Fours years ago you could’ve never convinced me just how much my life would change. I’m not just talking about dealing with such life altering pain. I’m not talking about all the surgeries, injections, my spinal spinal stimulator or countless medical appointments. Sure, all those things have been surprising and very stressful in real time. However, I’m most shocked at the lifestyle changes I’m still having to make daily.
You see, I’m that guy most knew as Mr. Sweet Tooth. If you made a homemade cake, pie, or cobbler there was no one that would eat it faster. Man, I used to joke and claim that banana pudding was a vegetable. Now, here I am not just counting every calorie. I’m studying daily how sugar affects my body and making sure I eat the least amount possible.
A few years ago I was living wide open. I felt I was reaching my healthiest most thriving years. Now, I’m calculating my every step hoping I can endure another day. Seems I live in the bed or the bath. Every decision and move is an absolute fight of faith. I still can’t believe I’m having to get in this bed by 8pm every night.
In so many ways, I’m still at the graveside trying to say goodbye to the old me. Much like other griefs I’m shocked daily by the loss of my former health and life. Part of me still believes I could play tennis one day. Then, I stand up after a full night’s sleep and my legs tell me I’m crazy. The changes have been endless. Yet, I’m still believing and hoping tomorrow can be different.
Life has definitely changed in endless ways. Thank God I still have my wife, kids, ministry opportunity and can even still walk period. I certainly realize things can always get worse. But, my have things changed. It’s only confirmed that Jesus is the only constant peace, promise and hope for us all.
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Hebrews 13:8