Be Still, Just Breath

Outside of the pure misery, I just can’t handle much right now. I’ve lost all my physical confidence for the moment. This time has truly taken me off guard. I feel like a fish out of water that is fighting to just breathe. 

The past two days my pain has been insane. Physically, mentally, and emotionally I’ve just felt tortured. Seemingly out of nowhere my enemy has knocked the breath out of me. Yesterday, my nerve pain raged constantly throughout my entire body. I’ve been doing everything I can to put out these flames within me.

I finally slept for about 12 hours straight. I was hoping I could sleep even longer because I knew it was my only chance for relief. I finally got out of bed at 1:30 pm due to feeling nauseous and aching from lying down so much. 

Fortunately, my nausea and overall pain is under control for the moment. My hands have been as hot as can been since I got up. I feel out of breath from the battle. I had to take another Valium around 2pm, otherwise I would still be feeling insane. I just can’t put my finger on it and that’s all I can say right now. 

I can feel the prayers of many carrying me forward. I have a few key medical visits ahead that should shed more light on my situation. For now, all I can do is be still and let God be God. Everything is not meant for me to understand. All God ask me to do is trust fully in His plans. 

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT