Life In The Desert
It’s as if my body has an internal alarm clock set to ignite the flames within. Then, I know what’s about to start shooting through my veins like poisonous venom. As each minute and hour passes it’s like having a constantly flowing IV slowly sucking the very life out of me. Underneath my skin is crawling with nerve pain that makes every part of my body miserable. It typically starts in my hands and feet then flow through my legs and ultimately into my face. Unfortunately, this is where it already stands right now.
I do everything I can to stop it and not focus on it. But, it’s like asking someone to ignore the side effects of chemotherapy and radiation. You can’t ignore how it makes you feel. All you can do is try to momentarily numb the pain or let the misery escalate until you’re desperate for relief. I pretty much choose the latter option daily because apart from something that totally knocks me out all the time nothing is going to change. As each day passes I think to myself, How much more can I really take before I have to turn to something really extreme?
Therefore, here I sit like someone whose been lying in the driest desert for ages desperate for a drop of water. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I know who holds tomorrow. I don’t know how I will handle the next hour, but I’m trusting God to once again handle things for me. Someone reading this right now knows exactly what I’m talking about. Whether it be from absolute physical, emotional, or mental exhaustion. You don’t know how everything is going to work out. However, you’ve seen time and time again that God always works things out. And, that’s all you need to remember to walk that next step by faith.
“Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief. Do not bring your servant into judgment, for no one living is righteous before you. The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in the darkness like those long dead. So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed. I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land. Answer me quickly, Lord; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. Rescue me from my enemies, Lord, for I hide myself in you. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. For your name’s sake, Lord, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble. In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.” (Psalm 143)