FAITH WALKING Category
Touch Through Me
Posted on May 21, 2023 Leave a Comment
The longer I live the more life humbles me. I feel that is happening in a good way. God’s desire is not that I get bitter. Rather, his goal is to help me better learn to fully lean on Him. I’ve had a very full week of ministry and two more services to preach tomorrow. […]
Pray God Works
Posted on May 14, 2023 Leave a Comment
Well, the last two days have been wonderful in regards to my pain relief. My increased medication and the good Lord has made it possible for me to smile again. I’m more grateful than ever for God’s blessings of restoration. I’m also aware more than ever that I’m totally dependent upon God’s grace, strength, and […]
AT PEACE EVEN IN THE FIRE
Posted on May 12, 2023 Leave a Comment
At 8pm tonight I officially increased my nighttime meds to a dosage that should help better regulate my nerve pain. If I continue with this much medication I will battle brain fog and drowsines for a couple months. However, I will gain much more relief and a lot more peace. The peace of knowing this […]
Keep Pushing Through
Posted on May 11, 2023 Leave a Comment
My increase in medications helped me at first. Then, I decided 5 days ago that I wanted to cut those additional meds in half due to the brain fog they were giving me. After being wore down day after day with uncontrolled nerve pain. I’ve realize today I have no choice moving forward. So, starting […]
Change Is Hard
Posted on May 11, 2023 Leave a Comment
This has been a very, very long day. My body has been very unpredictable all day. Even after resting over nine hours last night. I’ve dealt with on and off drowsiness due to my extra medications. My body still has to get use to these new medications. On a great note, i was able to […]
Keep Listening & Trusting
Posted on May 10, 2023 Leave a Comment
I woke up this morning around 6:45am after God blessed me with 9 hours of sleep. The first thing I did was thank God from whom all blessings flow. All I did was exactly what He led me to do. I adjusted the timing of my medications, bedtime and literally gave everything to God. Not […]
Adjust and Celebrate
Posted on May 10, 2023 Leave a Comment
I normally take my medications at 9am, 3pm and 9pm each day. Last night, I felt led to change things up so I can adjust my bedtime. So, today I’ve changed those times to 8am, 2pm and 8pm. Hopefully, I can get to sleep much earlier than usual and avoid my typical nightmare level pain. […]
Embarrassing, Debilitating and Miserable
Posted on May 9, 2023 Leave a Comment
My pain has kept me in the bed literally all day long. Even when I thought things were turning around, I’ve quickly been proven wrong. I’ve rested all day and I’m already headed back to bed. I’ve learned that sometimes there’s no use in fighting with this level of pain. Pain like this affects you […]
ASHER KEEPS PROGRESSING
Posted on May 8, 2023 Leave a Comment
I’ve been having a rough pain day myself. But, seeing my Asher pain free and progressing makes me smile BIG inside. Just 7 days after surgery and he is rolling around the house wearing a big ole smile. TO GOD BE THE GLORY!
I Often Feel This Way
Posted on May 8, 2023 Leave a Comment
Today, was another awesome day of seeing God working at Refuge Church. Honestly, every week I strive to give my best efforts towards point others to Jesus. It’s not about how many attend church, but how many are impacted for God’s glory. Fortunately, there were a lot of God moments I got to witness firsthand. […]
Remaining In Him
Posted on May 7, 2023 Leave a Comment
Every time I lay down at night it takes awhile for my body and nerves to settle. It feels like every nerve in my body is plugged into an electric socket. I can feel constant vibrations running through my legs and feet. It’s often very difficult to distinguish between my actual nerves versus my spinal […]
Asher is Doing Great
Posted on May 6, 2023 Leave a Comment
We’re so happy with how Asher is improving. Just five days after surgery and it feels things have come so far. He has definitely been resting well at night. Plus, he has gone almost 24 hours without any breakthrough medications. He says he has no pain except if something bumps his left leg or foot. […]
Day 3: Little Faith Walker
Posted on May 4, 2023 Leave a Comment
Today was our first full day at home since Asher’s surgery. The emotions have settled and the healing has begun. Overall, we’ve been very pleased with Asher’s progress. As long as we give him the recommended pain meds consistently, his pain continues to be very manageable. Asher has spent the majority of time in his […]
I Couldn’t Go To Bed Until…
Posted on May 2, 2023 Leave a Comment
It’s been a very long day. However, we are so thrilled to have Asher’s first surgery out of the way. Just hearing the doctor say “your son’s left foot is now aligned.” That just does something to your heart when you never thought your son would be able to walk normal or pain free. The […]
Asher’s Surgery Coming Soon
Posted on May 1, 2023 Leave a Comment
Well, our family is getting ready to go through a new faith walking season. My son Asher will be having surgery Monday morning at the Shriner’s Children’s Hospital in Greenville, SC. We’ve been anxiously and prayerfully anticipating this day for quite some time. Asher will be having a total reconstruction of his left foot and […]
Another Tough Saturday Night
Posted on April 30, 2023 Leave a Comment
Honestly, I can’t recall a Saturday night that’s not been tough in a long time. Here I am laying on ice and just waiting on my pain to decrease. Also, my nerves have been stirred up once again. There’s no denying that the combo of these things always rattle my self-confidence. Thank God my medications […]
His Grace Is Enough
Posted on April 27, 2023 Leave a Comment
My nerves have continued to vibrate within me all throughout the day. In fact, just about anything can make my anxious nerves flare. So, this afternoon I had to go see my primary doctor. He felt it was finally time to increase all my nerve pain medications. I’ve not increased any of my medications for […]
I Feel On Fire
Posted on April 26, 2023 Leave a Comment
Something happened Monday evening that sparked my nerve pain. You would think someone caught every single nerve within my body on fire. I’ve spent the entire day dealing with nerve pain flooding throughout my feet, legs, back, hands and face. Honestly, it’s hard to explain to anyone what it feels like to have something like […]
Recent Scan Results
Posted on April 25, 2023 Leave a Comment
Today, I finally had a follow up visit to discuss my recent Myelogram and CT Scan results. I must say that Myelograms are one of the most uncomfortable procedures I’ve ever gotten. However, it was definitely necessary to discover the root of my pain issues. Overall, I’ve been more relieved than grieved over what was […]
No Use To Worry
Posted on April 19, 2023 Leave a Comment
This morning at 8am I will finally have my long-awaited myelogram. This is a diagnostic imaging test that uses a contrast dye and CT scan to look for problems in the spinal canal. This procedure should reveal anything developing in my spinal cord, nerve roots, and other tissues. All I really know is I need […]
A Great Man Of God
Posted on April 18, 2023 Leave a Comment
This man of God has been my favorite teaching pastor all my life. I watched him on tv and listened to him countless times on the radio. Since I was a child he’s had such great influence on my life. There were so many things about him that made him extremely relatable. Even his son […]
Your Pain Has Purpose
Posted on April 18, 2023 Leave a Comment
Lately, I’ve been doing pretty good overall. Especially considering where I was the past couple weeks. However, I’ve still been continuously dealing with that same painful surgical area that changed my life such a long time ago. I really don’t like to use the word handicap. However, I admit that so much of my life […]
Celebrate His Goodness
Posted on April 15, 2023 Leave a Comment
Last night I got really good sleep. Today, my pain has been very minimal as it seems my recent shot is doing wonders. It’s only been one week since my injection and I have seven more days for potential improvement. Overall, I couldn’t be happier with the relief I’ve gotten in all areas of my […]
God Will Restore You
Posted on April 13, 2023 Leave a Comment
Every night this week I’ve gone to bed in pain and every morning I’ve woken up in pain. For so long it seemed my worst pain was behind me. Now, here I am again having to carefully consider every step. The longer you feel brokenness, the harder it is to swallow. Chronic pain wears you […]
GOD DID IT AGAIN
Posted on April 9, 2023 Leave a Comment
I really believe God is trying to teach me the power of prayer. I’ve never prayed harder than I did this past week amidst my pain and health uncertainty. I prayed desperately for relief, healing, and for the peace of God’s Will. I know so many of you were doing the same on my behalf. […]
Persevering Forward By Faith
Posted on April 7, 2023 Leave a Comment
Been home since around 5pm today. Everything went great with me getting my steroid injection. Now, I’ve just been icing my back every hour per doctors orders. I will continue this regiment tomorrow. The past has proven the first 24-48 hours of rest and icing can get me on my feet much faster. While I’ve […]
Positive Strides Forward
Posted on April 6, 2023 Leave a Comment
Other than sporadic muscle spasms, today has been the most encouraging all week. I’ve been able to study several hours without blinding pain. I’ve been able to comfort a grieving family. I’ve been able to rest when necessary. I actually feel very optimistic about things right now. Tomorrow is the big day when I get […]
JUST BE HELD
Posted on April 5, 2023 Leave a Comment
Hold it all togetherEverybody needs you strongBut life hits you out of nowhereAnd barely leaves you holding on And when you’re tired of fightingChained by your controlThere’s freedom in surrenderLay it down and let it go So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far awayYou’re not alone, stop holding on and just […]
I’ve Cried A River
Posted on April 4, 2023 Leave a Comment
I want to write this while it is fresh on my heart. Earlier, I was overjoyed with the news of my upcoming steroid injection. Then, my doctor emailed me the order for my Myelogram. So, I decided I would take that over myself to the hospital since we don’t even live a mile away. My […]
GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS !!!
Posted on April 4, 2023 Leave a Comment
After being told I would have to wait at least 3 weeks before I could get my steroid injection. I was called early this morning and told they will do my injection this Thursday 2:25pm. That is just 2 days from now folks!!! Tell me that God does not answer the earnest prayers of His […]
Disappointed But Hopeful
Posted on April 4, 2023 Leave a Comment
Walking through pain is definitely nothing new to me. However, extreme pain will knock anyone down if it hangs around long enough. Unfortunately, my lower back pain has not only been ongoing for a couple weeks, but it keeps increasing. Every move and every step is overwhelming. I am exhausted and discouraged. I have been […]
Take A Deep Breath
Posted on April 3, 2023 Leave a Comment
Overall, today went way better than I could’ve expected. It was a blessing getting to preach God’s word to two full Sunday services. I had to do everything possible to overcome my pain. I kept ice or heat on my back at all times. I had to limit my interaction with others in order to […]
Lord I Fully Trust You
Posted on April 2, 2023 Leave a Comment
This afternoon my pain flared back up again. I ended up having to take some extra pain killers to get things under control. Seems, every time I feel I’ve progressed things appear regressed. When you’re dealing with certain levels of pain everything looks blurry. You can quickly feel intoxicated by what you’re feeling or thinking. […]
This Pain Is Different
Posted on April 1, 2023 Leave a Comment
I’ve been hesitating to update my status because I’m just not sure what is going on. This pain is just very different from my normal struggles. It feels as if I’m dealing with a further bulged disc or maybe another annular tear. Either way, bending in any direction has been quite a chore. My wife […]
Giving It All To God
Posted on March 30, 2023 Leave a Comment
This will be my last post for at least a few days. Unfortunately, tonight things quickly unraveled from seemingly better to worse. All I tried to do was reach down for my bath towel and the pain came rushing back. Now, I have radiating pain in my lower back and both hips. Reaching down for […]
I Feel Much Better
Posted on March 29, 2023 Leave a Comment
After a great nights sleep it was great to get out the house. There’s no doubt that I’ve experienced some improvement since yesterday. It’s still tough to lean forward without my back brace. But, my overall body feels much better and that is a huge answer to many prayers. They did a thorough evaluation of […]
Praying Forward
Posted on March 29, 2023 Leave a Comment
So, the good news is I’ve not gotten any worse. The tough news is I’ve not gotten any better. That area in my lower back just won’t ease up. I’ve been in the bed or tub the last 30 hours. Fortunately, I’m able to lie down comfortably. But, anytime I go to get up the […]
Being Still In Brokenness
Posted on March 28, 2023 Leave a Comment
Most people who look at me can’t see my brokenness. They typically see a man who looks to be in pretty good shape for 48. I do everything I can to take care of myself and live a recovery lifestyle. Even still my entire body feels nerve wrecked daily. It’s been 8 years since my […]
Humbled But At Peace
Posted on March 28, 2023 Leave a Comment
I was so thrilled with the pain relief I experienced yesterday. Everything seemed to be trending forward. While I wasn’t pain free, I felt like I had once again bounced back to normal. I even had a great nights sleep. Then, I got up very optimistic only to feel my body crumbling inside. Once again […]
Remember His Faithfulness
Posted on March 26, 2023 Leave a Comment
I’ve been dealing with a major lower back spasm the past 24 hours. I dealt with this the first part of the week, but I thought it went away. Then, yesterday evening it came back upon me with a vengeance. The muscles underneath my surgical area just won’t calm down. I’ve taken 4 muscle relaxers […]
Through Every Storm
Posted on March 22, 2023 Leave a Comment
Life continues to throw curve balls my way. Since 2015 I’ve not had a day without some level of physical challenge. Chronic pain has changed my life, but it’s also changed my perspective. You see, there are some things you can only learn through trials and tribulations. The valleys are where our faith is forced […]
Steps Towards A Healthier Me
Posted on March 11, 2023 Leave a Comment
15 days ago I decided I would seek to eat less inflammatory foods and lose some weight. Things have really gone well when it comes to reducing my inflammation and weight. I’ve now lost 8 lbs and I’m feeling so much better. The past 7 days I’ve been doing intermittent fasting. I only eat between […]
My Next 30 Years?
Posted on March 5, 2023 Leave a Comment
It’s getting much harder to acknowledge my birthday these days. Just knowing that time is ticking by so fast has the wheels churning in my mind. I’ve been pondering all week how I hope to spend my next thirty years. That’s if God grants me that many more years. Hard to believe my dad passed […]
Back To A Healthier Me
Posted on February 23, 2023 Leave a Comment
4 years ago I went on the elimination diet. I was seeking to not only lose weight but reduce the inflammation within my body. This diet only allows you to eat any Lean Meats, any beans, any veggies (except corn), any fruits (except citrus) and any nuts. While, yes there are many things you must […]
I Would’ve Prayed With Dad
Posted on January 29, 2023 Leave a Comment
Lately, God has really been stirring my heart. My compassion for people and reaching people for Christ is at an all time high. As a pastor, I want to help as many people possible. Even still, I’m just a man who puts my pants on like everyone else. I have limits and I’m well aware […]
God Is So Good
Posted on January 14, 2023 Leave a Comment
While I still deal with weakness in my legs, lower back discomfort and have new limitations. The insane nerve pain I had for so long has been staying consistently under control for quite some time. I’m so grateful to have the necessary relief and strength necessary to feel normal again. God has really been good […]
Honesty Is Hard Sometimes
Posted on December 17, 2022 Leave a Comment
I’ve gotten to a point in my journey where sometimes I just don’t want to talk about my health struggles anymore. It is such a roller coaster full of ups and downs. However, it seems the down times hurt a lot deeper when they wreck my nervous system. Here I am again only sharing this […]
Another Rough Day
Posted on December 9, 2022 Leave a Comment
Typically, every night around this time is tough with my never pain. However, today has been rough since the moment I woke up. It seems I still live in denial when it comes to my nerve condition. I want to think I can do things like most my age. Unfortunately, my body gives me a […]
Looks Can Be Deceiving
Posted on November 5, 2022 Leave a Comment
The past two days especially have not been great for my nerve pain. This morning our dog simply barked and it felt like lightning rushed throughout my entire body. After that it felt like someone had burned up every single nerve within me from my feet into my face. I spent most of the day […]
It’s Been Awhile Praise God
Posted on October 25, 2022 Leave a Comment
Sadly, this change in cooler weather brings a very unwelcome change in my body. Nights especially are full of aches and pains. The metal inside my back is screaming loudly. Every nerve I have seems to be going haywire. The only break from the misery is lots of heat and sleep. It’s so easy to […]
Giving God All The Praise
Posted on September 3, 2022 Leave a Comment
I typically get on here when my pain is unbearable. This post is polar opposite of the norm. I really do believe this is the most consistent my health has been in a very long time. I’ve been able to handle way more mentally, emotionally and physically lately. I am so thankful for God’s strength […]
Thankful For God’s Peace
Posted on August 27, 2022 Leave a Comment
Had a minor procedure done 8/15/22 on my right hand that required 4 very painful shots. Beforehand, I had no major pain in my hand. Sadly, afterwards my hand was full of shooting nerve pain. So, on 8/19/22 they put me on steroids to help with the inflammation. For 6 days I took prednisone and […]
I Didn’t Need More Pain
Posted on August 24, 2022 Leave a Comment
Been up all night with my right hand throbbing on fire with nerve pain. Sadly, a simple hand injection that was supposed to help a problem has only created problems. There’s no doubt that a communicated easy solution has become a nightly nightmare the past 8 nights. Nothing harder to swallow than a doctor telling […]
Day 1: God’s Blessing
Posted on July 4, 2022 Leave a Comment
Here I am only halfway into day one of obedience. God has already flooded me with rest, peace, and healing. I had a wonderful night of sleep. I woke up with my spinal cord stimulator working like a charm. It seems my nerves are settled and my pain is minimal. Today God led me to […]
Another 40 Days Away
Posted on July 4, 2022 Leave a Comment
We all go through seasons and each have a purpose in light of eternity. It’s so important we listen to God’s voice. However, we can’t hear His voice clearly without intentionally seeking His heart. We do this best by removing the distractions and excuses. We do this by repenting and wholeheartedly seeking to draw closer […]
From Struggle To Strength
Posted on July 4, 2022 Leave a Comment
I’m finally home after a very tough physical day. However, I’m so much better now compared to how my day started. After several days of over stimulation I decided to turn my spinal cord stimulator completely off. This time instead of it just being off 5 hours. I decided to try at least 12 hours. […]
Not Who I Once Was
Posted on June 30, 2022 Leave a Comment
Tonight is another one of those nights. In fact, this makes four nights in a row my nerve pain has wrestled me to the ground. I’m writing this post while icing my back and laying on my side. Whether I like it or not the cold hard facts are impossible to ignore. I’m not physically […]
Dear Father’s Day In Heaven
Posted on June 18, 2022 Leave a Comment
I know you’re not here physically anymore on this earth. Yet, there is so much you’ve left behind I must acknowledge. In fact, with each day that passes your impact fills my heart. So much of my life, family and ministry is a direct product of your investments. In tribute to your legacy I just […]
Had Another Meltdown
Posted on May 28, 2022 Leave a Comment
Late last night I experienced something that used to be a daily occurrence. Honestly, I didn’t see it coming it had been so long. I knew the pain in my lower back surgical spot was increasing in pain. What I didn’t know was I would end up in a nonstop puddle of tears. The best […]
Still Blows My Mind
Posted on March 31, 2022 1 Comment
I was looking through my God led blog stats. Once again I was very humbled. Over the last 10 years I’ve written over 1500 posts. They have been viewed over 100,000 times from people in 130 different countries. How in the world does that happen when all I’m doing is sharing my faith walk. I […]
Day Two: Forward Optimism
Posted on March 31, 2022 Leave a Comment
This is just day two of my 40 Day Faith Walk reboot. If you’ve followed my pain journey the past several years you know this is either my 4th or 5th time on this type of God led journey. In these 40 days I hope to grows me stronger physically, mentally, emotionally and for sure […]
I Need Your Prayers
Posted on March 30, 2022 1 Comment
I really didn’t see this coming. This pain has once again wore me down and left me shaking my head. Honestly, I can write about it easier than I can talk about it. It’s not that I get so emotional, but just breathing wears me out right now. This pain is so suffocating and impossible […]
I Understand Your Pain
Posted on March 29, 2022 Leave a Comment
I’m not writing this for just anyone. I’m writing this for those who can relate to nonstop pain. I know what it’s like to feel uncomfortable every moment you’re awake. To feel like each breath takes effort for many reasons. I know how pain melts you and unfortunately changes you. While you try to take […]
When You Lose Control
Posted on March 28, 2022 Leave a Comment
I don’t think losing a sense of control ever does your nerves a lot of good. You would think by now I would be a veteran of dealing with chronic pain. However, this past week really shook me up. Even though I’ve had many rough seasons in the past. My most recent flare up left […]
I’m Feeling “God”
Posted on March 26, 2022 Leave a Comment
Well, I haven’t been out the house today. However, I have been getting some much needed rest and relax time. It seems my spinal cord stimulator is working to perfection at it’s new setting. I feel nothing crazy going on within my body. My pain is under control and my nerves are very calm. Last […]
Tears, Smiles, Peace
Posted on March 26, 2022 Leave a Comment
This has been a very long week and a very long day. There have been many ups and downs. I’ve had many reasons to smile and some reasons to cry. So, I decided to do both for healing purposes. Now, I’m about to go to bed full of God’s peace. I finally got my spinal […]
Another God Made Day
Posted on March 25, 2022 Leave a Comment
Well, the prayers must be working because I’ve had no meltdowns today. I’ve also been doing everything I know to keep things under control. When things get this way I’ve learned every strategy matters. If I’ve got to stay in my bed longer that’s what must happen. If I’ve got to soak in a tub […]
God Only Knows
Posted on March 23, 2022 Leave a Comment
Somehow this pain just keeps sneaking back up on me. Everyday ends with me feeling like I’m in unbearable pain. Saying I hate feeling this way is an understatement. I was doing so well for so long. Plus, I’m seeking to do all the right things more than ever before. Yet, my pain is so […]
I Know You Hate It
Posted on March 23, 2022 Leave a Comment
Maybe you feel stuck inside a broken body or situation that keeps letting you down. No matter how hard you try it keeps impacting all aspects of your life. It’s not one of those things you can just ignore. Time has proven this is just your present cross to bear. Boy, can I relate with […]
The Facts Don’t Lie
Posted on March 21, 2022 Leave a Comment
My friends you have to keep up with certain facts if you deal with certain challenges. Everyday I seek to watch closely certain things in order to overcome my chronic pain. I watch my rest, activity, eating, drinking , standing, sitting, and even driving habits daily. Each of these things especially pooled together with others […]
This Too Shall Pass
Posted on March 17, 2022 Leave a Comment
According to my Fitbit I finally fell asleep around 4am still with a fever. I woke up around 8:30am to take medications and fortunately had no fever. While I’m very sore all over, I no longer have a fever. I ate a small yogurt for breakfast and immediately my stomach went back to cramping. An […]
Still Waiting
Posted on March 17, 2022 Leave a Comment
Here I am 5 1/2 hours later and my fever just dropped under 100. I’ve been rotating ibuprofen and Tylenol every 2 hours. My overall pain has decreased but the fever is keeping me uncomfortable. Been awhile since I was still wide awake after 3am. I can’t believe all the other meds taken earlier don’t […]
Another In The Fire 🔥
Posted on March 17, 2022 Leave a Comment
It feels like I’ve been waiting days for the nonstop agony in my body to settle down. I just couldn’t understand why my total body pain kept climbing and climbing. It was the longest time in my memory of such continuous high level pain. Even after numerous medications my pain just kept escalating for the […]
I Don’t Always Understand
Posted on March 17, 2022 Leave a Comment
Here I am again feeling so so sick. My nerve stimulator must still be off track. I’m hoping tomorrow or Friday they can adjust it in person. Problem is even after adjustments it can take days and even up to two weeks to make a true difference. My gut tells me that I’ve likely been […]
5 Ways To Reduce Chronic Pain
Posted on March 12, 2022 Leave a Comment
1. Process It, Don’t Feed It There is a difference in working through something vs wallowing in something. We don’t have to be defined by our pain. We also don’t need to be in denial of it. Process where you are in the moment, but aim towards where you want to be in the future. […]
Your Diet Really Matters
Posted on March 11, 2022 Leave a Comment
Eating healthy is difficult for most living in this world. However, once you truly know your health depends on it you should have greater motivation. How you eat will likely determine the quality and the quantity of your life. You’ve just got to decide to make better choices one meal at a time. Your choices […]
Too Much To Handle Alone
Posted on March 9, 2022 Leave a Comment
Well, I didn’t get to sleep until after 3am this morning. So, when I got up to take my morning medications my body was definitely struggling. I was still looking forward to getting my spinal cord stimulator adjusted at noon today. Unfortunately, the adjuster reached out to inform me that appointment couldn’t happen. I’m fact, […]
God Has His Reasons
Posted on March 8, 2022 Leave a Comment
There’s no denying that certain levels of adversity get the wheels churning in your mind. Trust me, I’ve experienced it firsthand so many times. All day long I’ve been in the vice grips of pain and discomfort. The only comfort I can find physically is when I’m sleeping or in the tub. Unfortunately, I’ve been […]
Lord Help My Unbelief
Posted on March 7, 2022 1 Comment
I really don’t want to make this post right now. Especially, since I know I’m once again in a very low place. But, I’m trusting God’s greater plans. Many of you know I’ve battled a long time with major chronic pain. Well, for some reason that battle has returned and hopefully only stays a little […]
My Pain Tribe Understands
Posted on March 5, 2022 2 Comments
Here I am wrapping up the ending of another blessed birthday. All I feel like doing is getting some desperately needed rest. Yet, God is telling me it’s these times especially I need to write something to share. In fact, I need to say what anyone who battles with chronic pain already knows. Pain doesn’t […]
Back To The Basics
Posted on March 1, 2022 Leave a Comment
Well, I’ve really been on the struggle bus lately. Especially in the evenings I’ve been back to having to live in the tub. Most who know my chronic pain story know this used to always be my way of life. In fact, for at least 3-4 years straight I spent 90 percent of my life […]
How I Feel Right Now
Posted on February 23, 2022 Leave a Comment
Tonight, I’m feeling very out of sorts. My nerve pain has reared its ugly head quite a bit recently. It’s really hard to prevent something that can easily be flared by activity, eating, drinking or stress. But, somehow I’ve had way more good days than bad over the past year. When I get this way […]
Another Year Older
Posted on February 17, 2022 Leave a Comment
Well, Little Faith Walker is no longer so little. He turned 12 years old today and is nearly as tall as me. God keeps growing him and shaping him daily. I can still see God’s call upon his life on a daily basis. At his age I wasn’t even thinking about doing the things he […]
Understanding My Spinal Stimulator
Posted on September 25, 2021 3 Comments
After three years of having my St Jude spinal cord stimulator implanted. I’m smiling bigger than ever before. Trust me, it takes quite awhile to understand how it works and how to feel it working at a maximum level. I have permanent nerve damage from my lower back all the way down through both feet. […]
Hearing My Father’s Voice
Posted on August 27, 2021 Leave a Comment
It’s after 2:45 in the morning. I desperately need to fall asleep since I’ve got a very long day ahead. Usually, I would’ve been snoring at least 3-4 hours ago already. Yet, when I need sleep the most it just doesn’t seem to come easy. So, I’m just praying I will fall asleep very soon. […]
I’m Not There Anymore
Posted on August 26, 2021 1 Comment
It’s actually been a couple years since I’ve blogged consistently about my life altering pain. Before, I lived with day and night torture from sun up to sun down. I spent over four years straight just trying to remain sane through the pain. After countless doctors appointments, surgeries, shots, counseling and daily physical therapy. I […]
Is Your Pain Running You Down?
Posted on August 15, 2021 1 Comment
After a wonderful relaxing week with my wife. I came back home this past Thursday. Honestly, I got off of a cruise ship and entered a battleship. So many people going through so much. Covid which appeared to be sleeping reared it’s ugly head more than ever before. I’ve spent the past few days visiting […]
I Won’t Forget My Tribe
Posted on August 14, 2021 Leave a Comment
It’s been quite awhile since I posted on this page. In fact, it’s been many months since I discussed my own chronic pain journey. For the most part that’s a good thing. On the other hand, I don’t ever want to forget those who live with chronic pain. I lived in that extreme valley far […]
Dad Gave Me His Torch
Posted on July 29, 2021 1 Comment
It has been exactly 72 days since my 72 year old dad took his last earthly breath. My last conversation with him was a little over 20 hours prior to his passing. For that moment it was just him and me in the emergency room. Dad made it very clear that he was completely ready […]
My Little Faith Walker
Posted on May 3, 2021 Leave a Comment
My youngest son Asher has one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever known. He cares so deeply about people and animals. Just the thought of someone’s pain brings him to his knees. He always prays the most heartfelt prayers. That makes sense because he always says “daddy they come from the heart.” Tonight he prayed […]
A Rare Rough Night
Posted on April 10, 2021 Leave a Comment
Anyone who has followed my pain journey long knows I’ve had a lot of rough nights in the past. It used to be that the only time I felt any relief was in my sleep. Night after night felt like a pain driven nightmare. Back then my prayers seemed like whispers. I really began to […]
Take Up Your Cross
Posted on April 3, 2021 Leave a Comment
I’m typically in bed by at least 10pm every night. I’m generally asleep at the latest by midnight. Usually my nighttime medications help me fall asleep sometime in that window of time. However, tonight has been one of those rare occasions. Here it is 7am and I’ve not slept a wink all night. Not really […]
Keep Walking With God
Posted on April 2, 2021 Leave a Comment
The longer you live I really believe your faith should grow. As you realize your limitations. It should make you realize your desperate need for God. The older you get the more you should ponder life after death. You should think more about how what you are doing in this life will impact the life […]
Limits Don’t Define You
Posted on March 13, 2021 Leave a Comment
When you see this video you just see an 11yr old boy having normal fun. When I see this young man riding what he calls “Rolling Thunder” I see the power of God at work. My youngest son Asher is one of the sweetest kids I know. However, he faces numerous physical, emotional, and mental […]
Just A Tough Day
Posted on March 11, 2021 Leave a Comment
I woke up today in quite a fix. It was all I could do to get out of my bed. Sadly, it’s nothing that ever takes me by total surprise. I knew my nervous system was out of whack. I knew that nothing would be easy for me today. Anyone who has battled long with […]
Pain Connects Us
Posted on March 8, 2021 Leave a Comment
Last night and really all day my lower back pain has been constant. Fortunately, God gave me the grace and strength to preach two outdoors services. I’ve learned how to put mind over the matter when necessary. But, eventually the pain rushing through my body like a tornado threatens everything. It affects me physically, mentally, […]
It Doesn’t Have To Make Sense
Posted on March 6, 2021 Leave a Comment
I understand what’s it’s like to have a chronic condition that can take you down without a moments notice. Honestly, I can’t lift over 5 pounds and it not give me fits. I can’t stand or sit for over an hour and not hurt like crazy. I can’t handle half of what I once could […]
Need Some Relief From Your Chronic Pain?
Posted on March 3, 2021 Leave a Comment
Let me begin by saying that anything I’m about to share has been proven. It has proven to at least help reduce inflammation in your body. To keep those of us who are already one degree away from boiling stay sane. If you battle daily with inflammation in your body you need to listen. If […]
God’s Not Done With You
Posted on February 27, 2021 Leave a Comment
Apart from a miracle I will be fighting with my body in some way for the rest of my life. I try not to dwell on it or feed it. I try not to allow that to be my permanent life excuse. However, my body reminds me daily that the doctor wasn’t lying to me. […]
Better Just Sore
Posted on February 26, 2021 Leave a Comment
Last night was a night I would rather forget. Every nerve in my body crashed leaving me just a shell of myself. For nearly 3 hours my heart was pounding and my body was burned within. It’s like having an outer body experience you can’t fully explain. You feel trapped inside and the nerve pain […]
Nerves Are Fried Again
Posted on February 26, 2021 Leave a Comment
Well, I was asleep for an hour or more. Suddenly, my nervous system literally woke me up going completely crazy. Every part of my body has been constantly vibrating. The least little sound, movement and even my own voice sends me into orbit. This experience is like having an internal earthquake that is way off […]
A Bad & Good Kind Of Pain
Posted on February 24, 2021 Leave a Comment
I’ve not had a bad day overall. Had a fairly productive day of ministry. Had a daddy night with my youngest son. I was blessed by God to be able to get up and show up. These days are definitely way better than some of my most painful days in my past. That said I’m […]
From Pain To Purpose
Posted on February 19, 2021 Leave a Comment
There was a time when all you heard about was my pain. Everyday felt like nonstop torment. Hope seem nowhere in sight. Life was just a fight for survival. The days and nights seemed endless. Only misery consumed me. So much has changed over the past two years. God has used my pain to keep […]
Don’t Ignore The Warning Lights
Posted on February 11, 2021 Leave a Comment
Here I go again experiencing another night in the flames of nerve pain. I really had a pretty decent day after a good night’s sleep. But, by supper time I didn’t even feel like the same person. These burning nerve sensations run from my feet all the way into my face. There’s no quick fix […]
Look What God Has Done
Posted on February 10, 2021 Leave a Comment
The past few nights have been very painful . Not sure what exactly has triggered my nerve pain. I have been very busy from sun up to sun down. I have been under a lot of pressure as my ministry keeps growing. Honestly, life in general has been very demanding and challenging. Even still, God […]
Just Checking In
Posted on January 17, 2021 Leave a Comment
I’ve been away from social media for a few weeks. Just trying to stay focused on things that matter most. This never ending season has been tough. All you can do is keep taking the next right step. Times like these demand we walk by faith and not by sight. You can be certain you’re […]
Keep Praying For Dad
Posted on December 23, 2020 Leave a Comment
In so many ways this Christmas will be different and full of emotions. It remains to be seen if our entire family will gather together at all. Dad has certainly had his share of setbacks lately. He spent hours at the emergency room this past Saturday due to extreme pain in his eye. He was […]
God Whatever You Want
Posted on December 20, 2020 Leave a Comment
My dad was a pastor for 48 years. He can’t remember any church being closed more than a few times period. I’ve been in the ministry 27 years and I can only remember the church being closed a couple times ever. Yet, here I am pastoring a church that has not met “inside” for corporate […]
Even In The Bad Times
Posted on December 15, 2020 Leave a Comment
I’ve been off social for nearly one month. I’ve not preached on a Sunday in over 3 weeks. For many reasons I had to step back from the world as I once knew it. I desperately needed to catch my breath. I had to get my own self healthier physically, emotionally, and spiritually. That is […]
Taking An Extended Break
Posted on November 30, 2020 Leave a Comment
I’ve not been on social media in quite awhile. I don’t plan on being on here for several more weeks. Last Sunday night I had another major neurological breakdown. I’ve not had one that severe in at least 3 years. My body is still recovering from feeling so fried inside. Of course, initially it brought […]
Living The Dream
Posted on November 20, 2020 Leave a Comment
In 2007 I had a dream from God. In that dream God showed me people my ministry would impact if I stayed faithful to Him. Blindfolded, God took me to the edge of a cliff. Then, he removed the blindfold and it took my breath away. There were multitudes of people as far as the […]
Another Wall To Scale
Posted on November 20, 2020 Leave a Comment
My pain has been relentless practically all day. My lower back surgical area has just stayed on fire. Nerve pain keeps flooding my body. My face has stayed on fire as the nerve sensations have no where else to roam. This gnawing sensation keeps me feeling nauseated. Early this morning I put together a new […]
When The Pain Runs Deep
Posted on November 19, 2020 Leave a Comment
Toxins have been building up inside of me for weeks. Last week was very tough. This week has been tolerable, but still somewhere miserable. My nerve pain is consuming my body. My entire face is flooded with painful nerve sensations. I feel so irritable most of the time due to my ramped up pain. The […]
Finding Comfort In Pain
Posted on November 14, 2020 Leave a Comment
I understand my body is broken. I remember the doctor saying nearly 5 years ago words I never cared to hear. He said, “no matter what anyone tells you this can’t be fixed. Trust me, you have permanent nerve damage.” I wish I could say that doctor was dead wrong. However, my body keeps confirming […]
Thank You Jesus
Posted on November 6, 2020 Leave a Comment
Now, I may still be sore and limited in certain movement. But, there’s no doubt things are trending in the right direction. This heating pad on my back right now feels like Jesus with skin. The medical massage I got earlier was Heaven sent at Total Wellness. Then, I went back for another neck and […]
While I Was Sleeping
Posted on November 6, 2020 Leave a Comment
Last night I had a full night of sleep for the first time in many days. By that I mean uninterrupted. I didn’t wake up tossing and turning. I wasn’t feel one ounce of pain while I was actually sleeping and that’s a God thing. Today, I woke up just feeling very sore and cautious […]
Finding Peace In Chaos
Posted on November 6, 2020 Leave a Comment
Well, let me start this out with some good news. Today, dad safely endured being put under anesthesia. Then, his doctor removed surgically a biopsy from his temple. It will be at least early next week before he hears any results. At the very least we figure he is battling temporal arthritis among other things. […]
When The Pain Is Blinding
Posted on November 5, 2020 Leave a Comment
My health is presently not good at all. You name it and it hurts on my body. I’m trying my best to weather this storm and see beyond this misery. I know this isn’t my first rodeo with pain. Still it makes everything harder when I’m consumed with such misery. Nights have been the worst. […]
In This Season
Posted on October 23, 2020 Leave a Comment
God is teaching me so many things in this season. No, it’s not been fun or even enjoyable. But, I would say it’s been worth the sweat, stress and tears. Now, I’m not talking about this world’s craziness or anyone’s political views. I’m talking about what God has shown me during this time in His […]
The Struggle Is Real
Posted on October 23, 2020 Leave a Comment
My flesh doesn’t want to share these words with you. In fact, the devil really doesn’t want me being honest. Yet, there are many times we must get over our pride. We must be real about our feelings and fears. Our hurts, our pains and our everyday human struggles. The past eight months have been […]
Pain Pain Go Away
Posted on October 20, 2020 Leave a Comment
As most of you know I don’t write much these days about my pain. Only when pain compels me to share my story. For at least 4 years straight pain consumed my life. Fortunately , I really do have more good days than bad now. But, recently my pain has reared it’s ugly head again. […]
Things Have To Change
Posted on October 9, 2020 Leave a Comment
For 7 1/2 months straight I’ve been going and going. Ministry has never felt more demanding. Time has never felt so fleeting. My body has been screaming for my attention the last few weeks. I’m well aware that I’ve got to make some life adjustments ASAP. Sure, I could justify most of my steps. I […]
He Won’t Fail You
Posted on October 2, 2020 Leave a Comment
Tonight, my lower back is giving me a little extra grief. It seems my surgical spot is more inflamed than usual. Honestly, my pain level is no more than a 4 out of 10. There’s just enough discomfort to hinder my sleep for now. Now, I’ve taken my normal night time medications and some extra. […]
I’m Really Surprised
Posted on September 25, 2020 Leave a Comment
Well, I drove early this morning to Charleston to see my pain specialist. An hour of driving one way doesn’t sound like a big deal. But, it’s a very big deal for me even still. My wife does the driving 95 percent of time for us. When I do drive it’s typically only a few […]
Look What God Has Done
Posted on September 25, 2020 Leave a Comment
Tomorrow, I will go see my pain specialist. Hard to believe it’s officially been one year since my last pain shot. Based on my condition I was supposed to need at least 3 or 4 shots every year. Before, I really had no choice with my persistent pain. But, here I am still not presently […]
Finding The Blessings
Posted on September 19, 2020 Leave a Comment
My arms were tired. Then, I saw a man with no arms. My legs were weak. Then, I saw a man with no legs. My back was aching. Then, I saw a man who was paralyzed. My heart was broken. Then, I saw a man whose heart quit beating. My life was altered. Then I […]
How Is Your Pain Now?
Posted on September 17, 2020 Leave a Comment
I’m jumping on here to give a little update. I’ve had many ask from time to time how my pain level is now. Obviously, that’s not a crazy question considering I spent nearly 5 years straight in smothering pain. Honestly, I don’t even like to think about those painful days. Certain times of reflection just […]
When You Feel So Restless
Posted on September 12, 2020 Leave a Comment
Sometimes you just find yourself restless. You may not even be able to pinpoint exactly what has you so worked up. All you know is your feelings are drowning you. If you could shutdown your mind you certainly would. Honestly, these are the moments satan can’t wait to pounce on you. You will be tempted […]
Preparing For The Next 9-11
Posted on September 11, 2020 Leave a Comment
For those of us old enough to realize what was happening at that time. We couldn’t forget that day if we tried. Those planes took down way more than those twin towers on September 11th 2001. They ripped open our hearts and exposed our fragile humanity. That day forced us all to stop dead in […]
If We’re Honest
Posted on September 4, 2020 Leave a Comment
No wonder everyone seems so irritable. No wonder the least little thing causes people to go crazy. One, it’s been hot enough to instantly catch on fire. Two, most of us have felt stuck in hibernation for 5 1/2 months. Three, social media reminds you of “The Three Stooges.” Four, most days keep feeling like […]
Teachers Have A Calling
Posted on August 31, 2020 Leave a Comment
I’ve been a minister of the gospel for over 27 years. The only thing that keeps me committed is a very strong call from God. Never do I feel like I’ve got things figured out. Rarely do things ever go as planned. However, the call and the opportunity to impact lives keeps me motivated. I […]
We’ve All Been Contaminated
Posted on August 28, 2020 Leave a Comment
I rarely ever watch anything on television these days. If I do it’s certainly not the news. I don’t listen to the radio period. I’m not around anyone filling my ears with the latest bad news. I may get on social media an hour each day. So, you would think my chances of feeling contaminated […]
When This Is Over
Posted on August 16, 2020 Leave a Comment
It’s been 5 months since the world quit turning as usual. Our churches, schools businesses and even sports have all been stopped in their tracks. Our very way of life has been changed in so many ways. Amidst all the conflict, chaos and fight to return things back to normal. God help my heart never […]
Count Your Blessings
Posted on August 14, 2020 Leave a Comment
I’ve dealt with a bit of a flair with my nerve condition. For the past 6 hours my skin has been crawling. This uncomfortable tingling is running throughout my entire nervous system. I wish I could find the off switch. So far nothing has stopped it or slowed it down. This chaotic disruption within me […]
1400 Posts, 94,000 Views, 130 Countries
Posted on August 14, 2020 Leave a Comment
craigcrosby.blog/4000-impressions-later/
Dad Needs Me Now
Posted on August 13, 2020 Leave a Comment
All my life my dad has worked hard. He has sought to be a great provider and dad. He has been a great man of God and example to follow. The first half of my life he was my actual pastor. The second half of my life he has still been a pastor I could […]
Leading In This Season
Posted on August 8, 2020 Leave a Comment
I can’t put it fully into words. This season has just been a tough time to be a leader. So many divisions, opinions, and anxious thoughts. Everybody is seeing things through their own viewpoint. Some watch this network and others watch another. Some believe in masks others don’t even believe there is a threat. All […]
I’m Much Better Now
Posted on August 3, 2020 Leave a Comment
Our family made our normal Sunday visit with my parents today. Honestly, I wasn’t planning on going since I only slept three hours last night. Most of my night and day were filled with nerve pain and great anxiety. I found myself in my bed feeling so overwhelmed. Then, I thought about my dad’s condition. […]
Gotta Keep Praying
Posted on August 2, 2020 Leave a Comment
Here I am again dealing with another heart pounding moment. My nerve condition often makes me have to sit up in bed. Every time I try laying down my heart feels like it’s beating outside of my chest. My anxiety then kicks into a much higher gear. Fortunately, I’m a veteran at dealing with these […]
Don’t Waste Your Pain
Posted on August 2, 2020 Leave a Comment
Less than 30 minutes ago I shared about my struggle. This meant I had to get over my pride. This meant I had to be obedient in saying what God put on my heart. He has always compelled me to write in the eye of the pain. To praise Him in the storm not just […]
Please Know
Posted on August 1, 2020 Leave a Comment
Please know that anything I ever share it’s not for self-pity. It’s in hopes that my faith journey encourages you on your journey. I don’t ever want to waste my God allowed pain. The greatest stuff I’ve ever seen has been through my pain. I thank God daily for every struggle along with every victory. […]
God Can Rescue You Too
Posted on August 1, 2020 Leave a Comment
I’m sick of saying it, feeling it and having to fight through it. Once again I’m in the heat of a battle I’ve faced so many times. Feels like someone has set my entire nervous system on fire. This time for some reason I just can’t find the off switch. In fact, I have no […]
140 Days and Counting
Posted on July 31, 2020 Leave a Comment
Sunday will make 140 days since any group has gathered inside the church I pastor. For our growing church body it has clearly been the safest decision. I believe I speak for most pastors when I say every week has been unprecedented. Churches in the south rarely ever close their doors for any reason. This […]
All I Can Do Is Pray
Posted on July 29, 2020 1 Comment
This is the fourth night in a row my entire body has been hijacked with nerve pain. It is really hard to explain something that feels like you’ve got electricity constantly running throughout your body. I feel fried and weary in every way. I’ve done everything I know to do to feel better. At night […]
Count Every Victory
Posted on July 28, 2020 Leave a Comment
It’s 3:30am and I’m wide awake. At least my nerves and pain are settled some at this moment. Had another rough night but didn’t have to take any Valium. I used my CBD oil under my tongue and eventually the strong neurological current within me settled down. This condition of mine is often merciless. No […]
Down Not Hopeless
Posted on July 28, 2020 Leave a Comment
Well, I’ve not exactly been doing great with my nerve pain recently. Last week was very taxing on my mind, heart and body. However, after a very relaxing Saturday I really thought I was doing good. Then, that Saturday night brought another hurricane experience. After plenty of sleep it seemed the worst was behind me. […]
Understanding Chronic Pain
Posted on July 27, 2020 Leave a Comment
This is for those trying to understand the battle of chronic pain. First, let’s begin by giving you a very clear definition. Chronic pain is pain persisting for a long time or constantly recurring. Honestly, it’s not something that ever really goes away. You just don’t always feel it the same depending upon the moment, […]
No More PB&J For Me
Posted on July 26, 2020 Leave a Comment
Maybe you do or maybe you don’t like peanut butter and jelly toast. I have always loved it with a big glass of milk. But, for the past year I’ve pretty much stayed away from it due to the sugar intake and my chronic pain issues. I also rarely drink regular milk as I’ve discovered […]
So Thankful To God
Posted on July 25, 2020 Leave a Comment
Been laying here not able to sleep. That’s when it hit me just how bad things used to be. Suddenly my mind was flooded by images of the past. Back when pain was all I saw and hope was fading. Every day felt like a year and going to sleep was my favorite part of […]
My Hope Is Renewed
Posted on July 24, 2020 Leave a Comment
Well, I just finished up another seemingly never ending day. However, God took me through it despite my depleted strength. I find that every time I think I’m going to collapse God catches me. As you’ve read this has been a very challenging week of ministry for me. But, there are always going to be […]