Always Hard To Swallow

For the first time in a few years we’ve got all four of our boys together on one trip. Even my daughter in love made it to Orlando. My youngest son Asher wanted to take a trip to his favorite place before his next big surgery. So, on Wednesday afternoon we all travelled to Universal Studios. This is the last opportunity for Asher to enjoy something physical prior to his surgery on December 4th.

Now, I had in my minds eye what this trip might look like together. However, my hopeful vision and reality didn’t quite match up. Night one, my health fell completely apart and I spent half the night in miserable pain. The next day, I wasn’t physically able to get out with everyone until 5pm. Once supper began around 7:30pm my health began tumbling down again. I knew it was best that I head back to the room asap. So, I made my way back to the room without even eating with them. Today, we all headed back to Universal around 1pm. After only 4 hours together I’ve headed back to the room and won’t even go to supper with them. My pain started escalating and I knew once again I couldn’t ignore this reality.

All that to say it’s been another very painful dose of reality. Fortunately, tears no longer fall and I’m not depressed over it. I’m just having to let things move from my head into my heart. Praise God I was able to do something. Praise God I’ve not totally ruined their trip. Praise God I’m continuing to learn my limitations and solutions. I’m grateful to head back to South Carolina tomorrow with all my family healthy.

Anyone with life altering health issues knows it’s hard to swallow your new normal. You don’t won’t to be a burden. You don’t want to miss out on things. You don’t want to stand out because of issues you can’t control. You ultimately just have to believe that God makes no mistakes. There’s always someone who wishes they could be in your shoes. I know my list of blessings far outweigh my limitations. I sincerely have a great peace knowing God is still God.

(Isaiah 50:4) The Sovereign Lord has given me his words of wisdom, so that I know how to comfort the weary. Morning by morning he wakens me and opens my understanding to his will.