Weary, Discouraged, Hopeful

I’m not sure where to even begin with this post. There must be someone out there who needs to hear these words. As a person of strong faith, I don’t want to ever sound like I’m only complaining. However, the truth is I’m feeling very tortured and discouraged.

I still have no idea why my hands are being consumed with a painful heating sensation. I thought things were getting better with time. However, today and especially this evening my hands ache so much.

Even without any signs of red breakouts, my hands are so hot. I’ve been researching as much as possible to discover what has changed. I feel this stems from my extreme neuropathy or something else going on inside of my body.

When you already feel battle weary from other things, one more thing overwhelms you deeply. You just don’t feel like you have the strength to keep pressing forward. You hate the way your health issues affect you and especially those around you.

I can truly say that my desire to be healed is not connected to anything selfish. I just want to live out my life’s purpose to bring glory to God. I want to impact as many people possible for Christ. I want to be more of a strength for my wife, kids, family, and friends.

Tomorrow, I’ve got an appointment with my orthopedic doctor to setup another steroid injection. However, right now I’m concerned more about what is evolving with my hands. Please pray they can direct me anyway possible towards detecting and dealing with this new unpredictable pain.

I know God has a plan even in my pain. He has always taken me through the darkest of valleys. Yes, these seasons can drastically affect your feelings. This is why it’s so important we keep walking by faith.

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)