The Worse Days Of My Life

The hardest days to push through are those you feel nothing but miserable. Yet, you have to find a way to push through anyway. In the moment, you just can’t see yourself making it another step. Even to get up feels like a challenge. Trying to show up feels nearly impossible.

Today has definitely been one of my most miserable days ever. I am certain that I’ve had a few much worse days in the past. It’s just present misery always seems to trump misery in the past. I’ve taken everything I can now just hoping to drift off to sleep soon. It’s very easy for me to see why most people with similar conditions just drown themselves in whatever numbs their pain.

The roughest times feel so much more unbearable now. Mainly because I have been able to experience much greater relief the past several weeks. Right now I’m just holding on for dear life while praying for God’s deliverance. I find it nearly impossible to describe to most people what it feels like for my entire nervous system to feel out of line. Plus, to know there is not a single thing I can do about it for the rest or your life. I’m still confident in my God and this spinal cord stimulator. Together they will get my nervous system back on track.

“ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

2 Corinthians 12:9

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