In A Heavyweight Battle
For the first time in my life I’m dealing with something I can’t just rest away. I can’t just wait and expect it to go away. When I go to sleep it’s still there with me. When I wake up it’s still here with me. I would give anything for a new body. Even after 9 1/2 hours of tossing and turning sleep it’s still with me.
Nerve pain continues to run through both hands down through both feet. The itching never goes away and my energy is gone before my feet ever hit the floor. The greatest of pains is how deep it’s gotten into my head and heart. Mentally I’m fried just from the longevity of this unpredictable journey. In my heart I’m just so discouraged as my issues have stolen much of my joy.
But, deep within I know I’m in the biggest spiritual battle of my life. One that I can’t just win by sleeping longer or trying harder. One I can’t just win relying on doctors or medications. I’ve got to stay on my knees in prayer. I’ve got to rely on the promises found in God’s word. I’ve got to have faith like I’ve never had before that God will make a way where there seems to be no way. I’ve got to remember that I’m not just anybody, but I’m a spiritually reborn child of the Most High. I’ve got to remember that I’m not on the bench, but I’m in God’s workshop as He reshapes me for His greater purposes. It’s not fun, it’s not easy, but it’s where I’m at every minute of my life right now.
“He must become greater and greater. I must become less and less.”