The Biggest Storm Of My Life

Storm-at-the-beacon

What I’m about to say I know many of you can relate. Personally I’m in the biggest storm of my life. I’m extremely miserable about 70 percent of the time. The other 30 percent of the time I’m asleep. My body feels like it’s burning from the inside out. It still appears that someone has gone inside my nervous system breaker box and rearranged every wire wrong.

I really thought by now the worst days would be behind me. Instead, I’m having to hold on to Jesus’ hand for dear life. The waves around me are constantly crashing over my head. I keep telling my wife I just don’t know how much more I can take. This storm has gotten me physically, emotionally, and mentally sick. Honestly, the level of vibrating pain sensations leave me often feeling like I could throw up any minute. Sorry if this sounds exaggerated, but it’s truly how I feel most days.

Even still, I know Jesus is in the boat with me. I know He is close to my broken heart. I know He is giving me the strength to carry on. I know He alone is holding me together. And, I know at any moment He could calm this storm in a heartbeat. But, for reasons beyond my full comprehension this storm continues to wreck my body while only Jesus calms my soul.

(Matthew 8:23-27) “Then Jesus got into the boat and started across the lake with his disciples. Suddenly, a fierce storm struck the lake, with waves breaking into the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” Jesus responded, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm. The disciples were amazed. “Who is this man?” they asked. “Even the winds and waves obey him!”

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