Is Your Marriage Normal?

10th Anniversary Cruise 2007

10th Anniversary Cruise 2007

I counsel with married couples often. Between their marriages and my own, here are some things I’ve discovered about normal marriages. Maybe you should check this to make sure your marriage is not abnormal. I pray it encourages your marriage in some way, shape, or form.

Your marriage is normal if you DISAGREE OFTEN.    Anytime you bring two people together who before lived separate lives expect disagreement to follow. Of course, prior to marriage you only see stars, look for the best, and often overlook things that may not be your cup of tea. Marriage is a journey of learning how to love beyond your differences. Only Christ can bring true unity.

Your marriage is normal if you SOMETIMES DON’T FEEL IN LOVE.      How many times do we hear someone say, “I just don’t feel in love anymore?” If every marriage partner lived by this motto, no one would stay married. Love is choice and in the context of marriage a commitment for better or worse.

Your marriage is normal if you THINK ABOUT DIVORCE.      I still remember my Grandma telling me that she never considered divorce, but she did consider murder. All kidding aside, thinking about divorce is pretty normal. Especially, when we base our viewpoint on momentary feelings.

Your marriage is normal if you OCCASSIONALLY GO ON STRIKE.      It often amazes me how quickly a relationship can come unglued. All it takes is two imperfect people who are determined to have their own way. Expect strike out moments, but learn how to work through tough seasons.

Your marriage is normal if you FACE ENDLESS CHALLENGES.      No marriage is exempt from temptation, stress, grief, and endless challenges. For this reason, you both need to be growing in your faith so that your marriage can survive the storms life will bring. I encourage you to attend a bible believing church, read your bible, and surround yourself with other couples who are seeking to work through things in a way that is pleasing to God. Then when the wind and waves come your way, your marriage will pass the test of time.

Your marriage is normal if you QUESTION YOUR COMPABILITY.     There is no denying that opposites often attract each other. When in God’s hands your differences can make a match made in Heaven. When in your hands your differences can make you feel a million miles apart. A happy marriage is not near as much about compatibility as it is learning how to love each other in an understanding way. Trust me, my wife and I are completely different in many ways. What we most share in a common is our commitment to marriage, each other, and especially God.

Your marriage is normal if you FEEL YOUR MARRIAGE IS ABNORMAL.      Maybe the only reason you took time to read this article was you wondered if your marriage is abnormal. If you can relate to anything I share above, welcome to this club called marriage. Marriage is a roller coaster journey that is worth every bit of your sweat, effort, and prayer. With God’s help your marriage can be healthy, happy, and last a lifetime.


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