Confessions Of A Broken Pastor
I’ve known for a long time that God has placed a huge call on my life. I’ve always tried with all of my heart, mind, soul, and strength to carry out God’s will. Honestly, I think I’m just really learning how to get out of God’s way and allow Him to have His way in my life. This revelation didn’t happen by accident, but by God purposely allowing me to become broken.
Every morning it’s just hard to even get out of bed. And, once I do get up my daily medications make me quickly want to lay back down. Every step in my life right now is difficult, painful, and an uphill climb. Even still I believe God is using me more now than before. While all I can really do is prepare to preach each Sunday I’m finding great joy in encouraging and equipping others for God’s work. I really believe that’s what God wanted me to be doing all along. But, it took me 25 years of ministry and total brokenness to embrace this approach. Bottom line is I had to decrease and Christ needed to increase.
I honestly have no idea what the future holds for my health. But, I do know who holds the future and I trust Him with every step in front of me. I’ve learned the best thing I can do is just free fall into the arms of Jesus. Somehow, He keeps picking me up and carrying me further than I can carry myself. Many look at me and think I’m such a rock, but the truth is I’m just holding on to the rock of ages. So, while I am broken, bruised, limping, and crawling forward. I do so in full faith that God has a plan regardless of my list of uncertainties about today or tomorrow.
“Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal.(Isaiah 26:4)