Honesty Is Hard Sometimes

I’ve gotten to a point in my journey where sometimes I just don’t want to talk about my health struggles anymore. It is such a roller coaster full of ups and downs. However, it seems the down times hurt a lot deeper when they wreck my nervous system. Here I am again only sharing this update out of obedience to God.

I’m lying on my side with my entire body vibrating. I had to turn off my spinal cord stimulator again. I’m literally out of breath and feeling so deflated inside. While I’ve experienced this level of misery so many times, it honestly never gets easier.

Fortunately, I now have a lot of experience and faith underneath me. I know this storm cloud will pass. I will wake up tomorrow ready to preach. But, the pain is so discouraging and uncomfortable right now. I want so much to wake up and be cured of this condition. Yet, I know that’s not gonna happen until I get to Heaven.

There’s someone reading this right now that can identify with every word I’m sharing. You just don’t feel like you can get through your present condition that affects you physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally, and spiritually. Trust me, God will take you through every trial this life brings. I can’t tell you how many times God has picked me up when all I had was feelings of hopelessness.

Put your little hand in God’s big hand and keep it there. Know that your pain has purpose behind what any of us can comprehend. Don’t be afraid to be honest with those around you. God will strengthen you, renew you and keep taking care of you. Faith walking is not about you feeling in control. It’s about realizing that God is in control no matter how things feel or appear to you.

“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4

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