I Hate How I Feel, BUT
If I’m honest, I totally hate the way I feel from sun up to sun down. Why? Because there is never a moment I’m not feeling uncomfortable. My nerve pain literally drives me crazy and escalate by even the slightest of sounds or movements. I can’t think of anything I’m really able to enjoy. I can’t think of many things I can actually do because of my health issues. BUT I still believe God wants to use this platform in so many ways.
Moment by moment, I’m feeling compelled to give God full control of all I just simply can’t control. I’m having to free fall into the arms of Jesus like never before. I hate the constant aching and hurting, but I love to see God at work in my life. Taking my faith deeper than it’s ever gone. Preparing me so that I can handle anything life throws my way. Drawing me closer into a relationship with Him instead of me just having a works based religion.
What God is taking me through will benefit so many others I deal with in ministry for years to come. I can now better understand those depressed. I know what’s it’s like to feel sick all the time and like life is passing you by. I know what it’s like to just feel so sick day after day that you really don’t care to see anybody or do anything. But, I also know the platform it gives you if you seize the opportunity. You see it’s in your pain that you grow the most and that God actually expands your opportunities to testify to His greatness.
“ Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4