I don’t understand what is going inside of me. It’s like I’m plugged into an electrical outlet. With no warning or request for my permission. My body just won’t quit vibrating and making me crazy. God knows I would give anything to get off this roller coaster of pain.
No doubt that God has used my pain many times. Even if it stopped for good it would be a part of my lifetime story. It’s refined my life in so many ways. I’m just trying not to let it define my life. In these moments my vision is so blurred and my insecurities revealed. I’m forced to feel naked and afraid.
God knows I hate this feeling. God knows I’m tired of this battle. God knows I trust Him with this battle. That my body is weak, but my spirit is wiling. God knows what He is doing even when I have no clue. I just have to once again free fall into His loving arms.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6