Nerves Are Fried Again
Well, I was asleep for an hour or more. Suddenly, my nervous system literally woke me up going completely crazy. Every part of my body has been constantly vibrating. The least little sound, movement and even my own voice sends me into orbit. This experience is like having an internal earthquake that is way off the charts.
When my nerves get this way there’s very little I can do. I have already thrown every bit of medication I have at this fire. All I can do now is sit up, pray and try to process my emotions. It’s one of those things you just can’t fully explain. It’s like having an internal seizure that seems to have no end. You feel trapped in your own body as you pray for the storm to calm down.
This makes three nights in a row that have been very painful. This stuff tonight makes you feel crazy. You don’t feel like yourself and definitely don’t feel in control. I’m afraid this fluid commotion has been building up for days. History has taught me certain factors that likely brought this own.
My stress level has been very high. My days have been very long. My eating habits have not been the consistently what they should be. My intake of any daily caffeine always serves as a threat. Sadly, today I drank an energy drink for the first time in a long time. I knew I was playing with fire and it could cause me to eventually crash.
There’s something about taurine, caffeine and sugar that can crash my entire nervous system. The good news is I’m calming down even as I write this for you. Also, I’m so glad I know things I can do to hopefully prevent this from happening again. So many times in the past I just felt hopeless, clueless and desperate in these moments.
Now, I know better what can get things settled back down with time. I’m drinking lots of water to flush out my system. I will stay away from sugar and caffeine. I will seek to stay away from inflammatory foods and drinks. I will get back to living a recovery lifestyle.
Sometimes you need these awakening moments to remember your reality. I can no longer just do things in a normal fashion. This is a thorn in my flesh that’s always a constant threat that my health. I’ve got to live with a new normal perspective. I need to be grateful for what I can do and actively live aware of things I shouldn’t do. Even these tough times are purposeful in God’s hands.
“So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.
Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:7-10