The Dam May Be Breaking Again


According to my Fitbit I’ve slept almost 2 1/2 hours. I’m now sitting up in my bed just trying to catch my breath. Every night my dreams keep getting more and more intense. As if I need anymore intensity running throughout my nerve stricken body. 

I’ve now had my stimulator turned down for several hours in hopes of stopping the nerve surges that keep running through my legs and feet. I’m afraid it’s not changing a thing. My nerve pain seems to have risen once again just as it has in the past. This is how I’ve felt prior to each time the doctor had to up my nerve pain medication.

The problem is I don’t have much more I can increase. And last time I tried increasing to the maximum dosage I dealt with an intense itching reaction. I already take 4 times the amount of nerve pain meds I was taking prior to my first of three surgeries 2 years ago. If my  body were to endure one more small increase in my medication I would have reached my relief ceiling. It seems every 4-6 months the dam breaks and my pain once again is not able to be contained. Where this is headed only God knows, but I would be lying if I didn’t say it frightens me to even ponder the possibilities. 

“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”                              (Isaiah 43:1-3)(NLT)

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