When you have chronic pain you tend to live on a constant merry go round. You wake up in pain. You go through the day in pain. When you try to lay down at night to sleep your pain speaks even louder. The main theme is your battle is never ending.
It was after 2am before my exhausted nerve wrecked body allowed me to fall asleep. Unfortunately, my legs just wouldn’t quit throbbing in pain. Even after taking nighttime meds and spending almost 4 hours in the tub. I know it’s hard to believe that just being seated for nearly 3 hours for my son’s band awards ruined me. Anytime, I face a physical challenge mixed with high emotion my nervous system typically crashes.
I’ve come to expect this merry go round of pain. Life has been this way for so long. I can barely remember when things were any different. When I didn’t have to account for this life disrupting pain every minute. Sleep is still the only time I get to sometimes fully escape the pain. I always look forward to bedtime and falling asleep as quick as possible.
Even as my entire lower body continues to vibrate God keeps my heart settled. I’m learning to embrace this new normal. I’m more focused on what I can do not just what I can’t. I praise God for the good He does even when we’re afraid or sad. I’m so thankful that one day this life filled with pain and struggle will be over for all Jesus followers. Until then God will give us the peace, purpose, strength and faith to keep marching forward.
“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” Revelation 21:4