Why Parents Need To Get Away ALONE

This weekend my wife and I will be getting away without our four boys. For months I’ve been waiting for our next getaway. One of my boys said, “Daddy you can’t go to Myrtle Beach without us, that’s not fair! You don’t love us?” I said, “Son, it’s because I do love you that we are getting away without you.” Of course, my 11 year old can’t fully understand all the reasons, but one day he will understand that our couple only getaways are very important and good for our family. Here are five reasons we “R” getting away this weekend without our four boys.


I’ve been on a lot of great family vacations with my four boys. We’ve made a lot of memories together and I look forward to our next family getaway this coming spring break. But, every time we get away on a family vacation with our boys ages 13, 11, 9, and 3 I come back completely exhausted. Most of what we do centers around the kids and there is not too much time for refreshment. We love our time with our boys, but we all need a vacation ourselves. We can have that when it’s the two of us. No alarm clock set, no kids to watch, and some long overdue adult relaxation.


A parent get away allows you not just time to rest, but to regroup. Usually we get a second wind and eventually we’re even ready to go home. During this time we can discuss better ways of approaching life, love, and parenting. We need to be away from normal life so that we can put things into an even healthier perspective. It’s hard to catch your breath when you’re busy running from one thing to the next. However, when it’s just the two of you there is more time and energy to process how life is going and how things might need to be adjusted.


We all know that the combo of work and parenting can be all consuming. Often times our marriages takes a back seat due to the many hats we all wear in everyday life. Only a parent only getaway allows the two of you to reconnect with one another. You can actually have a conversation without being interrupted. You can focus on one another instead of the day to day grind. If not constantly monitored, two people can live together for years and grow miles apart. Every couple needs intentional points of connection and sometimes reconnection.


Let’s be honest. It’s very hard to be romantic when you’ve got a kid screaming, a diaper to change, kids fighting, homework to get finished, or supper to prepare. Life can suck the romance clean out of any marriage and that is where marriages begin going downhill. The best gift you can give your children is a healthy marriage. Sure, they want to have fun, but at the end of the day they want you guys to be together for a lifetime. A couples only getaway done right allows you to remember how much you love each other and to rekindle that flame between the two of you.


I know many parents don’t want to recognize this reality, but one day your kids will grow up. And, when they do you will be left with the marriage relationship you did or did not develop. I remind myself often that I am raising my kids to live without me, not to live me forever. Hopefully, my wife and I will be living together for the rest of our lives. Everything we do in life should be done with the end in mind. Your marriage should be a top priority and a healthy marriage is one of the greatest gifts you can share with your children. Trust me, later they will be blessed by the health of your relationship in so many ways.

 *So, when is your next getaway, just the two of you?

2 Comments on “Why Parents Need To Get Away ALONE”

  1. Thanks again Craig for true words of wisdom. I often wondered how it was handling life with not 2 but 4 boys. It’s the parent vacations. (Trips with the children are holidays, as explained to me by friends in other countries.) I need to find time to do this more often.


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