Out Of Order
I am deeply sorry for the following. I apologize to my wife and I will be begging my kids for forgiveness. No, they didn’t tell me I have a problem, but a person knows when they are living life backwards. I’m afraid there are many more like me all around.
As I write this, I just finished a day that seemed like it would never end. Yes, I helped many people through crisis and encouraged many other families. However, I must admit that for weeks I have more than neglected my own family. For that I am not only deeply sorry, but I will be making some major changes.
Now, if most were observing my behavior they would probably let me off the hook. Saying, hey pastor you were just thinking about others and being there when others were down. They likely would say that from their view I was a very above average dad because at least I come home every day, don’t beat my wife, and I seek to be overall responsible in the way I handle my everyday affairs.
Yes, I try very hard to be a great husband and dad. However, nothing spells love more than TIME. And for some time I have been giving all my time to everyone else except my wife and kids. They have constantly watched me running from one urgent matter to the next. In the car, on the phone, at a funeral, preparing for my next sermon, writing my next article and always making room for someone else. The Bible I read says I’ve got a priority problem.
Now, we all have seasons that are more hectic than others. However, it’s when things become more than a season, but a way of life that we must look in the mirror. And, as I look deep into the mirror of God’s word I’ve decided these things must change.
#1: I will set healthy boundaries, doing everything I can to guard my time and use it wisely. I will not say yes to everything and everyone. I will say no as much as necessary in order to say yes to being the husband, dad, and spiritual leader of my home.
#2: I will make weekly appointments for quality time with my family. I have always believed strongly that every week there should be a designated family night or day. I believe I should put my own family on the calendar before I even make a single appointment with someone else.
#3: I will not work my life away. I love to get things done and I love to help people. I will not be one of those pastors who later wished he spent time with his own family. The greatest investment I can make is in the hearts of my four boys. I plan to raise them to know how to be Godly men and manage their own families. And, the past few weeks especially I have not been the family man I won’t them to be when they grow up.
I am so grateful for God’s grace. I’m also glad for God’s many wakeup calls where He shows us there is a much better way. I pray God uses my story to maybe help you should this be an area of your life that has gotten out of whack.