How Long, O Lord?

99FF5C35-B5D1-4EFD-BFD6-A56CDFD01635Even with more than enough knockout nightly meds I’ve only been getting a little over 5 hours sleep the last five nights. This is at least 3 1/2  hours less than I was averaging before. I have no idea what the x-factor is that’s making the difference. I know it’s driving my wife crazy as she can here and feel my constant tossing and turning in the bed. That’s just one more way that my struggle is her struggle. 

My Neurodermititis (my nerve created rash) is still causing breakouts and itching all over. Even right now it’s driving me crazy. Doesn’t sound like there is any cure for it, but hopefully something can help it be relieved. That’s been putting me in the bath later at night to bring me some relief. It’s clearly stimulated by the intensity of my nerve pain among other things. I hate that I can’t even sit straight up or stand for more than 30 minutes at a time. That’s a difficult balancing act to maintain.

Add to this that the pain near my tailbone which is the tip of that nerve has flared back up. I really thought my previous shot knocked it out. But, it appears that was my stimulator helping. Right now I’m tossed between two different stimulator settings. I have one setting that runs 30 seconds on and is off 1 1/2 minutes. This stimulator setting helps the most, but ends up over stimulating leaving me nauseous and vibrating. I have another stimulator setting that only helps half as much, but doesn’t over stimulate me. It runs 30 seconds on and is off 5 minutes. 

No matter which setting I use my legs don’t hurt terribly, but my legs are extremely weak. I tell my wife that I often feel like I’m just dragging my legs. I’m praying my morning meds kick in soon and allow me to rest. My days seem so much shorter and easier when I can get more rest. Hoping this coming week my stimulator rep can create me a setting of pulses in between what I have to use right now. 

“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken. But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.”

(Psalm 13:1-6)

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