We’ve all heard the saying “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.” I dearly miss the life I once had and the health I once enjoyed . It’s been so long since I’ve had that former life I’m really struggling to believe that I will ever have it again. I just constantly feel terrible. And, at this present time I only see a true miracle from above changing my current reality.

It’s not that I’ve lost faith that God can change things. I have begun losing some faith that God will change things. I don’t have the right to tell God what is best and will bring Him the most glory. I want so much to believe there will be a happy ending to this painful journey. But, will that happen this side or the other side of Heaven. I think the hardest things to grieve are things that you can’t just forget and move on. How can I when I’ve been sick so long and my pain only seems to be getting greater. Even still, I’ve got to trust in a God who loves me, has always taken care of me, and knows the plans He has ahead for me. It’s hard to swallow most of the time. But, my faith in a God who has never failed me before gives me hope.