far and taught me so much. Yet, the daily struggle is very real when nothing physical comes easy. But, God has taken me this far and He will take me further. Here I am Lord once again free falling into your arms. Looking to you to finish your story for your glory in my life. I fully trust you moving forward to finish the work you started.

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” Philippians 1:6

Better Just Sore

Posted on February 26, 2021     Leave a Comment

Last night was a night I would rather forget. Every nerve in my body crashed leaving me just a shell of myself. For nearly 3 hours my heart was pounding and my body was burned within. It’s like having an outer body experience you can’t fully explain. You feel trapped inside and the nerve pain rocked me from head to toe.

While I would rather forget last night it’s critical I remember. There’s no doubt this was a byproduct of too much sugar and caffeine getting into my system. I eaten clean for so long now my body just didn’t know how to handle it. The last two weeks I’ve got more and more slack with my diet. If I ever wondered if my diet really helped that much I no longer have any diet.

I feel majorly sleep deprived and bruised all over. But, other than that I just feel some PTSD after last night’s neurological meltdown. Where would I be if God hadn’t given me answers? How have I been able to carry on all this time except by the grace of God. Last night revealed that God has been so good to me. That experience felt like Hell, but most days I’m now able to enjoy my new normal. Thanks for your prayers!

Nerves Are Fried Again

Posted on February 26, 2021     Leave a Comment

Well, I was asleep for an hour or more. Suddenly, my nervous system literally woke me up going completely crazy. Every part of my body has been constantly vibrating. The least little sound, movement and even my own voice sends me into orbit. This experience is like having an internal earthquake that is way off the charts.

When my nerves get this way there’s very little I can do. I have already thrown every bit of medication I have at this fire. All I can do now is sit up, pray and try to process my emotions. It’s one of those things you just can’t fully explain. It’s like having an internal seizure that seems to have no end. You feel trapped in your own body as you pray for the storm to calm down.

This makes three nights in a row that have been very painful. This stuff tonight makes you feel crazy. You don’t feel like yourself and definitely don’t feel in control. I’m afraid this fluid commotion has been building up for days. History has taught me certain factors that likely brought this own.

My stress level has been very high. My days have been very long. My eating habits have not been the consistently what they should be. My intake of any daily caffeine always serves as a threat. Sadly, today I drank an energy drink for the first time in a long time. I knew I was playing with fire and it could cause me to eventually crash.

There’s something about taurine, caffeine and sugar that can crash my entire nervous system. The good news is I’m calming down even as I write this for you. Also, I’m so glad I know things I can do to hopefully prevent this from happening again. So many times in the past I just felt hopeless, clueless and desperate in these moments.

Now, I know better what can get things settled back down with time. I’m drinking lots of water to flush out my system. I will stay away from sugar and caffeine. I will seek to stay away from inflammatory foods and drinks. I will get back to living a recovery lifestyle.

Sometimes you need these awakening moments to remember your reality. I can no longer just do things in a normal fashion. This is a thorn in my flesh that’s always a constant threat that my health. I’ve got to live with a new normal perspective. I need to be grateful for what I can do and actively live aware of things I shouldn’t do. Even these tough times are purposeful in God’s hands.

“So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.

Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:7-10

A Bad & Good Kind Of Pain

Posted on February 24, 2021     Leave a Comment

I’ve not had a bad day overall. Had a fairly productive day of ministry. Had a daddy night with my youngest son. I was blessed by God to be able to get up and show up. These days are definitely way better than some of my most painful days in my past.

That said I’m in a great deal of pain tonight. I’m talking about my legs aching continuously. My lower back surgical area throbbing and making me feel nauseous. It’s the type pain you can’t allow to stay on top of you for long. Fortunately, I have taken meds that I’m hopeful will help me rest within a few hours.

I absolutely hate feeling this way. In the moment, it always feels like it’s going to take me down for good. Fortunately, I’ve learned this too shall pass. I will get past this momentary madness even if it makes my heart race momentarily.

I know this because God has proven His faithfulness time and time again. It lifts my faith to remember where I used to be. It lifts my faith to know how far God has taken me. It lifts my faith to know that whatever comes my way God will take me through it. This bad, but good pain reminds me that without God’s help I could do nothing.

“I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.” Psalm 77:12

From Pain To Purpose

Posted on February 19, 2021     Leave a Comment

There was a time when all you heard about was my pain. Everyday felt like nonstop torment. Hope seem nowhere in sight. Life was just a fight for survival. The days and nights seemed endless. Only misery consumed me.

So much has changed over the past two years. God has used my pain to keep me humble. God has used my pain to strengthen my faith in Him alone. God has used my pain to give me a true understanding and compassion for others in pain. God has used my pain to accomplish things for my good and His glory. God has used my pain to teach me that miracles still do happen.

While I may still have limitations and some daily discomfort. The good in my life now far outweighs the bad. I’m back to living my new purpose while embracing my new normal. I’ve always got reason to praise God because rarely are tears pouring down my face. Before it seemed to be a frequent occurrence.

For 4 long years I thought nothing would change. All I did was keep the faith while seeking to take the next right step. I had many praying for me along the way. In God’s perfect timing I found the other side of my misery. What was once just pain is now my new found joy in the Lord.

I’ve learned that I can make it through anything with God on my side. I’ve learned God will always make a way when there seems to be no way. I’ve learned that even the things that surprise you never surprise Him. I’ve learned there are two types of pain. There is wasted pain and purposeful pain. In our hands pain is only heartache. In God’s hands it’s clay that God is molding into something beautiful.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28

P.S. I used to hold these spinal cord stimulator batteries in my hand just choosing to believe God would change things. He helped me and He will help you.

Don’t Ignore The Warning Lights

Posted on February 11, 2021     Leave a Comment

Here I go again experiencing another night in the flames of nerve pain. I really had a pretty decent day after a good night’s sleep. But, by supper time I didn’t even feel like the same person. These burning nerve sensations run from my feet all the way into my face. There’s no quick fix or running from them. Eventually my medication will help me drift off to sleep.

In the meantime, all I can do is wait and learn from my mistakes. There’s no doubt I’ve been doing way too much with my nerve condition. Too much stress, too many hours and too many possible pitfalls to mention. At least I know that recovery always starts with rest, diet, discipline, and monitoring closely my work flow.

I’m convinced our bodies are much like vehicles. When something lights up on our car dash we know it indicates something needs to be addressed. When things act up with our bodies it usually indicates something needs our attention. I hate these feelings and nights like this one. But, it’s these nights that remind me I’ve got to listen closely to my body. I’ve also got to be still and let God be God.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

Look What God Has Done

Posted on February 10, 2021     Leave a Comment

The past few nights have been very painful . Not sure what exactly has triggered my nerve pain. I have been very busy from sun up to sun down. I have been under a lot of pressure as my ministry keeps growing. Honestly, life in general has been very demanding and challenging.

Even still, God has really been helping me see all the positives. One, my pain is nothing compared to my dad’s battle with cancer. Two, my pain doesn’t compare to the emotional pain my mom carries daily caring for my dad. Three, I just know things could always be much worse. My present difficult moments are nothing compared to some of my past darkest days of pain.

I remember how all I could think about was my pain. I was taking twice the amount of medication before than now. I recall like yesterday having to rely on a cain or a walker just to take the next step. I basically lived in doctor’s office. I really couldn’t see any future with the pain blinding me day and night.

However, that was then and this is now. I can now smile and operate with a clear mind most of the time. I’m able to enjoy moments with my family and continue to minister to others. A few years ago, I didn’t think any of this would be possible. Seeing God continue to do miracles really lifts my spirits. There’s no way for anyone but God to get the glory when it comes to my God story. Even my present limitations continue to be used by God to accomplish His purpose.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28

Just Checking In

Posted on January 17, 2021     Leave a Comment

I’ve been away from social media for a few weeks. Just trying to stay focused on things that matter most. This never ending season has been tough. All you can do is keep taking the next right step. Times like these demand we walk by faith and not by sight.

You can be certain you’re not alone in your struggles. None of us can predict what tomorrow brings. None of us can makes sense of all the madness. None of us can thrive mask or no mask without God’s continued strength and guidance.

My prayer is that none of us live with a misplaced hope. Presidents, pastors, and even the best intending people will let you down. This world is full of empty promises and shattered dreams. There’s no drug, drink or man made thing that can truly fill you with lasting peace. Only in Christ will you no longer live with a God shaped void inside.

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

Another Wall To Scale

Posted on November 20, 2020     Leave a Comment

My pain has been relentless practically all day. My lower back surgical area has just stayed on fire. Nerve pain keeps flooding my body. My face has stayed on fire as the nerve sensations have no where else to roam. This gnawing sensation keeps me feeling nauseated.

Early this morning I put together a new aggressive eating plan. I’m officially back on my elimination diet. Time has proven it’s the best chance I’ve got to get back on track besides removing all unnecessary stress and prayer. So, I’m back to eating only fruits, veggies, nuts, beans, lean meats, fish and eggs. Basically I’m having to stay from all sweets, sugars, caffeine, dairy and a whole lot of other good stuff.

It’s very hard trying to eat this way especially with the holidays soon upon us. Oh, and of course I’ve got to make sure I drink at least 80 ounces of water daily. My pain is an easy motivator right now. If I don’t get this turned around soon an absolute crash is ahead.

I’m definitely not comfortable in my own skin right now. But, I know how to get through this pain. Just as important, I know I will get through this pain. I’m not freaking out inside because God has brought me through so many times before. I’ve just got to keep fighting forward knowing God is fighting for me.

When you’re in your toughest moments you can’t afford to give up. Focus on what you can do and trust in what God will do. Sometimes the battle is way bigger than you. Sometimes it’s just a testing and stretching of your faith. Keep taking the next faith step forward. God will meet your faithfulness with His faithfulness.

“To the faithful you show yourself faithful; to those with integrity you show integrity. To the pure you show yourself pure, but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd. You rescue the humble, but you humiliate the proud. You light a lamp for me. The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness. In your strength I can crush an army; with my God I can scale any wall.” Psalm 18:25-29

Finding Comfort In Pain

Posted on November 14, 2020     Leave a Comment

I understand my body is broken. I remember the doctor saying nearly 5 years ago words I never cared to hear. He said, “no matter what anyone tells you this can’t be fixed. Trust me, you have permanent nerve damage.” I wish I could say that doctor was dead wrong. However, my body keeps confirming he was telling the truth. Still it’s often a message I refuse to accept fully into my mind and heart.

This past week my nerve pain flared back up to a high level. My surgical spot has been aching often. From my legs all the way into my face I feel a sharpe, shooting sensation. It’s been much harder to ignore how sick and nauseous it makes me feel. I don’t like to write about it much anymore because I try not to feed it. Sometimes you do better putting your mind over the matter. Yet, sometimes God allows the pain so you have something to share in common with others.

Now, I will never say this pain makes my life enjoyable. Especially when it often makes anything I pursue so much harder. I have to live a constant recovery lifestyle with this thorn in my flesh. I never know when it’s going to take me down. I’m still learning to ride this roller coaster of ups and downs. Sadly, just about every emotion possible is associated with this painful mess.

Right now my pain has humbled me once again. It’s put me back on my knees realizing my desperate need for God’s help. I’m sure I thought once again that I had everything under control. God had to allow me to fall back down so through me He could be lifted up.

While my flesh tells me these days are just miserable. My faith tells me these days are most meaningful. I realize most of my spiritual growth was birthed through painful yesterday’s. I’m certain God is still using my pain today.

Don’t see your pain as only a barrier. See your pain as something God wants to use as a platform to display His greatness. In fact, it’s through your pain that you find God’s true comfort. And, then you actually have comfort to share with others.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

In This Season

Posted on October 23, 2020     Leave a Comment

God is teaching me so many things in this season. No, it’s not been fun or even enjoyable. But, I would say it’s been worth the sweat, stress and tears. Now, I’m not talking about this world’s craziness or anyone’s political views. I’m talking about what God has shown me during this time in His workshop. Here are my top three lessons during COVID-19.

First of all, God is teaching me what is truly essential. No, it’s not toilet paper, restaurants, or sports. It’s not even being able to attend some church. It’s all about my need for relationships. We need a solid relationship with Jesus to get through this tough life. We need other people in our lives to help us become all God created us to be. We need faith, family and friends. But, if all I can choose is one I would have to pick Jesus every time.

Secondly, I’ve learned that everybody thinks differently. I don’t have to agree with someone to love someone. I don’t have to even like someone to love them. These times often reveal the worst in us. Of course, I wish we all agreed but that’s just not possible this side of Heaven. We all must learn how love each other unconditionally. After all, that’s exactly how God loves us and calls us to love one another.

Thirdly, God is teaching me how to truly wait on him. All of us have been guilty of wanting this chaos to be behind us. Well, I’ve concluded that’s not the right perspective. God teaches us way more in the valley than He does on the mountain. We have to learn how to wait on God and trust God no matter where life finds us. Even when it hurts and even when it takes us out of our comfort zone.

Now, none of these things are easy to do. Yet, I’m glad God is still teaching me a better way. A better way to see things through the eyes of faith. A better way to experience God’s peace even in the chaos. I’m sure God is teaching all of us new things. Hopefully, He has our full attention by now.

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” Philippians 1:6

The Struggle Is Real

Posted on October 23, 2020     Leave a Comment

My flesh doesn’t want to share these words with you. In fact, the devil really doesn’t want me being honest. Yet, there are many times we must get over our pride. We must be real about our feelings and fears. Our hurts, our pains and our everyday human struggles.

The past eight months have been some of the longest of my life. As a pastor, I’ve been out of my comfort zone the entire time. All I’ve known to do is wake up each day and live for God’s glory. It has been so hard watching so many bleeding inside. You want to fix things for everybody. Then, you realize that only Jesus does the saving, fixing, healing, and comforting.

This season has helped me see my many limitations. My desperate need for divine intervention. My prayer life has been forced to drastically increase. Relying on God’s love, truth and plans have become my only sure things. I’ve had to totally transition from trying to live self-dependent to constantly living Christ dependent.

I say this to assure you that you are not alone in your struggles. Anxiety, fear and depression are hovering over many of us like buzzards. Our patience has been pushed to the max as we all wait to see what happens next. Apart from Christ it would be really easy for someone to fall apart in this day and time.

The good news is even when we fall apart Christ can put us back together and hold us together. You don’t have to be perfect just forgiven. You don’t have to have all the answers you just need to trust the one who holds today, tomorrow and forever in His hands. You don’t have to pretend like you’re okay when really you’re falling apart.

I may not know all the magic words to say. There may not be a simple fix to all that you’re going through. Even still, I know that hope begins and continues through Jesus Christ. Everything and everyone may disappoint you. However, Jesus will always be there, never let you down and will pick you up regardless of how far you’ve fallen. I pray that you know that Jesus is only a prayer a way.

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” James 4:10

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

Pain Pain Go Away

Posted on October 20, 2020     Leave a Comment

As most of you know I don’t write much these days about my pain. Only when pain compels me to share my story. For at least 4 years straight pain consumed my life. Fortunately , I really do have more good days than bad now. But, recently my pain has reared it’s ugly head again. Nights are the absolute worst when my body aches so deeply.

My increased pain is usually a combination of many things. Busyness, stress, unhealthy diet, not enough rest, and definitely cooler weather. All of these things can melt my fragile nervous system. I always know my nerve damage is flaring badly when my surgical spot feels like I’ve been kicked repeatedly. Also, my hands and feet start breaking out due to my dermatitis.

All I can do in these times is lay on my side or in a hot bath. I’ve been living on my heating pad recently as it does calm my pain. Thank God for pain meds and muscle relaxers. I usually deal with heavier pain every night for at least a few hours. However, the last few days I’ve been living and breathing discomfort.

Tomorrow morning I will go back to Total Wellness for a medical massage. Not just anyone can work on my back due to the surgical implants. I can barely even touch my lower back surgical area right now. Getting that pain spot to decrease will change things in my entire body. I’m confident that God will calm my flaming nerves once again. Why? Because He always has and always will pull me through. He will do the same for you my friend.

“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.” Psalm 46:1

Things Have To Change

Posted on October 9, 2020     Leave a Comment

For 7 1/2 months straight I’ve been going and going. Ministry has never felt more demanding. Time has never felt so fleeting. My body has been screaming for my attention the last few weeks. I’m well aware that I’ve got to make some life adjustments ASAP.

Sure, I could justify most of my steps. I do very little for self-pleasure. In fact, day and night I’m doing what I can to touch others. However, the demand on my life would be difficult for most who are healthy. But, it’s especially impossible for someone with my broken body and nervous system.

As I catch my breath I’m just trying to relax. I realize no one else is to blame for my ignorance or lack of boundaries. So, I’m owning the fact that I’ve been working too much and often ignoring my own pain. However, it can’t be ignored anymore. Most evenings I’m back to having to spend hours soaking in the tub.

I believe many can relate to my present wake up call. Sometimes we just fail to acknowledge our own humanity. We forget our limitations and ignore God’s daily warning signs. Yes, this is a tough season for many. All the more reason to live with a balance of work, rest, fun, and fellowship by faith.

Anytime things are out of order your mind and body will let you know. Sometimes we just need to be still before God. Sometimes we just need to be still period. Sometimes we just need to withdraw from all the madness and rest in the arms of Jesus. Only then can we be filled by God’s peace and have something to pour into others. I’m seeking to make every adjustment I can as I set new boundaries once again for myself.

“You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial.” 1 Corinthians 10:23

He Won’t Fail You

Posted on October 2, 2020     Leave a Comment

Tonight, my lower back is giving me a little extra grief. It seems my surgical spot is more inflamed than usual. Honestly, my pain level is no more than a 4 out of 10. There’s just enough discomfort to hinder my sleep for now.

Now, I’ve taken my normal night time medications and some extra. And I’m certain my pain will ease off soon. But, this reminds me how far God has brought me. This may not be an easy night, but it’s so far from my worst night.

Before, I would have given anything to even feel this good. Morning, day and night were filled with such misery. Life was carrying on even though I could not. Back then all I knew was pain, suffering and it appeared all hope for healing was gone.

Here I am today feeling like an absolute miracle. Even is some discomfort I feel so blessed. I no longer dread each day. God has given me so many reasons to smile, praise Him, and to just be thankful. This has taught me to trust God more. Trust His timing, His healing and His will even when things feel hopeless.

“Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Psalm 30:5

I’m Really Surprised

Posted on September 25, 2020     Leave a Comment

Well, I drove early this morning to Charleston to see my pain specialist. An hour of driving one way doesn’t sound like a big deal. But, it’s a very big deal for me even still. My wife does the driving 95 percent of time for us. When I do drive it’s typically only a few miles unless I just can’t avoid it.

The entire way to my appointment I was in a great mood. I knew deep down that I’ve never felt any better over the past five years. My doctor told me he couldn’t believe how well I’m doing. He said, “I’m really surprised you’re doing so well with your condition.” Especially since I’ve gone so long without a pain shot. I told him all I can do is smile and thank God for His blessings upon me.

I made sure he knew that it wasn’t like I just sat around and prayed. I’ve been doing anything possible to help matters. My diet, my movement, my sleep, and even monitoring my stress daily. Basically, I live with a recovery mentality from sun up to sun down. I have to do so if I hope to keep carrying on with much quality of life.

Today we’ve not reduced any medications and we’ve not increased any. They are scheduling me for a pain shot to help keep my coccyx pain under control. This cooler weather coming won’t be easy on my body. Plus this particular shot has proven to give me some relief.

For my regular daily meds I still take Neurontin, Amitriptyline, Zannaflex, and Ibuprofen. But, I have a lot of daily natural supplements that I’ve been taking for awhile. CBD caplets, Turmeric, Fish Oil, Ginger, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, Potassium, Fenugreek, Ashwagandha, Magnesium, Melatonin, Cognizin Citicoline, and a Vitamin B Complex.

Even still, nothing helps more than a positive and prayerful mindset. You have to learn to listen to your body. Don’t focus on what you can’t do, but celebrate what you can. Be honest with those around you as they can’t always see your invisible pain. Whatever you’re going through know that God is with you. He will carry you forward to brighter days.

“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31

Look What God Has Done

Posted on September 25, 2020     Leave a Comment

Tomorrow, I will go see my pain specialist. Hard to believe it’s officially been one year since my last pain shot. Based on my condition I was supposed to need at least 3 or 4 shots every year. Before, I really had no choice with my persistent pain. But, here I am still not presently scheduled for another shot.

I’ve seen many miracles since September 2015 changed my life. I’ve endured 3 different back surgeries. I used to spent most of my days in a bed, bath, or doctor’s office. I’ve gone from using a walker to walking on my own two legs. From nonstop sleepless nights to usually restful nights. From nonstop insane pain to usually under control pain. From medications that kept my mind hostage to reducing my medications over 50 percent. From 205lbs to 165lbs.

I can’t say enough about how my diet has changed my life. I may not be able to do any heavy weight lifting. I’m certainly limited when it comes to doing anything physical. However, I have my life back with family, friends and ministry. I’m at peace with my new normal. Sure, I may need a few more shots here and there. But, there’s no denying how far God has carried me.

“Be sure to fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you.” 1 Samuel 12:24

Finding The Blessings

Posted on September 19, 2020     Leave a Comment

My arms were tired. Then, I saw a man with no arms.

My legs were weak. Then, I saw a man with no legs.

My back was aching. Then, I saw a man who was paralyzed.

My heart was broken. Then, I saw a man whose heart quit beating.

My life was altered. Then I saw a man who lost his life.

My life seemed shipwrecked. Then, I realized I’m just so blessed.

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8

How Is Your Pain Now?

Posted on September 17, 2020     Leave a Comment

I’m jumping on here to give a little update. I’ve had many ask from time to time how my pain level is now. Obviously, that’s not a crazy question considering I spent nearly 5 years straight in smothering pain. Honestly, I don’t even like to think about those painful days. Certain times of reflection just put a big ole lump in my throat. So, where am I now?

First, I’m back to truly living my best life now. Of course, permanent chronic pain never leaves you the same. You can’t do many things you used to enjoy physically. It’s still not easy to sit in most positions. My wife does practically all the driving and heavy lifting of anything. However, she knows most things just aren’t worth the price we all pay when my condition flares up.

Secondly, my pain no longer defines me. It may constantly alter my life, but it’s not consuming my life. I had to quit writing about it because I realized it was feeding even more pain. Even in the dark times I’ve refrained from sharing because I knew it was best I just get relief that night. I’ve learned that even if I have a really bad night that tomorrow could be much better.

Thirdly, my diet and life adjustments prove to make the biggest difference. 2 years after losing 40 pounds that weight loss has been sustained. Now, it’s not the actual weight loss that has helped anything. It’s the fact that I do all I can to limit any caffeine and sugar intake. Anytime I eat or drink much of what you might call normal my system goes crazy. Then, I just melt physically and emotionally. However, now I know something I can always do to help things.

Trust me when I tell you these things in order. Staying away from loads of caffeine or sugar will reduce inflammation in your body. There is nothing about that to debate. I’ve tried this experiment long enough to know it is absolutely true. Drinking half your body weight in water will help in keeping your body flushed and feeling much healthier. Maintaining consistent movement throughout the day is always good for your back issues. In fact, with my nerve condition I should always be doing some daily physical therapy exercises. Finally, it is critical you reduce unnecessary stress and get adequate sleep. All of these things have proven to be the biggest medicines for helping my chronic pain.

Of course, you can’t walk through the fire without faith and prayer. I’ve not forgotten what I’ve gone through. I’ve not quit thanking God for all He has done. My body does seem overdue for another shot. I’ve been spending a lot more time in the tub lately. Even still, God has restored my mind and purpose in life.

One thing I still choose daily is to allow God to use my pain. As I’ve said before I know it’s not meant to be a crutch but God’s platform. I still have an instant compassion for those in crippling pain. I still thank God for what I can do instead of focusing on what I can’t do. Everyday I’m just glad to have reasons to smile. To not just be a burden to my wife or kids.

Anyone right now reading this experiencing breathtaking pain right now. Hear this my friend, God will help you through this valley. Take each day one step at a time. Believe that God has a purpose for your struggle. Don’t be afraid to cry or share your struggles with others. Don’t expect others who haven’t experienced your brokenness to fully understand. Know that God always understands and hears your cries for help.

No, I wouldn’t want to walk back through my most painful days. But, my pain has totally revolutionized my life and ministry. I’ve learned how to delegate, persevere, and see God’s purpose regardless of my life situations. While I’m may be weaker physically. I’m so much stronger mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. God has proven that my pain has a purpose and will have the rest of my life.

It’s okay to work through your pain. Just don’t allow yourself to wallow in it too long. Seek the support you need and ask others to pray. Most of all, keep the faith because God is working on you. You will see with time that God uses your greatest pain to take you to His greatest purpose. All this I’m sharing after walking through days I thought I could never see beyond. I still live a recovery lifestyle, but my pain is fueling God’s daily purpose for my life.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28

When You Feel So Restless

Posted on September 12, 2020     Leave a Comment

Sometimes you just find yourself restless. You may not even be able to pinpoint exactly what has you so worked up. All you know is your feelings are drowning you. If you could shutdown your mind you certainly would.

Honestly, these are the moments satan can’t wait to pounce on you. You will be tempted to do anything to just feel better. For some that may mean a few more drinks. For others that may mean smoking away your anxieties. For many it’s just doing anything to give you that momentary high you’re longing for inside.

None of us are exempt from temptation and testing in this life. There is always a battle raging within in our flesh. It can be physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual all wrapped into one. However, it’s in these moments we must recognize the enemy’s plan.

Satan tells you there is a quick fix to be found. Satan tells you to do whatever it takes to numb the pain. Satan hopes you crack in your deepest moment of vulnerability. Yet, Jesus is the only one that can give you true peace, comfort, strength and life worth living.

Sometimes you just have to tell the devil to get behind you. You may have to literally get up and run from your current situation. Most of all, you’ve got to run to Jesus. Only he can heal your bleeding heart or calm your raging storm. Trust me, I’ve called on Jesus in many dark moments. Somehow, someway He has always helped me overcome what was too overwhelming for me alone.

Jesus said, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” John 10:10

Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

If We’re Honest

Posted on September 4, 2020     Leave a Comment

No wonder everyone seems so irritable. No wonder the least little thing causes people to go crazy. One, it’s been hot enough to instantly catch on fire. Two, most of us have felt stuck in hibernation for 5 1/2 months. Three, social media reminds you of “The Three Stooges.” Four, most days keep feeling like a re-run of all the countless days before.

Most of us just don’t know what to do with ourselves in these uncertain times. We’re like fish out of water. We’ve been flipping and flopping for a long, long time. We might not all say it but we’re desperate for normalcy. Bedtime starts to become you’re most anticipated activity of the day.

Honestly, it has finally worn out it’s welcome in our house. Fortunately no one has killed anyone YET. But, we’re all just watching a crazy world that’s waiting to see what tomorrow holds. I don’t know how anyone without faith gets through such days. This season has definitely exposed our humanity. Our desperate need for God’s divine intervention. None of us have all the answers. I’m just glad I do know who still has a plan.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him,and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

We’ve All Been Contaminated

Posted on August 28, 2020     Leave a Comment

I rarely ever watch anything on television these days. If I do it’s certainly not the news. I don’t listen to the radio period. I’m not around anyone filling my ears with the latest bad news. I may get on social media an hour each day. So, you would think my chances of feeling contaminated would be a lot less.

Nope, I can still feel the chaos in the air. People fighting from left to right. People tired of hearing people fighting. People thinking about fighting somebody if they say one more word. Between COVID-19, politics, racial wars, social distancing and masks we’re all just exhausted.

Emotions are at an all time high. We all wonder the same thing deep inside. When will things go back to normal? Will things go back to normal? I’m afraid none of us want to hear the real answer to that question. I’m certain that normal is in the far distant past.

Honestly, my life has been consumed with ministry and family the past 6 months. So, I’ve really not been watching the clock or pondering this subject matter. I’ve just been seeking to encourage who I can and seek God’s will in everything I do. There’s no doubt that brokenness creates a new level of openness.

Our family of six definitely feels the current of a chaotic culture too. All we can do is pray for one another. All we can do is take one day at a time. We have to trust that God has a bigger plan for all that is happening. Even in the eye of this seemingly never ending storm. I truly believe God is wanting to do something new in each of our hearts.

So, I’m asking God to keep teaching me. I pray my faith keeps growing along with my gratefulness. Maybe we all will learn to cling to Jesus more when this is all over. After all, He really is the only non-changing factor. Everything else and everyone else is bound to let us down. Thankfully I can say that with Jesus my faith and family have stayed anchored. Jesus can anchor you as well. Just invite Him into your heart to be your savior and Lord.

“This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.” Hebrews 6:19

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

When This Is Over

Posted on August 16, 2020     Leave a Comment

It’s been 5 months since the world quit turning as usual. Our churches, schools businesses and even sports have all been stopped in their tracks. Our very way of life has been changed in so many ways. Amidst all the conflict, chaos and fight to return things back to normal. God help my heart never return back to normal.

When this season is over Lord may my heart stay open to your will. I’m sorry for all the times I thought I was in control. I’m sorry for all the times I got caught up in the ways of this world. I’m sorry for all I took for granted that you so graciously allowed. Lord help me not to waste this season you’ve allowed for your own good reasons.

I pray many others will join me in this resolve. Help us to turn from every wicked way and to wholeheartedly seek your way. Help us to surrender every second you allow us to breathe from this moment forward. Help us to not ignore all the warning signs you’ve sent our way. Have your way in us, through us, and despite us. When this is over may none of us ever be the same as before.

“O LORD, you have sent this storm upon him for your own good reasons.” Jonah 1:14