No Longer Me

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A few years ago I could handle pretty much any crisis that came my way. Whether it be a sudden death, marriage crisis, or being the bearer of extremely bad news. It wasn’t that I enjoyed all those things happening, but I found great joy in helping others when they needed it the most. I truly felt called to go and do what most just don’t. Man have things drastically changed in my life.

Today, was just like hundreds of days before it. I’ve been in the bed or bath all day. Even the slightest crisis overwhelms me right now. In fact, even deep conversation about anything can create lightening all throughout my body. I’m still getting used to the clear evidence that I can’t handle even 25 percent of what I could 32 months ago. I just can’t believe how much things have changed.

Now, its like dealing with the total death of the old me. It’s like my slip and fall mimicked a really bad car wreck. Then, you wake up to discover a reality you just can’t comprehend. It’s depressing, painful, and completely life altering. Even as I write this my entire body is surging and vibrating with nerve pain. My pain is fueled even further if I try to approach life somewhat normal. In fact, right now my life is anything but normal. My only hope both now and forever is in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you—the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”
(Psalm 121)

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