I Apologize For Wallowing
I readily admit that when severe pain grips you it’s very hard to see beyond it. However, over time I’ve learned the difference between wallowing in your pain versus working through it. First, let me apologize for allowing Satan to take me down the wallowing lane recently. The past few days have been very tough. But, the way I’ve processed that toughness has not been healthy. Let me explain the difference between wallowing and working through things.
Wallowing by definition means to roll oneself about in a lazy, relaxed, or ungainly manner. What I’ve chosen to do the last few days is to just soak in my pain. I’ve allowed it to control my every thought, mood, and action. My wallowing has fixed nothing, but it has been producing a defeated mindset. It wouldn’t have taken a lot more wallowing to have totally stolen my joy and recovery momentum. Without me even realizing it my wallowing was slowly drowning me in my own self pity.
Now, to work through your pain is completely different. Yes, you’ve got to process and confess at times what’s really happening inside. But, you also need to be careful that you don’t let your pain paralyze you. You have to take intentional steps towards dealing with things in a positive fashion. You can’t just lay there and let your praying knees get lazy. You’ve got to keep doing things that allow you to work through your pain towards positive progress.
Today, by far was one of my worst days in quite awhile. I felt like I was drowning in my pain and that I couldn’t do anything about it. Then, God opened my eyes and led to me to get out of my wallowing cycle. I knew I needed to get out of the house and do some kind of exercise. Almost six days had passed since I last went for some pool therapy. So, even while I still felt terrible I packed my bathing suit and headed for the pool. Just as I expected, it moved me once again from wallowing in my pain back to working through my pain. Mentally, I feel completely different and physically I know I just took another step in the right direction. Thank you Jesus for continuing your work despite my recent wallowing.
“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”