I’ve Not Drowned Yet

Sitting here trying to finish up sermon preparation for Sunday. Early this morning I couldn’t have felt more confident and clear about things. I just knew God was feeding me life changing words to share. Throughout my day many things served as great distractions. It was like trying to focus on something while flies come at your face from every direction.

All day long I’ve had to keep rocking, moving, twisting and trying to sit comfortably. Seeking to dodge this pain is like being in the middle of a constant dodgeball game. I’ve used ice or heat countless times hour by hour. Once I got the pain bearable I was flooded with a vision fog I still can’t remove. I’m hoping to wrap things up, but I just keep running in place. My medications and condition make focus, clarity or confidence totally impossible.

In the past, I would just be saying what is going on with me. However, this has been going on week after week for three years and ten months. It blows my mind to even realize how long I’ve actually been dealing with such madness. It also reminds me how much only God has made anything possible. Somehow God has made the unbearable, bearable. He’s made the seemingly impossible, possible. Every time I feel like I’m going to drown God steps in and parts the Red Sea again.

“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” (Isaiah 43:2)

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