Understanding My Condition

I already feel like a brand new man after turning off my spinal cord stimulator hours ago. My mind and demeanor are day and night versus before. The over stimulation sky rocketed my nerve pain and anxiety levels. It makes me feel like I’ve turned into the Incredible Hulk. Except in my case I don’t turn green, but I do start thinking irrationally. 

At the time I can’t see it and no one else can. However, I become under the influence of the madness within me. It’s like someone reached in and screwed up all my inside nerve wiring. I can feel myself drowning in misery, but I think I’m just having a bad day.

I apologized to my 15 year old once I came to my senses. Suddenly I have all the patience in the world. Yet, earlier I could not handle the smallest of conversations. It’s like I’m no longer the Hulk, but I can remember what the Hulk did. Sadly, I can do nothing to stop things when my nerves are fried like earlier. 

Many have asked what more can be done for my nerve condition. Honestly, the spinal cord stimulator I have is the most advance technology out there for my level nerve damage. The kind I have has only been around since 2014. When it works great it makes such a difference. When it doesn’t it’s like you took away my oxygen. There are no other surgeries or procedures out there that can repair my nerve damage. Medication and this stimulator are the best man can offer at this time. My is presently clear as can be and my anxiety is completely settled. I’ve not taken anymore medication I just turned the stimulator off. I will turn it back on at a much lower level shortly. 

“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.”

(1 Peter 4:12-13)