Just Another Crossroads
I feel like I’ve been in this place a thousand times before. That place where nothing in my body feels right. That place where I’m not sure how much longer I can live this way. That place where Satan wants me to feel totally hopeless while I’m fighting to feel hopeful. Then, I’m reminded that it’s just another crossroads experience.
I’ve not been writing a lot recently for several reasons. One, the times I ever started writing my body was just too exhausted to finish. Two, I’m in that place where it’s not good that I feed my pain anymore negativity. Three, I’m so disheartened at times that it’s actually left me feeling speechless.
Very calmly I’m able to say that my silence doesn’t mean I’ve gotten any worse. There’s no doubt I’ve had many, many days in the past that I’ve felt much worse than today. However, I woke up today just tired of never feeling great. Sick of having this storm cloud hanging over me. Anyone that has dealt with chronic pain or illness very long understands what I’m saying. After awhile you just get tired of dealing with constant issues associated with your condition.
However, quitting is still not an option. I’m going to keep seeking to take the next God led step. I’m going to keep walking by faith through every crossroads. Even when I’m not sure of myself or how anything will ever change. Only God knows the purpose of this lingering storm. I’m fully confident that if I continue trusting Him. Everything will work out for my good and His glory. God help me to keep trusting you fully with each crossroads. For you’ve proven your constant faithfulness in every one in the past.
“This is what the LORD says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls.” Jeremiah 6:16