3:30am And The Rain Continues
I’ve been fighting what I know is a spiritual attack from the enemy all night. The intensity of the attack has been relentless. I finally got my physical pain under control three hours ago. However, I’ve had to sleep sitting up in my bed all night due to my heart feeling like it’s nonstop racing. I know this is due to the medications I had to take.
My wife bless her heart never leaves my side or let’s go of my hand during these times. It’s such a blessing to always have her by my side. Praise God she recognizes this kinda night is not typical anymore. She doesn’t try to fix me or take lightly my struggle. She just seeks to be a calming presence and helping hand. It’s amazing and inspiring to see what she has made look so easy over the past three years.
I’m still sitting up trying to sleep as it remains my calmest position. I’m just so sensitive to most medications and usually have every side effect ever mentioned. Even still I know that tonight is just one tough night. I’ve been blessed with many good nights the past few months. My head has continuously nodded in and out of sleep. I’m confident that soon I will get some quality sleep.
Praise God my ability to cope has changed so much. My peace from God remains so strong. I have learned how to find true joy no matter what the circumstance. God continues to be so good to me and so much better than I deserve.
(Psalm 143:8-12) “Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you. Rescue me from my enemies, Lord; I run to you to hide me. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life. Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress. In your unfailing love, silence all my enemies and destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.”