I’m Not There Anymore
It’s actually been a couple years since I’ve blogged consistently about my life altering pain. Before, I lived with day and night torture from sun up to sun down. I spent over four years straight just trying to remain sane through the pain. After countless doctors appointments, surgeries, shots, counseling and daily physical therapy. I really didn’t think I could get any better without an absolute miracle.
This morning I looked back at one of my nerve wrecking post from days gone by in extreme pain. Within seconds my heart ached as I remembered the constant pain I use to endure. Honestly, I really wondered if I could ever smile consistently again. Yes, I was trying my best to walk by faith. But, sometimes all you can see is what’s appears to be wrecking your life. I was a nervous wreck for sure at that time.
Praise God, I’m not there anymore. Yes, I still battle limitations and anxiety related to my permanent nerve damage. But, I am so far beyond where I used to be. I wake up each day knowing I am so blessed. God continues to rebuild my life. Yes, I’m weaker in some ways. Yet, I’m so much stronger in many other ways because of my painful journey.
Now, I don’t know where life may find you right now. But, please be assured that God is still in control. You can get stronger and God can heal you further. You just need to choose to believe that God has a purpose for your pain. Everyday, choose to put your little hand in God’s big hand. Daily keep doing all that you can while trusting God to do all that you can’t. God will take you further than you can take yourself. I’m praying for you and God is with you.
“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31
Pastor Craig Crosby 
Thank you for your blog. I just found it because I searched, “Why am I being tortured?” I do not think what I am going through is as bad as what you experienced, but it is unpleasant and I don’t really understand it nor could easily explain it.
Like you, I do not lose my trust in God. But I have cried to Him that He would come back quickly and we could be done with all of this. But I felt He told me to be patient.
“Yet a little, little while and the One who is coming will come and will not tarry.”
Hebrews 10:37
I am glad to read that things have gotten better for you. I look forward to meeting you in the Millenium.
Peace, Joy,
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