Challenges of Health Issues

I’m actually doing pretty well today. It’s been three days since my recent steroid injection, and for now, my physical and nerve pain are under control. But tonight, the real battle is in my mind. I just felt led to process it. I’m sure others with chronic health issues can relate.

Living with this is a roller coaster. I wake up knowing I can’t just make normal plans. Whether it’s getting up, sitting, standing, or even something simple like fishing it can all change in a moment. There’s almost nothing my condition can’t interrupt. I’m constantly having to listen to my body.

Most days, it feels like either my condition is on top of me, or by God’s grace, I’m on top of it. There’s rarely an in-between. There’s anxiousness, discomfort, disappointment and underneath it all, a quiet grief you have to process daily. Even after nearly 11 years, I’m still learning how to move this reality from my head into my heart.

What helps me the most beyond prayer is focusing on what I can do. I can live for Jesus, share Jesus, and point people to Jesus. I can let God use every part of my life, the good, the bad, and the uncomfortable. I can still walk, talk, love my family, and pastor others, even with limitations. Somehow, God uses my brokenness and my openness.

I know this: apart from God’s grace, I should be paralyzed. Apart from His grace, I should still be bedridden. Apart from His grace, I wouldn’t have the peace, purpose, and strength I still carry today.

I didn’t choose this life. It’s easier to walk with others in their pain than to face your own. But this is where I am, so I trust that God has allowed it for a reason. And if I’m where God wants me to be, then even this cannot rob me of His goodness.

I have to keep letting God’s promises renew my mind and lift my spirit every day. And I believe He is carrying me forward step by step.
I’m praying He does the same for you.

If you’re struggling, I hope this reminds you that you are not alone. Not in your pain, not in your frustration, not in your fight. God is writing your story and is never limited by your pain.

“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10