Finding Hope When Things Don’t Change
I would be lying if I didn’t admit this entire journey has made my faith feel bogged down. It’s just human nature that after awhile of fighting the same battle you’re tempted to quit believing things can change. You wonder if your prayers even matter. Your Bible feels a little heavier to pick up and read. You become very heavy hearted over a situation that appears will never change.
At day 935 I’ve certainly loss most of my optimism and patience. I woke up today to my 6:30am medicine alarm feeling the exact same pains I’ve felt the entire time. The same pains I felt when I went to bed last night. It’s just a constant cycle of pain and more pain. I want out of this nightmare more than words can say. Yet, I know as much as anyone that this kind of thing can only come out by prayer.
I’ve consistently done all that I can do. However, I’ve got to keep my foot on the prayer pedal. I’ve got to keep saturating my mind with God’s book of promises. I’ve got to once again ask God to help me believe in the midst of my unbelief. Faith has never been about what we feel, see, or think. Faith is doing all that you can while trusting God for all that you can’t. It’s resting your entire hope in Jesus. Listen to this God story!
“One of the men in the crowd spoke up and said, “Teacher, I brought my son so you could heal him. He is possessed by an evil spirit that won’t let him talk. And whenever this spirit seizes him, it throws him violently to the ground. Then he foams at the mouth and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid. So I asked your disciples to cast out the evil spirit, but they couldn’t do it.”
Jesus said to them,“You faithless people! How long must I be with you? How long must I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.” So they brought the boy. But when the evil spirit saw Jesus, it threw the child into a violent convulsion, and he fell to the ground, writhing and foaming at the mouth.
“How long has this been happening?” Jesus asked the boy’s father. He replied, “Since he was a little boy. The spirit often throws him into the fire or into water, trying to kill him. Have mercy on us and help us, if you can.”
“What do you mean, ‘If I can’?”Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.” The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”
When Jesus saw that the crowd of onlookers was growing, he rebuked the evil spirit. “Listen, you spirit that makes this boy unable to hear and speak,” he said. “I command you to come out of this child and never enter him again!”
Then the spirit screamed and threw the boy into another violent convulsion and left him. The boy appeared to be dead. A murmur ran through the crowd as people said, “He’s dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and helped him to his feet, and he stood up.
Afterward, when Jesus was alone in the house with his disciples, they asked him, “Why couldn’t we cast out that evil spirit?” Jesus replied, “This kind can be cast out only by prayer.”