I Wasn’t Feeling It

img_0281Recently, I preached back to back Sunday morning services while sitting down. It’s done wonders for my back since we found a high comfortable chair. While I was more comfortable in my new chair I was less comfortable in my mind. My morning meds had a huge grip on my ability to concentrate. There’s nothing harder than preaching to a room full of people while struggling to feel confident inside. I was very sure of the message God had given me, but the devil was having a field day in my mind.

The entire time I was preaching I was praying. Dear God please don’t let my condition get in the way of your message. Please don’t let these people think I’m crazy as I struggle to stay focused. God please keep me strong and your message clear. It literally looked like everything around me was spinning. A few cups of coffee were simply no match for the Neurontin fog that had a hold of my brain. I struggled from beginning to end. I just kept praying God would override my weakness.

Afterwards, I had several people tell me the message really touched their heart. I told one person that I was really battling to focus and not feeling at all like being up on that stage. That I had to pray desperately for divine intervention. They said, “Like you said to us. It’s not always about how you feel, but having faith.” I guess that was simply God forcing me to literally practice what I was preaching. As I struggled to see clearly God was navigating for me.

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” (2 Corinthians 5:7)

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