Jesus I Still Believe, BUT



I Keep This Sample Stimulator Battery By My Bedside.

It’s 9:30 pm on a Tuesday night as I begin writing these God led words. Here I am again, lying on my side waiting on the beyond agonizing pain to settle down. It always feels like someone unexpectedly jumped me from behind and started beating me head to toe. I finally had to take a Valium on top of my other meds in hopes of calming myself down. This, after seeing another amazing God-made day even in the midst of being home bound and constantly in discomfort.

In these moments so much goes through your mind. You wonder if it will always be this way. You wonder if you can even still function with such severe pain and constant full body breakdowns. These are moments you can’t ever predict, but always know are possibilities. The longer they go on the more satan seeks to get into your head. Thank God, my sleepy meds are taking me out for the night that I could not bear otherwise. To be continued…

It’s now 5am Wednesday morning and my extreme pain has played my alarm clock once again. I’m back on ice and living on a prayer like Bon Jovi and Jesus highly suggested. Fortunately, I know my God is able to always calm His child. I know God can work despite my condition and even through my condition. None of what I’m going through takes my loving Heavenly Father by surprise. He saw these days coming way before I was ever born. I still believe in His faithfulness, grace, miracle power and amazing plans. Despite the hellacious moments, God brings me constant hope. Jesus, I still believe in you for everything I need and more, but I need you to help me through my periodic unbelief moments.

“Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I do believe; but help my unbelief!”
(Mark 9:23-24)


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