Calm Yourself Down

These were the words of my loving, patient wife earlier that needed to be said. Only problem with that request is I can’t always control my body or emotions with this level of pain. I woke up this morning with radiating nerve pain in the lowest nerves in my spine. I knew it was seeking to take me down. Sadly, that old familiar pain has reared its head again. Something must be done sooner than later. This is not the type pain you can even possibly ignore.

I’ve made a phone call to my pain specialist. Due to their busyness I’m having to wait for a call back after leaving a voice message. I’m praying I can get the soonest appointment available. I’m hoping that insurance will approve another shot ASAP. With the frequency I obviously need these shots I can’t afford to pay cash.

For now I’m just breathing in and out deeply. First thing I did earlier when I got up and felt this pain was hit my knees. Of course, the enemy hopes I lose my mind and feel hopeless. Satan preys I let this pain consume me and devour me. While I must respect it, I will not let the devil win. I will choose to let God calm me and use the pain for His allowed purposes.

We all long for total healing from such struggles. But, you reach a point where you have to learn how to continually walk through the pain. Even if it’s breathtaking it’s my cross to bear. Jesus always has greater purpose with every cross he calls us to take bear while following him. I do hate every second of this pain. However, I’ve got to practice and trust what I preach and totally believe in myself. God has and will keep calming me down when I can’t do so for myself.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7

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