My Days Never Go As Planned


After spending several hours in the tub for relief I thought I felt up to watching a one hour comedy with my wife. After all, I’m typically not up to going out on a date or doing much else anymore. So, I figured I would seize my moment of strength and enjoy some laughs together. The first ten minutes had me smiling until my pain had me feeling miserable again. 

I’m talking the kind of pain that just leaves you nauseous and steals the joy right out of you. Fortunately, my wife is very understanding and low maintenance. She’s seen these moments of pain so much it feels normal. However, I can tell you that no matter how much i experience this kind of pain it never makes me feel normal. It just leaves me wondering what life might be like without such ongoing pain.

As I lay here on my side, nerve pain is shooting like lightning all throughout my body. My lower back aches terribly and it feels like I’ve got a huge metal plate stuck inside me. Trust me, I’m not complaining to you I’m just giving you a front window seat into my life. It’s now I’m reminded why I must seek help. I’m not going to live in denial and act like everything is great. God is great, but I’m still struggling big time. And, in a moment I will close my eyes and do what brings me the most present joy. I will with the help of medication go to sleep and hope tomorrow is easier than today!

“ I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”                                          (John 16:33)

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