Keep Pushing Through
My increase in medications helped me at first. Then, I decided 5 days ago that I wanted to cut those additional meds in half due to the brain fog they were giving me. After being wore down day after day with uncontrolled nerve pain. I’ve realize today I have no choice moving forward. So, starting tonight I will optimistically add the other half of that medication the doctor prescribed.
Throughout the past 8 years my condition has led to so many ups and downs. I’ve experienced some very low points and many victory moments. This nerve condition doesn’t just make your entire body ache. It can makes you cry inside without a tear falling. It can make you feel like your quality of life has come to an end.
This morning the devil really jumped on top of my great vulnerability and started pounding me. I felt paralyzed with fear if I’m completely honest. I was listening way too much to my feelings and forgetting all God has done before. God began speaking clearly the following to me.
God said, “You remember that time 5 years ago you told your wife there was nothing more you could do to improve. That you might as well accept that your pain would define the rest of your life. Son, I resurrected your life then and I will do it again. Don’t let your momentary feelings dictate your faith in me.”
Well, the nerves are still raging, but I’ve been here so many times before. Right now, I’m having to borrow from yesterday’s faith so I can overcome today’s struggles. Yes, this is a cross I wish I didn’t have to bear. Yes, it changes life as I used to know drastically. But, GOD IS STILL GOD and I will trust him until my last earthly breath. I can’t wait to see what God is going to continue to do despite my great weakness. As my youngest just said praying with me. “God just heal daddy again and do what only you do best.”
There are many times in life that all you can do is push through. With God’s help you will make it through. Even my doctors have no explanation for how I’m still able to do so much with my degree of permanent nerve damage. That’s when I know it’s simply the power and grace of God at work day in my life.
Please, when you read anything I write don’t feel sorry for me. Just know I understand life crippling pain. I also know God can take me through anything. I believe that for you and your situation too. Keep pushing through by faith, keep praying and keep your little hand in God’s big hand.
“Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:8-10