Sometimes You Can’t Change A Thing
Presently I’m sitting in the parking lot of my pain specialist office. All I can do is pray that they will be able to adjust my spinal cord stimulator to the point it gets back to covering more of my nerve pain. Presently, I can feel every nerve within me screaming things just aren’t ok inside.
I knew when I got this surgical implant 2 months ago it wouldn’t fix everything. But, I still live with the hope that it can cover some pain and enable me to live a much better quality of life. Deep inside I know my body will never return to its healthiest form. But, I also know I serve a God who has no bounds to what He can do.
In the meantime, apart from God performing a miracle my hands are tied. Meaning there is nothing else I can do presently to change a thing. This reality compels me to stay on my knees. This reality compels me to trust in a never changing God in the midst of my ever changing circumstance. This reality compels me to looks for ways God can use this instead of me wasting time fighting with what I can’t change.
No, I don’t like the cross I’ve been called to bear. However, I remember that Jesus totally died on a cross so that I can have faith, hope, and love. So, here I go again free falling into the arms of my savior Jesus Christ who won’t ever let me go or let me down.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:1-3