A Constant Nightmare
The constant aching, itching, and disbelief moments just won’t stop. I wish it was just a dream, but my body reminds me its a reality. My lower back feels I’ve been kicked repeatedly by a pair of steel toe boots. My skin feels right on the verge of a wildfire. And, my stress odometer is at least reading 95 out of 100.
I’m in one of those seasons that no matter what I do I can’t calm the storm. All I can ask God to do is calm His child. My nerves are toasted in more ways than one. I just want the storm to be over. I just want life to return back to normal. Yet, that option has not been given to me at this time.
Life revolves around my health situation. Our family doesn’t even have it’s own home anymore. Enjoying a typical day means taking endless baths, sleeping when I can, and hoping to hold on to my sanity. I feel like I’m behind bars for some crime I didn’t commit. I’ve come to expect bad news at every doctor visit and test that awaits. Outside of prayer my only saving grace has been to focus on the praiseworthy in the midst of the constant nightmare.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”