3 Traits Of A Great Caregiver
While making it through anything difficult your support system is always critical. I know I would not be near as sane or strong without mine. My support system is a collective group of family, friends, and of course Jesus. But, while imperfect I believe my wife is the absolute perfect caregiver when it comes to helping someone battle through ongoing pain, suffering, and depression. I would like to share how she helps me as it might help someone else know how they can better support their loved one.
One, she doesn’t make me feel any worse. Meaning she recognizes that I’m doing everything I can to get better. She recognizes I’m in a very tough season. She recognizes that I already feel overwhelmed and she does her best not to throw on me any unnecessary burdens that could cause me to further crumble.
Two, she seeks to understand my struggle. Now, no one can fully understand something they’ve not personally experienced. But, my wife is very considerate of things she knows are beyond my limits. She helps me avoid things that have proven to set me back in my recovery. She understands that chronic pain is unpredictable and she has learned to expect the unexpected. If I can’t do something or go somewhere she understands it’s due to my present condition. She is a great listener and therefore a very understanding caregiver. She never makes me feel bad about a limitation I can’t control.
Three, she embodies patience. She realizes healing takes time. When I’m at my worst she gives me the greatest grace. She has never said in 28 months of recovery “I’m tired of you being sick.You need to hurry up and get better soon or I’m leaving.” Instead, she is patiently loving “for better or worse.” This kind of patience allows a very sick person the time and room necessary for healing.
Now, I could go on and on about how my wife supports me. But, the main theme is she seeks to love me forward not push me back. She seeks to unconditionally love me in an understanding way. And she understands that just her prayers and presence by my side does wonders for my healing.
“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”