I Have No Clue, Yet I’m Ok
Most of you know that my journey with my health issues has been a flat roller coaster ride. I know what it’s like to wake up from a major surgery and wonder who attempted to beat you to death. I know what’s it’s like to not be able to walk for 8 days straight. I know what it’s like to push a walker around 2 miles everyday for 30 days straight. I know what it’s like to feel like you’re finally at the top of the mountain in recovery only to roll completely backwards right back to where you started.
I know what it’s like to be told you are permanently disabled and things will never change due to your severe nerve damage. I know what it’s like to get up each morning just wondering if you can get up. I know what it’s like to cry my eyes out daily over things I can’t control and must walk through by faith. I know what it’s like for everything that was familiar in my life before to be taken seemingly overnight. I know what it’s like to simply wonder if I can keep fighting a seemingly losing battle.
I know what it’s like to have no clue where things are headed because it’s where I’m living right now.
However, it truly is ok because I’ve learned so much on this journey. I know that no matter what God will provide. I know that God will always give me the strength to take the next right step. I know that even when I’m flat on my back God is still at work. I know that no matter what tomorrow brings I know who holds tomorrow. I know how to walk with Jesus, totally trust Jesus, and release everything to Jesus. I have no clue what the upcoming future holds, but I know I will be ok as long as I keep putting my little hand in God’s great big hand.
“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”