It’s Getting Much Darker In The Closet

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Please allow me to be human. I can finally see why people have breaking points. I’ve been one step away from my own for quite awhile. But, it’s getting so much harder to breath, handle, and continue processing. Presently, I’m not living, I’m simply surviving. I do whatever I can to make it through the next day in front of me. In fact, just the next minute has become a chore.

I’m not just overwhelmed I’m miserable. There is no let up in my agony and pain. In fact, it’s only been getting worse. There is no sign of hope that will change anything, anytime soon.  I would pay any amount of money for relief. I would do whatever possible for things to get better. But, for now I’m stuck in this prison of suffering.

I know there are many who have it way worse than me. I know I have so much to be thankful for in my life. However, it’s getting darker, lonelier, and my misery is reaching an epic level. I have no doubt God is using this Hell I’m going through. But, my humanity is screaming for relief and rescue. God knows I’m trying my absolute best. God knows I can’t personally handle anymore. 

“I hate my life. I will freely express my complaint. I will speak as bitterly as I feel.” (Job 10:1)

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