A Nervous Wreck
The nerve damage within my body is so sensitive to everything. It’s triggered by every move, every thought, and even loud machinery. Awhile back my dad was grinding a stump nearby and it felt like he was literally grinding me. Within just a few minutes it took my pain from a level 4 to a level 8 out of 10.
I’ve said many times it’s as if someone has gone into my body, unplugged all my nerves, and plugged them all into the wrong outlets. The discomfort is so deep within the very fibers of my body. Understanding the surge throughout my body is a never ending mystery. It impacts my every thought and move.
I try my best to ignore it, but it’s just not possible most of the time. I told my counselor before that it’s like a form of paralysis. It simply hinders my life in so many ways. Most moments are just not enjoyable. However, I’m always grateful for what I can do.
Daily I’m learning how to live with this handicap. I’ve come to understand that many handicaps can’t be seen with the human eyes. Honestly you never really know what anyone is going through until you take the time to understand. Even still God is good. Even still God is faithful. Even still God is in control.
” I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:11-13)