My Recovery Merry-Go-Round


This cooler weather in the mornings literally wakes me up aching long before it’s time for my scheduled medication. I don’t even have to check the weather my body’s metal is it’s on barometer. Even this moment it’s like a wind chime in a hurricane. Dealing with the 24/7 battle of my health condition really is like being on a nonstop roller coaster. You certainly can’t allow your feelings to dictate your every move or you would never move.

Now, yes I have to listen to my body at every turn. It’s why I have no choice but to proactively take medication 4 times a day. It’s why I have to do everything possible to get at least 8 hours sleep a day even if it takes me 14 hours to get it. Yes, I spend often over 4 hours daily in a hot tub because it proactively stays on top of my pain before it totally destroys me. Yes, I have to make myself walk each day. Because if I only walked when I felt like it I would never even get out the bed. Yes, I keep writing about my recovery process because it’s critical to my sanity and I pray my journey might help someone else.

I just recently started back journaling my progress each day because otherwise it is impossible to tell one day from the next. Any healing is so slow and unrecognizable by most accounts. Especially when you’re waiting on nerves to regenerate or die. In fact, take away my meds and stimulator and nothing has changed whatsoever in 920 days. In fact, nearly 2 years ago I was better than I am now in what I could do before. But, I can promise you I’m not giving up on my recovery efforts. I will not quit trying everything I can until I’m out of breath to move forward. That said, let me try to rest off This morning’s discomfort once these morning meds kick in.

“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead..”
Philippians 3:13

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