My Body Keeps Failing Me
It’s 2am and my body is literally throbbing all over. Despite taking my knock you out for the night medication hours ago. Despite my stimulator running as well as ever recently. I just keep learning over and over again. I can’t drive or sit in any position more than 30 minutes without paying for it miserably. I guess the doctor is right when he says I should make sure I change positions every thirty minutes during the day.
It’s just human nature that if you feel some better than usual, then one would think they are some better. Except if any relief you’re feeling is only due to being partially masked by your medications and stimulator implant. The reality of my permanent nerve damage keeps rearing it’s ugly head. Keeps letting me know that apart from divine intervention the old me is dead.
This just kills me as I long to be a great husband, father, son, brother, friend, and minister. It’s very hard to operate with great patience when you’re always on edge from feeling such great pain. I’m so blessed by all the opportunity and love that surrounds. Yet, my body keeps failing me over and over again. The great disappointment rains daily on my parade. I guess we all want to think that time will heal all wounds. The truth is some things you don’t get over, but God does take you through. Lord, I continue to beg and believe You for my miracle. While my body may fail me I know You never will.
“Have mercy on me, LORD, for I am faint; heal me, LORD, for my bones are in agony.”