Painful Waiting Is Never Easy

Today has been another emotional and physical roller coaster. This recovery is definitely testing my patience. On one hand, I hardly have any of my usual nerve pain. On the other hand, new pain keeps pulling me down. My legs feel very weak, my left hip aches every time I move, and all of this is the temporary side effects of my recent rhizotomy. I had none of these issues before my procedure.

Sometimes the timing of your pain makes the pain feel even worse. Knowing I would be out of town this coming week, I started planning months ago to make sure my pain would be decreased as much as possible by now. But due to insurance delays and unfortunate timing, nothing went as planned. My rhizotomy was supposed to take place at least two to three weeks ago.

Now, not only do I not have enough time for full pain relief to kick in, but I’m also heading into this trip with increased pain due to the late approval. I’ve found myself upset, angry, and disappointed. Still, I keep having to trust God for His divine favor and daily healing.

I’ve got until Monday for things to turn around. However, the relief I need is out of my hands. I’m praying that what feels terrible right now will one day become a testimony of God’s greatness. I’ve seen God turn things around against all odds before, and I’m believing He’ll do it again for His glory and my comfort.

I do feel like things are improving day by day, but it’s just been slower than I would like, even 84 hours later. Yes, I’m a pastor, and yes, I have faith that God will take care of me. But prolonged pain at unfortunate times can really disappoint and humble you. I’m not going to pretend I don’t battle human emotions. Pain can make anybody go hillbilly deluxe pickup truck!

All that said, I’m very grateful for every inch of progress and every answered prayer. I’ve got 36 hours of healing before Sunday services, and 62 hours before I cruise out of town for a few days. Thank you all for your continued prayers. Please know I’m praying for you as well.

“But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV)