Right this moment I’m simply trying to do anything I can to take my mind off my pain. I’ve decided to do a little dreaming and praying. What if I didn’t feel absolutely miserable? What if I could do anything that didn’t involve this bed of misery? What if I were healthy enough to do whatever I wanted? What if?

First, I would take my wife out as much as possible. We would just head out to do things fun together that didn’t involve discussing my pain. We would thoroughly enjoy one another’s company. I wouldn’t have to worry about my pain ruining our conversation and connection. I just love that lady so much and I pray so much this becomes reality.

Secondly, I would load up my boys and head out for some fun. Maybe we could ride some go karts together? Maybe we could play some basketball, tennis, or toss around a baseball? This time of year, I would have to get out on the water and do some fishing. Pretty much anything that gives us some quality, enjoyable moments together would be awesome.

Thirdly, I would spend quality time with my parents. Time that doesn’t involve me being transported to another doctor’s appointment. Time that doesn’t involve discussion about my struggles, but their struggles. God willing one day I will get to be there for them like they’ve always been there for me.

Fourthly, I would get back to another thing I miss terribly. I would get back out to pastoring people the way God has wired me to do. I miss meeting people in hospitals or homes by the bedside of illness where they desperately need a ministry of presence. I miss helping marriages on the verge of crashing find hope. I even miss preaching funerals in a way that helps grieving loved ones find comfort and peace. I just missing loving on and being around people. It’s all I ever knew for years before this pain entered my life. And I miss it dearly!

Last but not least, I would enjoy exercising and taking care of my physical health. Walking, running, swimming, and getting back to playing tennis would top the list. I would take part in a few fun runs per year. I would hit the gym smiling ear to ear. I would just be so grateful to be active once again. I’m praying and believing that if it’s God’s will each of these things will to come to be. Jesus I believe it’s all possible with you in the mix!

“ Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” 

(Ephesians 3:20-21)