Help Me Choose Joy
The last 1 1/2 hours has not been good. Nerve pain rolling through like an unwelcome hurricane. You never get used to it you just get used to dealing with it. I hate to say it, but my best condition is called sleep. It still pains me to say those words, but it pains me even more to be awake.
I feel like I’m part of a constant juggling act. I can’t sit up longer than 30 minutes in my own bed before the bees of nerve pain attack me violently. I can’t stand up but so long without paying a huge price. And, I can’t lay down comfortably with ease without heavy medication. Even now my heart is racing and I’m just totally uncomfortable in my own skin.
Asking how much longer is the temptation of my heart. Not because I’m questioning God, but I just hate feeling this way. Every time I’m this way I’m praying it’s the last time. However, isn’t that the case for any time of suffering. Especially the seasons of difficulty that keep going on and on. So, once again dear Heavenly Father I choose to take joy knowing deep in my heart You are doing something great.
“Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.”