40 Day- Day 13- Trapped In My Body
I’m not losing faith or hope in what God can do. However, there is some panic setting into my heart. What if this never changes this side of heaven? Will I continue suffering to this degree? Could it get even worse than what I’m feeling right now? Everyone of these possibilities frighten me to the core.
Every morning I wake hoping my body feels different than the day before. Every morning I wake I’m still very disappointed. The last few mornings have been as painful as ever. It doesn’t matter how long I’ve rested or taken it easy. My intense pain and itching are back in rare form. Something is not covering my pain like it was before. There is no price I wouldn’t pay to be cured of this madness.
I truly feel like a prisoner inside my own body. Everyday I lay on my side in the bed for 12-14 hours. For further relief I stay in the tub everyday for 3-5 hours. At best I have 5-6 hours of actual life. Basically every second of my life is built around my pain. I can’t get it out of my mind when it has such a painful impact on my body. I’m praying and praying for some relief!
“Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” Matthew 19:26