Can’t Catch A Break
January 7th, 2018
Well I’m back in my daily favorite spot soaking in a hot tub just hoping to ease the pain. Preaching two services today took every bit of energy I could muster. But, with God’s help I made it through and I trust He used my brokenness.
I’ve been up since before 4am when my body woke me up. My legs have hardly been under me and twice today I came close to slipping and falling. All I can say is I had to jump on God’s back and let Him carry me all day. Despite the recent snow and ice on the roads I was surprised with how many people came out for worship.
If there is one thing God has taught me over the past two years it’s that He doesn’t need me He just chooses to use broken people like me. He has done so much that I simply can’t take credit for during my struggles. He’s held me, my marriage, family, and ministry together. He has used many to fill in the gaps I had no chance of filling.
Right now my entire lower body is shot and literally buzzing with nerve pain. Everything is totally working against that changing anytime soon. My stimulator desperately needs adjusting. I can’t get the necessary walking I need daily because of the weather. The pain shot I got a few weeks ago has ultimately done nothing. I’ve not been getting great rest at night. I can’t do physical therapy with my present pain, but I’m still being made to go tomorrow by Workman’s Compensation. And we’re talking an hour drive one way and driving is the worst thing for my condition.
Sometimes you just feel like you can’t catch a break. But, when you know you’re doing all you presently can you can have peace. And, when you’re sure God is definitely gonna do His part you can look with hope forward. God knows that if I went by my feelings alone I would fall completely apart. But I’ve learned that solves nothing and that I just need to stay in a constant state of prayer.
God I know I’m not the only one on here feeling one step away from collapsing. Give us all faith to believe and strength to go on. Remind us that we don’t have to be perfect just totally surrendered to you.
“Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up.”