I know two pastor’s wives really well. One gave birth to me and raised me. The other married me and continues to raise me. I’m pretty certain my mom and wife would confirm I’m not joking about the continual raising me part. So, I’ve had two unique view points of pastors wives. I’ve seen one as a son and the other as a spouse. Here are some things I know for sure.
One, it’s just not easy to be them. I knew twenty five years ago when I accepted God’s call into the ministry that I couldn’t just marry anyone. My mom was above average and I knew my wife would need to be as well. I would need a wife that felt mutually called to the ministry. For while they don’t have to be the pastor they do have to deal with the pastor. They have to deal with the ups and downs of an ever changing ministry. They have to deal with the critics and those who demand the pastor’s time and energy. They often sit in the back seat while the pastor gets credit for being in the front seat.
Two, it’s a very thankless role. A great pastor’s wife is what sustains a healthy pastor. She is truly his helpmate and missing rib. The one who loves him unconditionally regardless what others think. The one he can be real and raw with about life. The one he can share his struggles and burdens with daily. So many see the pastor, but they overlook the pastor’s wife who keeps him together.
Finally, the pastor’s wife is often the pastor at home. She is the one that holds the home fort down. She provides the most consistent love, support, and training to everyone. The preacher leans on her and so do her children. Everyone in the house knows that daddy may preach the message, but momma embodies it. She is the steady heartbeat and behind most key moments. She is the one home caring for the home sheep while the pastor is out trying to reach lost sheep.
My friends there is no way to measure her worth. The shoes she fills were made just for her. Her husband thanks God everyday for such a gift. For to do this thing called life and ministry alone would simply be unbearable. She is deserving of greater praise than she will ever receive this side of Heaven. And, one day she will hear those priceless words “Well done thy good and faithful servant.”
“Her husband is well known at the city gates where he sits with the other civic leaders. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. “She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.” (Proverbs 31:23-31)